ITS OVER , i have no idea how to cope

[iainm]

I have severe ha and other problems I have just found out my partner of 10 years has been cheating im destroyed I loved this girl to my core im typing this in tears she was the only reason I battled on with this illness I have nothing to live for now my world has been torn apart I thought the loneliness of ha and anx depression was bad but this doesn't scratch the surface im typing this on here not for people to feel sorry for me but because of ha etc, I have no friends to talk to the world already feels alien it just got 1000 times worse I just want to fall asleep and never wake up sorry for that sounding selfish I just cant cope anymore ty if u took the time to read this x

[bulan]

iainm, I'm so sorry to hear this. I've been cheated on by a former partner, so I remember how it felt like the ground had collapsed under my feet. It was agony for a little while afterwards, but the pain didn't last forever. Please hold on through the pain...

[iainm]

ty for the reply bulan im just destroyed

[jillyb]

Understandably you are devastated BUT you WILL get over it, I promise you. I was 42 when my marriage broke down. I had 3 children and my ex had not been paying the mortgage and I lost my home. He went overseas and so I couldn't get any maintenance either. The bank came after me for the £52,000 shortfall which, without the help of a solicitor, I managed to settle for £2000. Then I met a wonderful man who took me and 3 children on and we have been married for 17 years now. I am telling you this as encouragement! If a 42 year old, penniless and with 3 children can find true happiness so can you, and you will. The ride will be rough for a while but you will come through the other side. Seek help from counselling if you need it. Keep busy, take up a new hobby, anything to start mixing with people again. You'll get through this. Xx

[Serenity1990]

I'm sorry to hear this, I've been there and I know your pain.

The next few weeks will be tough but you'll get through them. What I can promise you is over time you'll get over it and come to the realisation that if she can do that to you she wasn't the right one for you and you can and will do better. It's times like this your friends are for!

[Annie0904]

It wont seem like it at the moment but you will cope and you will find happiness again. My story is similar to jilly's. I was left on my own with 3 children at the age of 40. No money and as my ex had the house as part of his job I also lost my home. A few years later I was married again and have a wonderful loving husband. Separating from a partner is similar to a bereavement and we have ti go through the grieving process. You have done the right thing writing about this and you will find support here. It will get easier.

[Jonesle]

How are you doing this afternoon? X

[MRS STRESS ED]

Iainm so sorry to hear this I think most of us can relate to the hurt your feeling love ,but I know you wont want to hear it but she wasnt the one for you the real one wouldnt rip your heart out esspecially with your other problems god bless and trust me It will get better I have been there xx and remember nothing and no one is worth more than you xx

[iainm]

ty for the replys folks things have changed slightly my partner is adamant she hasn't cheated but she did lie which is odd for her and also she is being off but having ha is sometimes good cos off I went to google and what I read says she is cheating etc etc but funny thing is people say don't always believe google , she says she loves me and there is no one else and we can sort the arguments over it, out , but im not sure if the paranoia is my ha or me saying walk u idiot im just in the worst place possible at the mo xxxxx

[Worried 24/7]

What is the exact situation? What makes you think she's cheating?

[iainm]

I don't really want to go to deep into it as I still need to show some privacy but it looks 50/50 at the mo ty for your reply

[bulan]

I hope things get sorted out for you, iainm.

[Serenity1990]

With things like this, type in any behaviours with respect to your partner and google will yell you she's cheating. This is because of the abundance of trashy magazines and websites which make up absolute bullshit to sells magazines and get hits.

She may be your partner but she's a human being just like you. She'll go through smooth and rough patches in her own emotions, completely unrelated to your relationship, which will impact on her behaviour in the relationship. Or it could be far more simple than that. For example I remember when I moved quite a distance away from my ex she was convinced I was going out all the time and cheating on her, just because my phone tended to be off in the evening. In reality it was because I was working really hard at the time and getting early nights, turning the phone off for peace and quiet and so I wouldn't be tempted to go out the night before work. I really couldn't believe it, but when I saw her a couple of weeks later she was really distraught!

[bingjam]

Sorry to hear about this... but just like with health anxiety you shouldnt have googled cause it always gives the worst answer . .

Hope the outcome is good for you and she hasnt.

I couldnt imagine it

Good luck

[Fishmanpa]

I guess I'm confused... you found out she was cheating by finding something that was on Google that SHE actually said or posted or just a Google search that said "this, this and this means she's cheating"?

Positive thoughts

[mummyanxious]

Agree with jillyb. Been there and been left with two small children. Whole world and children's lives ripped apart. BUT you will get through it. And you never know this could be the thing to sort yourself out. I know that may sound completely crazy. But it's in our darkest times we come out stronger. Best wishes.

[iainm]

I googled and found a relationship website that is very reputable instead of random garbage she cant explain her actions but says nothing has happened so gonna have to try and forget about it and move on ty so much for the replies and kind words xxx