Coping with bad news

[Goldfinch]

Hi all,

I was able to come off Cipralex this year as life was more stable and settled and I felt I could handle things quite well. Last week a close friend told me that she has been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. I feel such grief and compassion for her and her family and want to stay strong for her, but it has brought my anxiety back to some extent and I find myself crying at odd moments and feeling that the world is a bleak place. Since grief and tragedy happen in all our lives, how do you all cope and keep on an even keel?

[hatsunemiku]

Hiya I'm sorry to hear that but I think it's important that you have noticed the beginning of a step back in your recovery
I'd recommend that you go to the doctors and ask them for help BEFORE it gets worse, this is going to be an on going problem but with counselling or antidepressants then you are more likely to cope
Don't be embarrased to ask for help when it is not you with alzheimers, it is a disease that is JUST as hard (if not sometimes harder) for the family and friends as well as the sufferer.
Good luck :)

[swgrl09]

I came off the same medication about a month or so ago. I have found that I almost have forgotten what it's like to react to things like this. I find myself running my reactions by my husband to see if they are normal or not. Does that make sense?

Anyway, reading what you wrote, I think your reaction is perfectly normal even for somebody without anxiety or depression. Early-onset alzheimer's is a scary thing and it actually would be abnormal for you to not react the way you are reacting.

The important thing is to not push those feelings away, but accept them. Allow yourself to feel them so that they don't all overwhelm you at once at a later time. I agree that having a counselor to talk to is very helpful just to help you navigate these waters in the coming years and be supportive. There were times when my mom was sick where I wanted to be strong for my family but had nobody to support me, so I think having a counselor would be good so that you feel like somebody has your back too.

For me, once I came off meds, it was scary feeling some of those feelings again. I don't know if you have experienced the same. But the first time I really felt panicky after I got off the meds, I was so afraid that I was hopeless. But I am learning to accept those feelings and work through them now.

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I hope you find support for yourself through this and try not to be hard on yourself for feeling these feelings that actually are quite normal. :bighug1:

[Goldfinch]

Hi swgrl09,

Yes, I am still finding my emotions are quite raw. I found Cipralex took the edge of emotions at both ends of the scale, so I didn't get very excited about anything either. When I stopped taking the meds I wondered whether life had always been such a roller-coaster or if it was some kind of rebound effect.

[Tessar]

For me, I firmly believe That grief and feelings of sadness are a reflection of how much a person means to us. Your reaction is totally understandable. I relate to feelings of the world being a bleak place or perhaps randomly crying. Some of it is that when your mind is busy doing things, you aren't mindful of the loss or the bad news. Then, it does catch you out because in quieter moments your mind drifts back to the sadness you are feeling.
In some respects, anxiety a d grief probably are similar so what might be happening is that you are feeling compassion and sadness bit in your body this is reflecting the feelings of anxiety you've experienced previously.
Although your current feelings will remind you of how bad it felt before, you do find ways of dealing with sadness. One way indeed is to carry on as normal. Many people wonder how folk can do that when they are bereaved for instance. But an element of normality is good for you. Routine for instance.
But alongside that, give yourself time to take the news in. It is a totally natural reaction. When it is unexpected it will throw you. Tears and allowing yourself to be sad are part of the process too. Best to literally go with the flow. Many a time I have tried to "keep it all n" & I have learned now that's the last thing I need to do. Yes, I need to retain my compose when I am at work for instance but at the same time, like everyone else I a a human being, and so are you. human have feelings & sad ones are just as normal as happy ones. So I hope you are able to find a balance.
Also I am sorry that your friend has received this diagnosis. It must be very hard since it will mean changes in her life. For certain though she will be very glad to have your friendship. From the way you talk about her and your feelings for her, she really will value your support. Sometimes though we would rather not be in a situation such as this, just simply being there for someone is so rewarding. Sometimes you don't have to say or do the right thing. Best just to be yourself & allow your friendship to flow as it normally would.
Big hugs to you.