OCD type thoughts?

[Monkey001]

Hi,

I'm currently recieving counselling and on antidepressants to try and combat my anxiety. Most of my anxiety centres around my relationship with my boyfriend- I care about him very much, but constantly worry if I 'feel' enough for him, or if I see someone in the street I like the look of this must mean I don't love him and 'its not meant to be'. Its almost that i think its inevitable that relationships don't work out, so theres no point trying.
Its putting a huge strain on the relationship- one minute I can't believe how I can think these things when everythings going well, then I get these horrible thoughts pop into my head that I don't care for him and wouldnt care if he died, etc- which is absolutly ridiculous.
I'm not really one for self- diagnosis- but I've read a few things about OCD- while I used to think that this was all about ritualistic behaviour, compulsions etc- its the only thing that I can identify with to the way these intrusive thoughts seem to control my relationship and my life. Even thinking about the very possibility it might be OCD starts another panic- that I might be making excuses and it really is that the relationship is all wrong. thing is, whether this one works out of not, I'm sure this will be something that continues to happen in later relationships.
HAs anyone else heard of a similar type of OCD? Can you have OCD type thoughts like this? I watched the BBC documentary yesterday, and I didnt think that what the children were going through was all that alien to me- I could easily see myself in a similar position, although at least in my adult life I'm not aware of any such compulsions.
finally- As I said previously, I'm not really into self -diagnosis, its easy to feel drawn to a label or something that explains the way you are feeling- but do you think I should bring up the subject of OCD with my counsellor? I don't want to look like a hypochondriac or melodramatic, if it really is just simple relationship problems.
Sorry for the long post.

k.

[Rachel Ball]

Hi this is a very common OCD problem. It's called what is commonly known as a Pure 'O'. Check out websites like OCD-UK and www.OCDonline.com - some useful info there. Take care - You only think it because you love him so much, OCD has a lovely habit of making you question everything that is of value to you, it is avery nasty piece of work!

[Nel]

Hi k,

I have the pure o form as some call it, obsessions without compulsions (although I do have the odd ritual - I will only get out of bed on one side and stuff like that).
Its soul destroying, and the only thing that has helped me is CBT. I found it massively difficult at first to let the thought(s) just 'sit there'. I didn’t try to reason, I didn’t try to justify, and I just let it sit there.
The thought itself isn’t the problem; everyone has thoughts of 'do I love him/her' or similar (I won’t go into some of my thoughts, I don’t want to give you anything to obsess about! lol), but it is the love you have for those closest which makes the thought so distressing. OCD sufferers often have doubtful/negative thoughts about the people they love the most.
It is natural that we question ourselves sometimes; it’s the secondary thoughts which trouble us O'ers. When you don’t enter into logic or reason with the thought, you don’t get the same secondary distress. It's tough, you need to recognise when you are obsessing. My CB therapist suggested a couple of techniques - imagining my mind as a huge pond and the thought is just one of many rippling in the water, or see the thoughts as passing cars. You need to step back from the thought, your OCD is going to try and convince you this is a genuine concern, and it isn't.

Nel xxx

[Filthy1]

this is so similar to me i get the same thoughts! and im also seeing a councilor. i jsut posted on here to see if there were any ocd sufferers which go throught this. I used to suffer with panic attacks which, i recently discovered, are from what i think is Pure O. im nervous as whether or not to tell my councillor.she might think im self diagnosing ans say its rubbish.


did this come out of the blue? mine did, just as my boyfriend told me he loved me, even though i had been dying to hear the words. and dyng to say them.

keep me updated please.

[Poco a Poco]

I get this too - I love my boyfriend so much and I, like you, doubt sometimes whether I love him as much as I think I do. Which makes me so anxious.

I also get anxious alot that I am going to lose him, over the tiniest things. We have had the odd row but every time we do, I think that its the end and its not going to work and there's no point because we were doomed from the start which is silly because I know deep down that to a certain extent arguments are healthy in a relationship.

I can't really offer any advice as I am only just starting to work my way through these issues by way of self help but I hope you find some help on here/with your counsellor.

Jo

[Filthy1]

yeah this is really stressing me out too liek something is making me doubt my feelings, almost like theres a wall between me, my feeling, and my boyfriend and i cant get them out or something wont let them out or let me feel them. i am constantly obsessing about it all too which ruins everything.