Fear of the unknown

[Humly]

Sorry, this might be a long one. This is the thing that really kick started my health anxiety. 9 years or so ago I developed Bells Palsy just 10 days before I was due to give birth to my first child and I was quite frankly distraught. I cried all day every day until my baby was born and a bit more afterwards. You see I had imagined how wonderful it would be to have my baby and could see myself smiling at everyone and showing my baby off, feeling so proud (too much tv perhaps?). But instead, I didnt want anyone to see me, hid away for a good few weeks until I started to recover. I sound vain and selfish but I am not really. I was just so afraid that I wouldnt get better and to make it worse I knew of someone who didnt fully recover. If anyone does not know what Bells Palsy is it is a virus that attacks the facial muscles, usually on one side and paralyses one side of the face, rather like a stroke. Anyway, I did recover but it affected me a lot and this was the first time I ended up on antidepressants. Do you know that I felt so bad that at the time I said to myself that I would rather have cancer or something rather than this. This is totally shocking and I apologise for this. Cancer is one of my biggest fears.

I know that this is not a serious thing, not life threatening or anything but I am still scared that I might get it again. What has brought this to the fore again is that I was talking to a lady who currently has this and she has had it 5 times! If only I hadnt talked to her. I thought that it was very rare to get this more than once and of course I am thinking "what if" I get it again. I sound really pathetic I know but I had such an awful time that I cant seem to move on. I dare not google it as I dont want to know the statistics - only that it is extremely unlikely to happen - please dont tell me anything different.

I have self anyalysed myself to death. I understand exactly what I am doing and why I am doing it yet I cannot seem to stop this anxiety roundabout. I need to give myself a reason for being anxious to every now and again I latch on to something and go for it big time. So this is my latest thing.

Sorry this has been so long. Thanks for listening. I cant really talk to anybody about this as I know that I am being irrational and I'm embarassed at how stupid this is. Crikey, you could worry about developing every disease in the world but its not likley to happen is it? I just have to sort myself out.

I'm not currently on medication (dont want to be) but have been taking St Johns Wort the past 3 or 4 weeks. Doesnt seem to be helping much but its more for depression. Any suggestions? Wish I could be more calm about things.

ttfn

LT

[lainey]

Hi LT

Firstly, whatever you do don't google, it will make you feel 10 times worse I can assure you.
SJW can take about 3 months to start working properly, do you take VIT B complex as well as this is very good for the nervous system too and it worked for me.
I ahve never heard of anyone having Bell's paalsy more than once so I am sure this woman was a one off.


Hope this helps


Take care

Elaine x

[halfwayhome]

It is rare to have it more than once (I did some research when my face started feeling numb as well.)
Brain tumors are rare also - I know of four people who have one/ have had one. This scares me to no end because "I thought they were supposed to be rare", but I realize that I know a LOT of people and that I just happened to get "lucky" :p
I think that's what happened with you too. You just so happened to find the person who happened to have it a bunch of times. Horrible luck, but that doesn't mean you'll get it again. And I agree - DON'T GOOGLE!

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

xoxox

[lass]

Hi, I can totally understand where you are coming from. The thing is, we talk to all sorts of people in life and mostly do not relate personally to what they are saying. Probably if I had talked to this lady, I wouldn't give it a second thought because it doesn't affect me, but because she has voiced your fears, your mind then turns it around. It's all those "what ifs" that you need to deal with, because no one will ever be able to give you 100% guarantee that something WON'T happen.

I have been talking today to my counsellor about exactly this. I feel that when something happens in my life, I should take it as a warning, that it could happen to me. So, my friend ignored a pain for a long time, then found out it was cancer (with secondaries) - therefore I cannot ignore a pain "just in case" - as though this was a warning to me. Kind of like everything that happens in my life happens for a reason. I think I think too much!

Anyway, my counsellor really believes that over the next few sessions she can help me, and she has asked me to write down all my feelings, exactly when they happen, so that we can start to challenge them.

I've had 6 sessions of counselling (fortnightly) and I feel more positive after today that I can get a grip on this. My counsellor was certainly very confident, which has given me a boost. I would suggest you maybe see your GP for some kind of therapy help if you can.

Also, if you give St Johns Wort a try and it doesn't help much, you could try 5HTP (but not the 2 together). I've been taking this supplement for about a month now and it definitely helps my mood, although obviously I still have anxieties. Also, as mentioned vitamin B complex is good. Have a look in the natural remedies section as there are lots of things that could be worth a try.

Personally, I feel supplements / medications help, but you also need to talk about your fears and maybe get some professional help to learn to cope with them.

Caroline
xx

[Humly]

Thank you all. Getting things off my chest definitely does help me. Who needs therapy when I've got you all. Cheers.

[Humly]

Just an update. I am worrying about it again. Its in the back of my mind all the time, probably because I saw the lady who has it again last week and she still has not recovered. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.

[lass]

Hi, sorry this is troubling you again. I find whenever I have any kind of stress, even nice stress like holidays, anxiety kicks in and I end up worrying about the same stuff all over again.

I can't really say anything else to help, I wish I could. Can you speak to your doctor about this and find out more information/statistics? This might help you balance your thoughts a bit.

I really hope you're feeling better soon

xx

[Under~The~Stars]

Hi LT,

I just wanted to tell you that I know someone who has had bells palsy (excuse the spelling if its wrong) and she made a full recovery. I haven't heard of anyone else having had it and I'm very health anxious so I normally find out about these things - not sure if that will help you any to know that.

Also, just wanted to say that I understand completely how you feel about worries to do with your health - I'm the exact same. I feel I probably know so much about health I could be a doctor now! ha ha!

My anxiety first started showing through problems with my stomach - I had many panic attacks due to sore stomachs (they triggered my panic attacks) I then started avoiding everywhere I had been that I had had a sore stomach e.g. cinema etc. It then all spiralled out of control, and I was terrified of being in pain or having to be rushed to hospital that I would do anything to prevent this. My life changed so much. The thing I didn't realise was that the sore stomach had probably been due to anxiety, but worrying about it made the anxiety worse, therefore making the symptoms worse and causing other symptoms. It's a vicious circle.

Once you understand why panic happens and why we obsess about our health it becomes less of a battle - time and support is the key.

Feel free to send me a message anytime and we can try and support each other. Take care, try not to worry (I know its easier said than done - had first hand experience of it).

Things can only get better ;)

Louise xxx