RoseEve
25-04-14, 01:05
I've had anxiety for the past 3 years. My "anniversary" of my anxiety is coming up in May. I had a major panic attack due to smoking cannibas. I couldn't get over the panic. I didn't understand what was happening. I had depersonalization and panic attacks everyday. It was so confusing. I didn't even know what an anxiety disorder was. I knew that was an adolescent I had mild OCD and IBS. But this was intense. I took Zoloft and came out of that horrible time. After that I developed HA. Everyday I was convinced I was dying. I have spend hours upon hours searching for diseases on google. I didn't enjoy life anymore. My husband went to jail very unexpectedly and I was left to care for 2 small children, babies really. My anxiety grew worse.
Then something changed. I decided I was tired of it. I couldn't spend another day thinking about dying. I decided I would rather die then live my life in fear. I asked myself what was scarier, dying or not living? What if I lived? What if I didn't die until I was 100 but wasted my life? It was a turning point. I did actively complete exercises in a CBT book for health anxiety. I do believe this forum has helped me tremendously. I want to thank everyone on this forum for your support. Just knowing there are others that are like me helped me considerably.
I wanted to share this with all of you because there were many times I never thought I'd get better. I've been the the hole of anxiety. I know many of you call it a dragon but for me it's like a deep well that I was trapped in. No light no hope. But I believe I have climbed out of the darkness. Do I have no anxiety now? Of course I do, without it I'm not human. I still have irrational thoughts but I know where to place them and they pass quickly. Those of you down the well, you can climb out. I am going to live my life in the light. Thank you all again for your support.
Then something changed. I decided I was tired of it. I couldn't spend another day thinking about dying. I decided I would rather die then live my life in fear. I asked myself what was scarier, dying or not living? What if I lived? What if I didn't die until I was 100 but wasted my life? It was a turning point. I did actively complete exercises in a CBT book for health anxiety. I do believe this forum has helped me tremendously. I want to thank everyone on this forum for your support. Just knowing there are others that are like me helped me considerably.
I wanted to share this with all of you because there were many times I never thought I'd get better. I've been the the hole of anxiety. I know many of you call it a dragon but for me it's like a deep well that I was trapped in. No light no hope. But I believe I have climbed out of the darkness. Do I have no anxiety now? Of course I do, without it I'm not human. I still have irrational thoughts but I know where to place them and they pass quickly. Those of you down the well, you can climb out. I am going to live my life in the light. Thank you all again for your support.