Martyna25
17-04-14, 14:43
Hi everyone,
i need to get some advices how to deal with partners anxiety. How pass this hard time and the most important: HOW HELP HIM.
I have met brilliant, intelligent man. Love of my life. Very soon it turned up that he is anxious.
He was completely light-hearted, he was joking still - now i know that his attitude was some kind of creation to hide extremally sad feelings..But those days I didnt realize what anxiety really is.
Everything was going smoothly till we kissed each other (and it wasnt our the very first time - it was our 4th date in real - mostly we spent time together in web cause of distance). He broke up with me after that act. He told me that beside of anxiety he is suffering for phobia. He is still worrying that he get HIV..thats why kissing me was something disgusting for him...
I felt like all my life is going to be ruin. I wanted to calm him down and i was trying to make him sure that I am completely healthy. Of course i wanted show him proof in order to make him relaxed. First of all he said "alright, u are reliable, lets try" but then he broke up with me one more time, said that he dont love me anymore.
After 1,5 week he told me that he is really in love with me and he is missing. He gave me propose : lets avoid typical kisses (when our salivas are mixing) for some time. I agreed cause i start understanding this painful disorder, i wanted (and still want) face it with him and be next to whenever he needs. We prepared weekend on seaside in order to spend some time together. It was looking like he is really in love, that he care. Chemistry which were present between us exploded. We didnt kiss each other in lips, we hadnt real sex, but there was some intimate situation between us. After that, when we have finished, he went to bathroom and start washing himself very strictly and properly. I felt like I would be a dirty whore for him (maybe this is true at least - he is Saudi so everybody knows that they can have special opinion about Europeans). So i forgot about his anxiety that day and i have started shouting and blame him and we broke up again.
He said he dont wanna hurt me more while living without him is hurting me the most. I want face this anxiety with him as i mentioned before, i want help him somehow but really...i dont know how.
Finally...I know that his treatment can remain such a long time but even though - i love him and my decision is clear, i feel that i am prepared.
Advices are so welcomed...
i need to get some advices how to deal with partners anxiety. How pass this hard time and the most important: HOW HELP HIM.
I have met brilliant, intelligent man. Love of my life. Very soon it turned up that he is anxious.
He was completely light-hearted, he was joking still - now i know that his attitude was some kind of creation to hide extremally sad feelings..But those days I didnt realize what anxiety really is.
Everything was going smoothly till we kissed each other (and it wasnt our the very first time - it was our 4th date in real - mostly we spent time together in web cause of distance). He broke up with me after that act. He told me that beside of anxiety he is suffering for phobia. He is still worrying that he get HIV..thats why kissing me was something disgusting for him...
I felt like all my life is going to be ruin. I wanted to calm him down and i was trying to make him sure that I am completely healthy. Of course i wanted show him proof in order to make him relaxed. First of all he said "alright, u are reliable, lets try" but then he broke up with me one more time, said that he dont love me anymore.
After 1,5 week he told me that he is really in love with me and he is missing. He gave me propose : lets avoid typical kisses (when our salivas are mixing) for some time. I agreed cause i start understanding this painful disorder, i wanted (and still want) face it with him and be next to whenever he needs. We prepared weekend on seaside in order to spend some time together. It was looking like he is really in love, that he care. Chemistry which were present between us exploded. We didnt kiss each other in lips, we hadnt real sex, but there was some intimate situation between us. After that, when we have finished, he went to bathroom and start washing himself very strictly and properly. I felt like I would be a dirty whore for him (maybe this is true at least - he is Saudi so everybody knows that they can have special opinion about Europeans). So i forgot about his anxiety that day and i have started shouting and blame him and we broke up again.
He said he dont wanna hurt me more while living without him is hurting me the most. I want face this anxiety with him as i mentioned before, i want help him somehow but really...i dont know how.
Finally...I know that his treatment can remain such a long time but even though - i love him and my decision is clear, i feel that i am prepared.
Advices are so welcomed...