UKmamainUS
30-04-14, 21:45
Well, am I glad to find this site. I develops anxiety not long after my DD was born six years a to. Then four years ago I got pregnant with my son and during that pregnancy my anxiety got out of control. Everything makes me anxious - I spent time in DC and was scared of bombs in the metro, nuclear attacks on the government while I was there, I'm scared of drought (I'm in colorado) and war. I'm scared of the end of the world and Armageddon. Oh, and airplanes - I cry from take off to landing but unfortunately travel is a large part of my life. All this sounds hilarious when it's all written down like this, but I have to live with it day in and day out, whilst also functioning like a regular human being and raising my kids. Worst of all is my health anxiety. I over analyze EVERY lump, bump, pain, rash, itch, etc, and convince myself I am going to die. I panic about what will happen to my kids when I die and think about how they will have to wake up every morning and I won't be there. I have been to the ER for chest pains/suspected heart attack, which my therapist told me is very common in anxiety patients. I found that strangely reassuring.
In the course of this I have found that I am both dairy and gluten intolerant, and removing them from my body has helped a lot with depression and some of the symptoms I over analysed (I have been tested for MS many times now but going gluten free reduced or eliminated almost all symptoms), so that's something. I also tried CBT but due to the circumstances of my life (no family nearby and a husband who works out of town) it got impossible to keep going to regular appointments. It really doesn't help if you have to wait a couple of months between sessions.
Only my closest friends and husband know about this - none of my family or more casual friends have a clue, so I think I'm doing a great job of pretending I'm ok, but it kind of makes it more isolating, pretending to be well when most of the time I wish I could just crawl into bed and stay there forever.
In the course of this I have found that I am both dairy and gluten intolerant, and removing them from my body has helped a lot with depression and some of the symptoms I over analysed (I have been tested for MS many times now but going gluten free reduced or eliminated almost all symptoms), so that's something. I also tried CBT but due to the circumstances of my life (no family nearby and a husband who works out of town) it got impossible to keep going to regular appointments. It really doesn't help if you have to wait a couple of months between sessions.
Only my closest friends and husband know about this - none of my family or more casual friends have a clue, so I think I'm doing a great job of pretending I'm ok, but it kind of makes it more isolating, pretending to be well when most of the time I wish I could just crawl into bed and stay there forever.