mum just told me to 'snap out of it'

[Katie_cupcakes]

I had a panic attack whilst on my driving lesson today. Was so scared there was something seriously wrong and went to the docs, she agreed it was a panic attack and asked me all sorts of questions about my anxiety and 'how happy I feel these days' etc...she's the first Dr to suggest medication and wants to see me again next week. I felt so drained that I didn't go to work, but just came home and slept.
Now my mum just came in and basically told me to stop feeling sorry for myself and no wonder i dont feel well when i dont do anything but sit in my room. She has no idea how this feels and is angry with me over something I can't control.

I don't talk to my mum about these things coz I know she just doesn't understand. I havnt said anything about how bad my anxiety is, so when I told her I had a panic attack she said 'you havnt had one of them for years'....i have them all the time, sometimes up to 5 a day.

She's the kind of person who just thinks mental health issues are not 'real things' ... This makes it so much harder for me to cope with when I just get told to snap out of it.

[Worried 24/7]

I understand. My husband always says, "No one can do anything about it but you"and it makes me so angry because obviously if I could I would!

[SarahH]

I have the same type of mum!! It's very difficult for some people to understand anxiety if they never experience it. You could ask your Dr for a leaflet about it to give to your mum or ask her to come to your next appointment and get the Dr to explain.

My mum, even after 14 yrs of me having mental health problems still says unhelpful things e.g. why don't you have a walk around the block that will help!!!!!!!! I have said many times to her.... if it was that easy don't you think I would have done that by now!!!!


Sarah

[ankietyjoe]

As painful as it is and as much as they don't understand, there is a grain of truth in what they say.

[MRS STRESS ED]

Oh its not nice when people say snap out of it if we could we wouldnt of snapped into in the first place ,trouble is people cant see mental illness and you look fine on the outside omg I wish they could see the inside ,I had family saying you need a good kick up the arse ermm not really helpful ,but I suppose to be fair unless you experience it you cant really understand it ,yeah people can have epthany you can see a broken bone you cant see mental illness xx

[Cheesemonster13]

Just what you need when you are already feeling terrible, somebody telling you to "snap out of it", as if that is going to help. They are people who have no experience of extreme anxiety and/or depression, and lack the ability to empathise with others.

I always remember being told something similar by a "friend" some years ago. She said that I was "self-indulgent" and "wallowing in it", in reference to my depression, and that the people around me let me get away with it. The ironic thing is that the next time I saw her, she was suffering badly with post-natal depression. She obviously forgot what she'd said to me previously, because she unself-consciously launched into a catalogue of her symptoms and how she was finding it impossible to cope. Funnily enough I was not even tempted to treat her how she treated me.

[Jonesle]

It's awful isn't it. My dad's the same my mum just says nothing. Dads called me all sorts including stupid and lazy!

[SarahH]

I think after being in a psych unit last year Mum and rest of my family finally understood how bad PTSD is and that it never goes away just lurks under the surface waiting to bite you on the arse at the first sign of stress.

Sometimes I feel very lonely in my own head:weep:

[xrachykinsx]

My mum is much the same DESPITE being an anxiety/depression sufferer herself. I think my mum has had anxiety quite mildly in comparison to what I've experienced...The most annoying comments I've had over the last 6months have been 'Well...I think you're thinking about it too much'..., 'it's simple..stop thinking about it' ...each time I've snapped back 'Well that's the actual problem mother'... I guess its understandable that people that have never been through the same can't understand...xx

[Katie_cupcakes]

I know! My mum has also suggested 'fresh air' and going for a walk.

'Snap out of it'...Gosh! I wish I'd thought of that!

[xrachykinsx]

I suppose we all do get on their nerves sometimes with our constant whinging... but if we could help ourselves..we certainly wouldn't be in this pickle! lol :) x

[Worried 24/7]

My husband always says, "You just gotta do something to get your mind off it". Like, oh wow really?? Cause I definitely didn't try that over the years, thanks for knowing the answer to fix me....

---------- Post added at 00:06 ---------- Previous post was at 00:04 ----------

When someone hasn't experienced the mental pain, suffering and frustration of anxiety, specifically HA in my case, they can't understand how it really feels. I'm aware that I make everyone around me crazy so lately I just don't talk to them. I'm still in pain but at least I'm not irritating then anymore.

[Jabberwoxx]

People don't seem to realise that mentally ill people can't just snap out of it. Sure, there are ways of altering your thought processes, but you can't just DO it like that. It takes months, even years, to get completely back to normal.

I've been called lazy many times. It's horrible. You're not alone, OP.