Want to say hello and explain my illness

[Sarahandduck]

I've suffered from depression 7-8 years ago and have had little spouts of illness since then but recently I have had trouble with my leg which was diagnosed as sciatica I was given tremadoyl and I currently take citarpram which didn't realise would interfere with my anti depressant so here I am I harmed myself yesterday as I couldn't take it anymore and so many thoughts of me ending my life and suffering anxiety really badly so seen a doctor this mornin who prescribed me diazepam I took one then this afternoon then I few hours later I went back to having a anxiety attack I would say, I just felt like death was the only answer and thank goodness my fiancé is home with me as he has been my rock otherwise I don't think I would be here otherwise. My citarpram was increased from 20mg to 40mg but keep getting told by doctors it's" gonna take 2-3 weeks to feel better and that isn't what you want to hear when your not yourself. So now I can take diazepam 3 times a day to help if I need to.

[AlexandriaUK]

At least you are still here with us which is what we want, also good to hear that your partner is solid support for you, I have been lucky as have never taken meds other than diazepam on a one off basis,always found It great but I know It can be a very addictive med so you need to be careful that you don't become dependant on them, has your doc offered any Therapy to help you over this trying time.
Also you need a bigger support network in place if you have suicidal tendancys.
This site is great though so stay onboard,

[Sarahandduck]

At least you are still here with us which is what we want, also good to hear that your partner is solid support for you, I have been lucky as have never taken meds other than diazepam on a one off basis,always found It great but I know It can be a very addictive med so you need to be careful that you don't become dependant on them, has your doc offered any Therapy to help you over this trying time.
Also you need a bigger support network in place if you have suicidal tendancys.
This site is great though so stay onboard,

Hiya

Thanks for the reply I'm feeling good at the moment but this morning I did try to open the window to get out but it's more of a cry for help you just want the thought of dieing to go away and killing yourself seems the only way out.

Yeah I understand the diazepam that it's short term so won't be taking them a lot only if I need to.

I forgot to ask the doctors to book me in with a councillor to chat too so will do that tomorrow but the doctor didn't feel the need for me to be under the mental health act as whenever I see then I'm not at my worst.

I will stay on board thank you and if I need people to talk too I know I can on here.

[AlexandriaUK]

I'm glad you are a bit better and maybe writing things down has helped as well, there's always someone on here to help you past those points of shear despair, time will also help x

[Sarahandduck]

I suffered a panic attack this mornin after going to the loo but my fiancé helped me through it I was thinking the worst again and I got into a state but today will be a great day I'm not going to let this win.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Good Sarah, keep thinking positive.

Side effects of SSRIs do take a few weeks to pass but if you have such strong feelings that you could self harm or commit suicide the leaflets that come with them advice to contact your GP immediately.

[Sarahandduck]

I'm struggling today does anyone have any tips.

[JoeNoir]

I found the first three weeks on Citalopram to be very rough. There were really black moments. I had to force myself to do things round the house as a distraction. Walking did help as did loosing myself in an audiobook. Again distraction.

[SADnomore]

To be honest, I was also pretty low when I first found this site. What helped me, honestly, was to spend much of my waking hours here, reading anything I thought I could relate to, and really just babying myself along with cups of tea and a blanket. Had the tv on, petted the cats, but mostly I read the threads on here, especially the positives. ...
Marie xx