looking4answers
05-12-06, 00:08
I woke this morning with the determination that i was going to live till I die..Im tired of all this worry ..and feelings.. and thought about my mother that I know must have suffered with simular problems because i vaugely remember her mentioning some feelings.She did in fact have angina..which was distressing for her but she didnt take the medincine nor go to the doctor when she was suppose to .I woke this morning also not feeling well.I was aware of my heartbeating in my ears as usual..This is something that I will apparently have to live with the rest of my life.. I have been told or if its stress then I might go away but at this point im not counting on it..Its been with me almost really for over a year.I hear my heart in my chest and the sounds its makes..worries me especially when i feel bad..but I woke thinking about it this morning with determination..Ok. Most of the day has gone well and i have rested today and decided that I wouldn't do to much..Chatted with a friend online and was fairly happy..I got a little stressed for awhile so I took an antianxiety pill that im really suppose to be taking three times a day but only usually take one time a day..So i was relaxing and we had friends call and say they were coming by for a moment..When they got here I got up and this is not the first time but I felt as though my body felt weird..its like I can feel it but not feel it.. and my perception seems to be a little off..I was wondering is this because i was in bed most of the day and not using my body and got up and I was acutely aware of my feelings of my legs and arms and my body and its a little anxiety or is this maybe something that could come from a tumor or something?I returned to bed after they left and I had eaten a little which I can usualy hear my heartbeat a little better after eating and could hear the weird sounds it makes.. is this all from anxiety just being acutely aware of my heart sounds and the feeling of my body or could this be something to do with circulation or my brain or what?Its weird..everyday its something .. .feeling this and that.. I hate this feeling and Its been a little off and on everyday and I have kind of ignored it and its gone away.. What happen to the determination and forgetting all this stuff.. Im just so weirded out.. Please let me know what you think..thanks in advance...