Why can't I move on from this?

[lass]

My main cause (or symptoms?) of anxiety was my tummy pains / change of bowel habit. This seemed to escalate earlier this year and I went thought various "bowel" tests, and all was ok. Although I then had a very short time of being reassured by this, I feel that I've never completely accepted my diagnosis and moved on.

I've been having counselling and what has come to light is my fear of death. I lost a good friend this year, and another friend 2 years ago (both to different forms of cancer), and I think this has made me realise it "can" happen - then in my head has spiralled to thinking it "will" happen.

My counsellor has given me some CBT work to do at home, and this helps to calm me down when I'm getting anxious over a symptom, to kind of rationalise it a bit. Although, when I'm very anxious, nothing goes into perspective really!

I was told at the start of the counselling that I would be given 6 sessions, and possibly 8 if needed. My 6th session is tomorrow and we are to discuss my progress. I am hoping I will still be allowed a couple more sessions as I don't actually feel I have this under control, I just understand myself a bit better.

But really, I don't know why I cannot accept my diagnosis of IBS. My symptoms haven't changed, if anything they have improved, yet I am deep down still really concerned. I want to go back to my doctor and get some reassurance, but I don't want to waste her time, and she has given me all kinds of advice medically on what I can do/take, and so on.

I do find I worry about every minor lump, bump or symptom I get, but these things go away after a couple of days and I can kind of cope with this.

But I still really worry about my bowel habit (that it's never completely "normal") plus minor tummy discomfort, wind, etc. Deep down, I think I probably am as "normal" as I ever was, but I just can't let go of this thought.

Any ideas??? What can I do??? I'm so fed up with feeling like this. I just want to accept that I'm not ill (with some rare, hidden and undiagnosed condition!) and move on.

I know it sounds irrational, and I know the temptation is for everyone to say to me - of course you're fine, there's nothing seriously wrong. But why can't I believe it???

[anxious]

Hi there,
i know exactly where you are coming from. I had pain in mouth (jaw and tongue) really bad about 5 years ago, it came on after i lost someone very close - he was young too. I went to doctors, dentist & a specialist totally convinced it was mouth cancer but they couldn't find anything at all. They gave me aniti d's, mouthwashes, mouthguards but nothing got rid of the pain.
Five years later the pain is still with me (intermittantly and not as bad) but its still there. The only thing that has eventually helped me is time. I finally had to accept it wasn't anything nasty as i've had it so long. In time i've paid less attention to it and the symptoms have eased.
Like everything time is a great healer.
I wish i knew how you got over the lumps/bumps problem though. Again the only thing i think is that after you've had them for so long and nothing changes then they must be nothing.
love anx xx

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

[lass]

Thanks for your reply.

I only get over the lumps/bumps when they've gone! I do still stress about them while I've got them - but they come and go and are easier to forget. Whereas my bowel cancer fear is with me 24/7.

I don't want to feel like this forever :(. I feel so determined to get over it, but it keeps beating me.

[reddevil]

Hi,

I suffer from same symtoms as you and like you I worry about every lump or spot until it's been looked at or gone.

I have my assesment next Friday, I'm not sure if they can cure me!

Red