enough is enough

[I'mdave27]

It's time to take my life back from depression and anxiety. I don't want to be held hostage by these crippling conditions , it's horrible , so I need to fight back in a gentle loving way. Since giving up drinking alcohol I've felt really anxious , not all the time , I now understand that anxiety is my main state and drinking alcohol to relieve that is a symptom. Does anyone know any good books that could help me ?

[summer.wolf]

I am in a similar situation but I do drink too much to numb the anxiety. How did you stop? I don't know how and it scares me so I drink to numb the fear. Vicious circle. Please feel free to p m me if you like.

[xrachykinsx]

I found 'At last a life' pretty interesting and down to earth. It was the book that made me realise 'okay...I'm not losing my mind, or going crazy and helped me see that everything I was experiencing was totally all anxiety.

[HalfJack]

Likewise with the anxiety/drinking; esp social anxiety.
I don't know of any books but awesome attitude dude!

[I'mdave27]

Attitude is everything or so I'm told lol

[nomorepanic]

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/reading/

[RichieSwansea_1985]

I'm a Monday-Thursday stress head, then Friday-Sunday ****head , don't need a pub, happily get hammered watching murder she wrote whilst my gf looks at me stupid, still not sure how to get out of this one, been like it for 15 years now

Set myself a 30 day no drink challenge now, or im going to AA, saying that, it's currently day 1 and a Monday, see what happens by Friday, any advice on how to stop would be greatly appreciated though

[Oosh]

I'll tell you how I stopped.
Drinking = panic and acute insanity inducing anxiety. The thought of drinking now just conjures up an image of me waking up the next day to the terror that I drank last night and what's to come.
I never want that again so have zero problem not drinking.

Associate alcohol with panic, madness etc and you'll stop over night.

Associate being straight with feeling sane and confident and building a great life.

[RichieSwansea_1985]

I write on my phone every weekend after drinking how bad it feels when I'm hungover and tell myself to read it before i buy any booze, Friday comes again and i just zone out and head straight to the shops for booze, even though i know i should just look at my phone and read it, can't seem to do it

[Rennie1989]

I recently read Healing Without Freud or Prozac and it was very fascinating. It has lots of self help tips like exercising, relaxing, diet etc. It's worth a shot.

Also, read my blogs (link in my signature) as I do have tips and advice on there :)

[I'mdave27]

I think if you associate drinking with panic , fear and madness that is more likely to make you drink. I don't know why but it is just that way like if you went to the doctors and he said your dying so you need to cut down on alcohol that's likely to make you scared so you'll drink to eliminate that fear , it's confusing so don't try to understand. If I'm honest there is no advice I could give you it's a journey you must make yourself to find out what works for you and what doesn't because remember what works for me , might not work for you. All I can say is you have to have the will and desire to want to stop drinking otherwise you are just stacking the odds against yourself , does that make sense ? I hope so. The thing about getting drunk is it makes you feel invincible to lifes problems and emotions so you drink to avoid problems.

[Oosh]

Well I associate drinking with panic and that motivated me to stop drinking so that theories flawed.

NLP says people seek pleasure and avoid pain.

Alcoholics will tell you you won't stop until you reach rock bottom.
Rock bottom = the point where you get more pain than pleasure in drinking.

Rock bottom/pain can be post drinking panic or it can be losing your home/wife/kids.

If you can't "get" that then it's because you haven't yet experienced enough pain/rock bottom and still derive enough pleasure to make it worthwhile.

Ie I can't face my friends or myself if I'm not drunk. I'll be so lonely. I'm sorry but I can't face that so still need to drink even though I know it's wrong.

I don't need to "try" to understand. I was practically a "shut in". Lived in my bedroom with crippling social anxiety. I couldn't face my friends anymore unless I was drinking. That's what gave me a panic attack. Trying to pretend everything was ok, watching telly until one night I had a panic attack because I knew it was all out of control. I couldn't face anyone anymore unless I was drunk.
It culminated in me stopping eating for days. All I did was drink. Then I stopped ...

My dad said I had a fit, went unconscious and he stopped me from swallowing my tongue. An ambulance was called and I was taken to hospital unconscious. I remember writhing about on my bed and then nothing else.
I don't remember hospital, I remember nothing.
Afterwards I couldn't hold a glass of water.
The doc had to give me jabs because I was so run down.
I stopped drinking after that and that was the end of my social life. I barely left my room for 1-2 years.
Believe me, I've done alcohol. I don't need to "try" to understand.

If a doctor tells an alcoholic to stop drinking or he'll die, he probably will have a drink, but not out of fear that he's gonna die but out of the same fear of living life without a drink he already had.
People seek pleasure and avoid pain.
Probably with underlying mental health problems he still finds it more preferable to keep drinking and face death rather than stop and have to live life with his depression/PTSD/mental illness etc

Only when you associate drinking more with pain than pleasure will you have the motivation to stop.

Save yourself the pain of reaching your own rock bottom by taking heed of someone else's.

Only the bit about "don't try to understand" is directed at you Dave. I know you've already stopped.
I was really trying to help the lad who wanted tips on helping to stop.




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[I'mdave27]

No , I don't agree with your views. I got a book here on addiction it says the brain only remembers the good side of drinking , the good invincible feeling , so that's why it's hard for some to stop. I get times when I miss it because I have had some amazing nights whilst being drunk but the anxiety the next day was terrible and that isn't why I quit incase you are wondering , most people assume it. I stopped drinking because I am trying to live a natural life without any toxic substances within my body so this year it's alcohol and who knows maybe next year it will be eating better or exercising more. The thing about thinking about pain to stop you drinking is you can still get cravings when you go out with friends because you have to carry on as normal or you feel you are making a sacrifice it's all mind games , which is hard. The thing I found out with my new life style is that drunk people are generally boring and that most of the population are addicted to alcohol even if they don't know or admit it , it's sad really. To think I was once in that box...

[Fishmanpa]

Hell of a post Oosh!

It's what I've said many times on here. It's a medical fact, drinking and anxiety don't mix.

It's akin to smoking when you have a fear of cancer or other physical illnesses.

Positive thoughts

[I'mdave27]

It maybe a medical fact but it still doesn't stop most people from drinking , does it ? Nope. When you drink to relieve anxiety you get to a point where you have to drink every time to relieve those anxiety feelings because it messes up your brain which effects your brains chemicals. Plus not everyone has the ability to just think 'I'll stop because it's bad for me' if that was the case they wouldn't be in that position or do you think that it's not a chemical as well as a pyscological (not sure if that's how you spell it) addiction ? I'm one of the few people where if something is bad for me it just feels so good , the forbidden fruit , if you tell me to do something I'll do it. Personality plays a lot in addiction so I think that guy who gets drunk while his girlfriend watches him do so should look at it from all angles. Different things work for different people...

[Oosh]

Ok Dave :]

Thanks fishmanpa