Really bad day, tearful and jittery

[sandie]

Hello everyone

I'm really tearful again today, jittery too. Normally I gain some solace from the website, but I feel really down today.

I know its probably to do with being so tired; I took a sleeping tab last night (as with other nights) but still only managed 4 hours. I feel so exhausted and unable to cope. I won't do it, but I really feel it would be so easy to reach for the whole packet and just sleep forever. I know it sounds so dramatic, but I am so so tired. Can't get rid of the tightness in my chest today either - my rescue remedy seems to be struggling.

I've got to get into the car in a short while and travel for 4 hours to visit my elderly mother. My husband is driving (I couldn't possibly - it would be far too dangerous). Its going to be a trial - Ive got meetings with her social worker and staff at the sheltered scheme where she lives. The burden of her and her problems with all that we're going through at the moment is just all too much.

I wish I could sleep - I'm sure it would make it easier to cope with the days.

I'm sorry this seems like such a ramble and odd collection of thoughts but I'm really muddled.

Sandie

[lainey]

Hi Sandie

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and jittery today, lack of sleep has obviously affected you and not made better by having all the stress of sorting your mum out.
I hope you feel better soon and have a safe journey.

Just a little tip, I used to put lavender oil on my pulse points and temples,and it really used to help when I was feeling jittery. I bought the tisserand one with a rollor ball end and always kept it in my handbag along with a sports cap bottle of water, I don't know why but having to suck the water out used to help calm me down(I'm not really strange honest lol)

Take care

Hope this helps

Elaine x

[sandie]

Thank you Elaine

I'll put my lavendar oil in my bag. I use it on my pillow at night - but hadn't thought to put it on pulse points.

I'm sure its exhaustion, but I do feel dreadful - I'm dreading the next 3 days, although the activity will distract from the panic attacks. Who knows maybe I'll get so exhausted I'll even sleep.

The whole suicide things is new to me - only really felt like it in the last couple of months. Each time its only a fleeting thought, but its there nevertheless. I have talked about it to a friend, and even mentioned it to my husband. I know I won't do it - but I can see how easy it is when you feel so dreadful, tired and tearful. I'm certain if I could sleep for a straight 6 hours or so on a couple of nights I'd feel better.

Life just feels very painful at the moment.

Sandie

[yorkylover]

Hi sandie,sorry to hear your so down pet.I totally agree with Lainey,lavender is brilliant.Being tired does make us feel awfull.I used to have sleeping pills,they made me like a zombie the next day.
I now have a cup of horlicks and I read for a little while,to wind down.It does help.

Ellen XX

[airwolf451]

hey sandie

dont worry huni i know how you feel all too well, and you should listen to elaine , water is great, i keep mine warm as i find it helps relax me

just a yip you know sleeping tabs can give you the jitters and make you feel bad the next day, try not takingthem and use the lavendar, also hot milk with ginger or a little brandy before bed time can really work.

you wiill make it through today as you do everyday. so many days i just crave peace and relaxation, sometimes it comes sometimes not, but we always make it through,

ask hubby to give you a hug, a soft kiss and hold your hand, as its very comforting when a love one is near

i promise you you will be ok , and im going to say a prayer for you right now and send a little angel to be there for you.

if you ever need me, just pm me,

dont worry and God Bless,

and as Padra Pio says

DO NOT WASTE ENERGY ON THINGS THAT GENERATE WORRY ANXIETY OR FEAR , ONLY ONE THE IS NESSECARY LIFT UP YOUR HEART AND PRAISE GOD,

i find that a great saying.

sending you BIG HUGE HUGS.

STEVE..

[sandie]

Thank you for your prayers.

Sandie

[mirry]

HI SANDIE, Just read your post and empathise how you are feeling, the suiside thoughts are (just a thought) and a thought is a thing ,,,,the difficult part is seperating yourself from it.

I bet there are many people on this site who have had or are having the same thought, the thing is ,we probally can all look back and pin point a time we felt like this.....you will too.
Its good youve told your husband and friend but I would certainly mention it to your doctor , do not worry , they see people like us day in and out and will understand where you are coming from.

Having a long relaxing bath before bed with sented candles can be very relaxing, followed by a hot cup of milk.

Also , when you get them unwanted feelings , remember to come and chat to us here for support (a problem halved and all that).

take care



mirryx

[Nel]

Sandie hon I've PM'd you - I didn't realise how bad you were feeling today.

