Share your advice - self-help with anxiety

[sophrbk]

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking a lot recently about how to deal with my anxiety and negative thought spirals, and how it can be easy to let myself think taking medication and seeing a counsellor will automatically make these feelings go away.

What I struggle with is the fact that I actually need to help myself. My negative thoughts come from the fact that I feel I have to think about bad things to prepare myself, or to figure them out, so it's difficult to actually take control of my mindset and work on making it better.

So, I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to help yourself? Motivation tips, for example, or anything they've found has helped when trying to deal with their anxiety. :)

[Rennie1989]

There is nothing wrong with seeing a counsellor or getting talking therapy. You're correct that they will not fix the problem but they do give you the tools to help fix the problem yourself. I learnt a lot from CBT which aided me to begin tackling the anxiety. I have my own beliefs regarding medication.

As for me my self help techniques are abundant, they include:
- Deep, long breathing (beneficial for stressful environments or when nervous) - it is a natural way of kick starting the parasympathetic nervous system, or the 'brakes', which slows your heart rate
- Eat well, drink well, sleep well
- Keep active - this releases endorphines or 'happy hormones'
- Intellectual thinking, for example 'I doubt my flat will blow up when I leave' and 'It is highly unlikely that my headache is a result of a brain tumour, but possibly dehydration
- Alcohol - I never advice people to abstain from alcohol but I do suggest that you keep it to an absolute minimum and be savvy as to when it is not a good idea to drink. I drink only occasionally
- Talk to people - bottling up problems only makes them worse, a five minute chat to a friend does the world of good
- Practise relaxation when at home because it'll help to teach you how to be calm and will be easier to do when the time calls for it
- Do things that you enjoy - having a hobby is wonderful for your health because it builds on self confidence and self worth

And loads more...

[sophrbk]

Thanks so much for your reply! I think I phrased my initial post really badly - I'm actually seeing a counsellor already, but what I'm struggling with is making myself actually use the techniques she gives me, if that makes sense? So it's like I just expect her to fix my problems just by me going allowing to a session.

I'm definitely going to try some of those ideas, though :)

[cloudbusting]

Hi Soph

I use YouTube a lot to look for relaxation videos and guided meditation. It has been my lifeline at all times of the day when panicking and during the night when I can't sleep.

As Rennie says watch your diet and do a bit of exercise. Walking is brilliant, it's free and I always feel better afterwards.

I have nicked my daughter's Kindle to use these past couple of weeks and there are loads of books you can download to help remind you of good CBT techniques.

Remember too that it's *your* time with your counsellor so if you need a 'refresher' about some of the things that you are working on or you need him/her to be more specific to help you to understand things then ask.

Lisa x

[sophrbk]

Thanks Lisa - I'll have to have a look on Youtube for some videos. Someone at my work is doing a meditation session in a couple of weeks as well, so I might give that a go!

I've been told by a lot of people that exercise helps but I find it really difficult to motivate myself - have been trying to take a walk every night though, to clear my head, and I think it might be helping a bit.

Currently reading The Chimp Paradox, I don't know if you've heard it? I think books are a really good idea, I think the mistake I make though is choosing to read when I'm already feeling anxious or scared - it means I want immediate answers and don't take in all the good advice!

[cloudbusting]

Ooh, I've not heard of that one, shall give it a look, thanks.

There are audiobooks on YouTube as well, nice to relax to and nod off to occasionally :D

[blueangel]

what I'm struggling with is making myself actually use the techniques she gives me, if that makes sense? So it's like I just expect her to fix my problems just by me going along to a session.


OK, if you want my two pennyworth, this is the key thing. Any of us who go to any sort of counselling/CBT have to engage with it, or it won't work.

If your counsellor is being paid for the NHS, think about what it would be like if you were paying for it yourself - this can help to focus the mind a bit more, as when we're not footing the bill ourselves, it can make a difference to our attitudes.

Things I have found have helped are:

* CBT - it isn't the "cure", but it's the tools for the cure for a lot of people
* Mindfulness/meditation - it's helped me tremendously
* occupying my mind with something that means I can't think about other stuff at the same time - for me, this is stuff like knitting or sudoku, as I have to concentrate on it. Occupying your mind breaks the rumination/worry chain
* thinking about things outside myself - one of the most distressing things for me about depression and anxiety are the selfishness/self-centredness that they cause. As a result of the illness, you're only capable of thinking about yourself (this happens to huge numbers of people) and actually there is a lot more out there!

[Rennie1989]

Walking is better than nothing. It has so many benefits, like releasing happy hormones, building up on your fitness, regulates breathing etc. And with the weather getting nicer it will help more :)

[sophrbk]

Walking is better than nothing. It has so many benefits, like releasing happy hormones, building up on your fitness, regulates breathing etc. And with the weather getting nicer it will help more :)

I did think this! It's been great with the lighter evenings to be able to walk when I get home from work :) The only difficulty at the moment is that I always feel like I need an excuse to walk, and our poor old dog (she's 12, blind and diabetic!) doesn't get very far when I take her out! I'm going to keep at it though - hopefully the more I do it the less my intrusive thoughts will sneak in and wreck my enjoyment of the sunshine :D

---------- Post added at 13:08 ---------- Previous post was at 13:06 ----------


OK, if you want my two pennyworth, this is the key thing. Any of us who go to any sort of counselling/CBT have to engage with it, or it won't work.

