Rennie1989
12-04-14, 20:38
Some of you may be aware that I was arranging an appointment at a prestigious commercial barrister chambers for the past three months. I was cancelled on twice (which I completely understood) which did add to the apprehension of the visit.
So the day before, on Thursday, I was given the thumbs up that the meeting was definitely going ahead. Days before my stomach was tying itself in knots over the impending meet, but Thursday was the worst. That morning my husband received the awful news of his childhood friend had passed away, leaving behind a mother, husband and two children. It was very sudden and the nature of her passing only added to the shock. I felt cruel to be leaving for London that day, leaving my husband on his own for the night, but he insisted that I went nonetheless. I stayed with my in-laws, who knew the friend and her family well, and they too were still shocked and saddened of the news. Her passing, especially the nature of her passing, only added to my anxiety, which I kept to myself.
That night I had not experienced such high anxiety in years. I practised all sorts of relaxation techniques, distraction techniques and even techniques I made up there and then! I felt physically sick and momentarily contemplated cancelling (which I dismissed quickly). The difficulty of sleeping that night was made worse when two power cuts caused the landline and various machines in the living room to churn when the electricity came back!
Friday morning was painful. My appetite was sapped, I could not satisfy my caffeine addiction with coffee as I knew the caffeine would only make me worse, I suppose the withdrawals were the lesser of the two evils. My sister-in-law was due to leave, with her parents, to attend her graduation. Again, I had to refrain from going on about my anxiety as hers were likely to be as high as mine, for different reasons of course. My trip to Victoria went lightening quick and from waiting for the train from Croydon to waiting for an appropriate time to tackle the tubes I smoked the best part of half a packet of cigarettes!
Once I arrived at Chancery Lane my anxiety somewhat disappeared and was replaced by awe. I took a multitude of mental pictures of the scenary and of my own anxiety to apply to my novel. As I approached the chambers a song came on my iPod, Looking Glass by The La's, which will forever remind me of the experience!
The meeting at chambers went brilliantly, and far too quick. The practice manager (or senior clerk) was beyond helpful, he gave me a book that one of his barrister's wrote about how to become a barrister (I believe the barrister suggested the manager giving it to me) with a business card from the manager. The advice he gave me at the time was impeccable and even said he will help with my novel once I have finished the first draft. I still cannot believe how such an influential man (as well as the generosity of the barrister) will help somebody like me!
So this whole experience has not only challenged me in terms of my anxiety but has improved on my self-image and self-confidence. It has also given me that massive push to get these novels completed, but not just to finish them but to get them to a standard that I want them at, that I can only hope chambers will appreciate. I still cannot believe where I was yesterday, to be given the privilege to visit a prestigious set of chambers in the heart of legal London. Pinch me!!
So the day before, on Thursday, I was given the thumbs up that the meeting was definitely going ahead. Days before my stomach was tying itself in knots over the impending meet, but Thursday was the worst. That morning my husband received the awful news of his childhood friend had passed away, leaving behind a mother, husband and two children. It was very sudden and the nature of her passing only added to the shock. I felt cruel to be leaving for London that day, leaving my husband on his own for the night, but he insisted that I went nonetheless. I stayed with my in-laws, who knew the friend and her family well, and they too were still shocked and saddened of the news. Her passing, especially the nature of her passing, only added to my anxiety, which I kept to myself.
That night I had not experienced such high anxiety in years. I practised all sorts of relaxation techniques, distraction techniques and even techniques I made up there and then! I felt physically sick and momentarily contemplated cancelling (which I dismissed quickly). The difficulty of sleeping that night was made worse when two power cuts caused the landline and various machines in the living room to churn when the electricity came back!
Friday morning was painful. My appetite was sapped, I could not satisfy my caffeine addiction with coffee as I knew the caffeine would only make me worse, I suppose the withdrawals were the lesser of the two evils. My sister-in-law was due to leave, with her parents, to attend her graduation. Again, I had to refrain from going on about my anxiety as hers were likely to be as high as mine, for different reasons of course. My trip to Victoria went lightening quick and from waiting for the train from Croydon to waiting for an appropriate time to tackle the tubes I smoked the best part of half a packet of cigarettes!
Once I arrived at Chancery Lane my anxiety somewhat disappeared and was replaced by awe. I took a multitude of mental pictures of the scenary and of my own anxiety to apply to my novel. As I approached the chambers a song came on my iPod, Looking Glass by The La's, which will forever remind me of the experience!
The meeting at chambers went brilliantly, and far too quick. The practice manager (or senior clerk) was beyond helpful, he gave me a book that one of his barrister's wrote about how to become a barrister (I believe the barrister suggested the manager giving it to me) with a business card from the manager. The advice he gave me at the time was impeccable and even said he will help with my novel once I have finished the first draft. I still cannot believe how such an influential man (as well as the generosity of the barrister) will help somebody like me!
So this whole experience has not only challenged me in terms of my anxiety but has improved on my self-image and self-confidence. It has also given me that massive push to get these novels completed, but not just to finish them but to get them to a standard that I want them at, that I can only hope chambers will appreciate. I still cannot believe where I was yesterday, to be given the privilege to visit a prestigious set of chambers in the heart of legal London. Pinch me!!