harm ocd around babies

[shieldmaiden]

So for awhile I've had harm ocd most specifically revolving around babies/small children. And it's getting really exhausting. It's to the point where I have to ruminate every time I see one and that is ALOT. I mean, you can't go out into public without seeing a baby or a small child, you can't even hardly watch a movie or a tv show without seeing them either. Usually what happens, is I'll see one and I'll instantly have to imagine myself causing harm to them, to make sure I am repulsed by it or I have to ask myself if I want to cause them harm and then the ruminating begins. I had a scary moment yesterday that is still bothering me, I was watching some show and there was a baby in it, and I instantly felt like I wanted to cause the baby harm and that I hated the baby, it was a very intense feeling. Right after, I had this thought, of course, I instantly freaked out in my head, I'm still freaking out. Because why did I have that feeling? Am I really this monster? I just don't understand. I absolutely do not want to feel that way at all, so why is this happening?

[RoseEve]

You are not a monster. These are intrusive thought. The thought scared you. People that are murders and child abusers enjoy what they do. You should look into therapy to help you. You can't love your life avoiding children, like you you said they are everywhere.

[shieldmaiden]

Thank you, both of you. This helps. :)

[MyNameIsTerry]

Have you seen your doctor and asked for therapy such as CBT? It will help you.

This link might show you a bit more about the types of OCD and how violent thoughts fit into it.

http://www.ocduk.org/types-ocd

Make sure you read that part that says they have found those with these are least likely to commit such as act as they are disgusted by these thoughts.

[ziggybites]

Hi as others have said your getting thoughts that upset you. They do not mean you are a bad person. Your only a bad person if you enjoy those thoughts! The best way to deal with them is to accept them and try and focus on something else. its really hard..i suffer a lot with them but by reading about ocd/anxiety can be helpful to getting better.

[Syddieboo123]

Oh boy , here we go !! We'll I'm a 15 year old girl and I have major intrusive thoughts that really affect my dial life ! I'm going to share my story . So here it is.

Okay , my name is Sydney & about 6 months ago from today i saw this post on Facebook and it was called the "independence thots page" and it was a page where people posted hateful things about people along with their pictures ... We'll I showed my mom & she thought I had did it because I was so amused at what I was seeing that she thought I was so excited to show what I've done . We'll that wasn't the case at all ! I didn't write it and I knew I didn't write it but I then , after being accused I pictured myself doing it and it was almost like my thought became a memory and I was looking at it like memory when really it was just a thought ! We'll I started becoming quite obsessed with this , occasionally asking myself if I had made the page and that's where it all began , my life of living hell. I didn't stop thinking about that for about a week when my neice came over & she wanted to sleep with me . I was in the shower and I heard my mom say "Sydney where's Memri"?! (Which is her name) and I told her I was in the shower , we'll right there , right in that second I was thinking and I thought to myself why is my mom asking me that ? Why is she asking me where Memri is? Does she think I'm molesting her or something?! We'll right there is when I thought of that terrible thought of molesting her . It was terrible and I became obsessed with it and started believing I actually did it! I would look at her face and cry and then here's where it got worse , I looked at my sister and thought of molesting her ! I felt like I was a pedo , u made myself believe that I was a pedo ! Every baby girl I looked at I thought of that. I thought it would never end ! I tried everything!!! But eventually it faded away and another one popped up , which was the thought of me and my brother ....... Ya know .... Omg my life was done ! I prayed everyday , every night , I told mom , I told my brother (not about the thoughts with him) but about our sister. I just couldn't do it anymore ! I was scared to death. And then I started thinking of with my mom !!! And that one faded . It's like they all fade when a new on appears and it just keeps going on and on just with new ones , and that's when the shit got out of control , when I thought of me and my father ! I couldn't deal with it anymore . I can't deal with it anymore . That's the thought I'm stuck on today !! Right now , I feel like I like these thoughts but I know I don't , I hate every inch of them . I've learned to cope with them though . But it doesn't help good ! I need someone's help please ! This is taking over my life.