If your counsellor is being paid for the NHS, think about what it would be like if you were paying for it yourself - this can help to focus the mind a bit more, as when we're not footing the bill ourselves, it can make a difference to our attitudes.

Things I have found have helped are:

* CBT - it isn't the "cure", but it's the tools for the cure for a lot of people
* Mindfulness/meditation - it's helped me tremendously
* occupying my mind with something that means I can't think about other stuff at the same time - for me, this is stuff like knitting or sudoku, as I have to concentrate on it. Occupying your mind breaks the rumination/worry chain
* thinking about things outside myself - one of the most distressing things for me about depression and anxiety are the selfishness/self-centredness that they cause. As a result of the illness, you're only capable of thinking about yourself (this happens to huge numbers of people) and actually there is a lot more out there!

Thanks for this - this is exactly the trouble I'm having. The problem is that it's so much easier to wallow in anxiety and negative thoughts, and equally easy to trick yourself into believing just attending sessions will fix all your problems.

I've heard a lot about mindfulness; is it something you can do yourself, or do you need to go to a session? Agreed on knitting, I spent the whole of last night weaving in the ends on a jumper I've just finished, which was tedious but really occupied my thoughts!

---------- Post added at 13:11 ---------- Previous post was at 13:08 ----------


Ooh, I've not heard of that one, shall give it a look, thanks.

There are audiobooks on YouTube as well, nice to relax to and nod off to occasionally :D

It's great, it's all about the division between rational/irrational thinking, with the human mind being rational and the 'chimp' mind being irrational and based on emotions, instincts, etc. Sounds mad but it's based on science and the different parts of the brain, just translated into easy to understand terms I think :) Once you've read a bit of it it's so easy to notice the difference between the two thought patterns!

Ooh I'll have to check it out - sounds perfect! :D I really want to find something that'll help with mornings, as I've found I feel the worst when I wake up and my mind us chock full of horrible, negative thoughts.

[MyNameIsTerry]

A member on here has been mentioning The Chimp Paradox, it might have been Oosh. Do a search as there were some interesting comments about it.

Mindfulness meditation is from Buddhism, so you can attend classes at Buddhist centres or group sessions with practioners who have trained in it. Tara is one you will come across often in the UK and in my city it's a walk in thing for £5.

You can do it on your own and it's recommended by CBT therapists. It's even evolved into Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) created by Jon Kabat-Zinn or Mindfulness Based Cognitive Thereapy (MBCT) co created by Prof Mark Williams from OXford Uni. Have a look at BeMindful which has some stats on about how successful it is and some vids from Mark Williams. Both have books out. Mark Williams' book contains 8 different guided meditations to use on the book's 8 week course.

There are free online ones and Apps.

It takes time to learn but is relaxing earlier on. Once you have spent months on it, you may start to see changes as I did.

Mindfulness is one type of meditation which has taken over from Transendentall Meditation which had a lot of shady societies and quacks involved so became unpopular with the medical world.

There are even studies taking place, some have already shown results, to show that frequent meditation causes neuroplasticity in the brain - it creates new neural pathways. This is still new science but it is encouraging that it's starting to show users become more spiritual, accepting and compassionate.

[blueangel]

I'd agree with what you've said about mindfulness - I actually found it worked on me quite quickly as I think I just "clicked" with it.

This video article from the BBC gives a bit more information:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16406814

[sophrbk]

Thanks a lot for the information on mindfulness, both of you - I had a chat with my counsellor about it in my session last night, and she mentioned all of the great research being done into it at Oxford and the work of Williams to get it recognised by the NHS etc.

Will definitely have to give it a try. Also have started asking my counsellor for 'homework' because I know I won't attempt to help myself if I can't measure my progress, if that makes sense? Apparently it's not enough to just want to be happy again, haha.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thats good, I mentioned Mark Williams to my CBT therapist and they were aware of his work. They were quite interested in his MBCT courses.

---------- Post added at 04:21 ---------- Previous post was at 04:15 ----------


I'd agree with what you've said about mindfulness - I actually found it worked on me quite quickly as I think I just "clicked" with it.

This video article from the BBC gives a bit more information:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16406814

You jammy...person :D

I found it relaxing but not much else at first. I didn't see how it could help me and I told my therapist this.

After a month, I started to feel different about it and I connected more with it. I had a couple of episodes where I found myself in proper Mindfulness - I was feeling the sunshine, the grass, listening to the birds, I felt happy and I had a strange feeling of appreciation for everything around me. I fed this back to my therapist and she said it's how it goes as it can take a while to click with it.

After 6 months, I noticed changes in my attitude despite nothing else changing in my 'bubble'. I found my OCD greatly reduced more from this than from CBT and I was less anxious and more able to cope with the blips.

I even had a stomach virus and found myself with proper nausea, not anixety fake nausea, and while being sick I heard my mind saying "see, this is nausea!" and since then I've had hardly any real nausea again.

My next move is to start looking at more movement based versions such as QiGong or being more Mindful in daily life than I have been.

[blueangel]

I suspect what helped with me is that I can identify with the Buddhist way of thinking - I have a couple of friends who are Buddhists and I've always been envious of how serene they are (there are times when it helps to be an ageing hippy!)

Where it's helped me is with the "random" anxiety that seems to come from nowhere. Another completely odd thing that helped me come to terms with my anxiety was watching a science programme about the creation of the universe. When you consider that we are all ultimately made of the elements that have been created from stars, that's just such a fab thought.