Nel xxx

[sandie]

Thank you everyone (I've read your PM Nel). I'm still pretty tearful, but who knows maybe I'll doze in the car. I'll be checking postings on my husband's laptop whilst I'm away over the next 3 days. But please bear with me if I don't respond immediately.

Thanks for your prayers and support - maybe I'll get some sleeptonight.

Sandie

[mick]

hi Sandie
hope you feel better soon life is hard at times i know but youve got friends here who are behind you all the way thats what this site is all about take care pet
Mick

[Nel]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">hi Sandie
hope you feel better soon life is hard at times i know but youve got friends here who are behind you all the way thats what this site is all about take care pet
Mick

<div align="right">Originally posted by mick - 06 December 2006 : 18:27:29</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Nice sentiment Mick, and I totally agree.

Nel xxx

[lainey]

Hi Sandie

As Nel says your thoughts are just thoughts and that is where they will stay.
The main thing you need now is a good sleep and once you achieve that i'm sure you will feel a lot better.

You take care chuck

Elaine x

[sandie]

Hi guys

Well I'm home after my visit to mum. Stressful and tearful, but I got thru - the journey home yesterday was awful _ couldn't settle and kept fidgeting all the way back

Had a dreadful night's sleep last night. Because I know my GP is not going to give me anymore sleeping tabs, I'm trying to wean myself off (they don't work properly anyway - I only usually manage 4 hours if I'm lucky). I took Nytol for the first time and I think it might have reacted with the propanalol because it took some time to work and after only 2 hours I had a nightmare and woke up really panicky. The adrenaline panic attacks continued through the night and I kept having to use the rescue remedy until about 5.30 when enough time had elapsed since my last dose of prop and I could take another tab.

I feel absolutely exhausted today, jittery, shivery and just very low. I am so fed up with feeling so awful and I can't see a day when I'm back to normal. The shivering tends to make me tense my shoulders and neck which then becomes very stiff and painful. It's a bl***y vicious circle I can't seem to break and its really dragging my down - its gone on for so long.

I'm sorry I'm on such a downer - particularly as it seems to have gone on for so long - I just can't seem to move forward, probably because I'm so exhausted.

Sandie

[ruthb1]

hI SANDIE,

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL HUN, I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAJOR SETBACK AND FEEL AS THOUGH THERE IS NO WAY OUT FOR ME AT THE MOMENT.

I AM ALSO SLEEP DEPRIVED PROBABLY BECAUSE I HAVE RECENTLY GONE BACK ONTO MEDS AND THESE ARE DIFFERENT ONES AND THE SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A KILLER I WAKE UP ANXIOUS JITTERY TENSE FULL OF ACHES AND PAINS AND ALL I THINK ALL DAY LONG IS, IS THIS IT, IS THIS THE DAY I AM GOING TO DIE, I AM VERY FRIGHTENED AND FEEL SO ALONE AT THE MOMENT.

DONT WORRY ABOUT GOING ON HUN, WE ALL TOTALLY UNDERATND HOW YOU FEEL AND WE ARE ALL HERE FOR EACH OTHER IN TIMES LIKE THESE.


TAKE CARE HUN

RUTH X X X X

PS SORRY IF I SOUND MORBID JUST THE WAY I FEEL AT THE MOMENT

[sandie]

Hi Ruth

It's awful when youl feel this dreadful isn't it? I'm sorry that you are feeling low too - if only someone could wave a magic wand. I'm not sure if the meds I'm on are correct - whether I might perhaps be better on an Anti Dep. I was given prozac initially but no-one took the time to explain that I would get worse before I felt better, consequently I came off after about 10 days because I was bouncing off the walls. I somehow feel as though my GP is getting fed up with me - he's a young 'tough-love' kind of person. He has referred me to a CBT, but of course there's a waiting list, and I feel I need help now if I'm going to get thru this and come out whole again.

What meds are you on Ruth?

Sandie

[ruthb1]

hi sandie,

i was on mirtazapine for 18 mjonths which helped me greatly, and then i came off them on june. great up until i went on holiday in october, before i went i went to to the doctor complaining about bad PMT and she recommended prozac to me, in hignsight now i know it was the anxiety peaking again, so when i came back off holiday i started taking the prozac i have been on them now for nearly a month and with no real help, they have lifted my mood but i am sleep deprived and having the weirdest dreams, i know that these can be the side effects of the meds but i am going back next week to the docs and so see what they recommend, like you i feel as though they think oh here she is again , lets just fob her off, i have had counselling which didnt help, all she wanted was my money so that left a bad taste in my mouth and i have been on anxiety management course also, in fact i have had more therapists than an american lol

take care


ruth x