rtpu2004
03-05-14, 09:46
Hey everyone,
My first post here on this website and I'm coming here mainly to get some advice on how to deal with feeling like you're alone in the recovery stages of anxiety.
Firstly, a bit about myself. I had my first panic attack approximately 6 months ago after taking the pill. At the time, I honestly thought I was having a heart attack and was very close to heading off to the ER. However, with the help of another, I was able to get through that panic and calm down.
Since that time, I have only experienced one other panic attack (lucky me, eh?). However, I have suffered from severe, frequent and long-lasting feelings of anxiety.
After my first episode, I got on it immediately. I went to the dr and got a referral to see a psychologist, which I have been seeing throughout this. Throughout this period, I have had confidence in CBT and how it has helped me through this time. I really do believe my psych understands me and works for me.
I am currently taking no medication as I really wanted to get down to the real issues causing my anxiety, rather than band-aiding them with medication. That said, I am not against medication, rather, it just isn't for me. Particularly because of my bad experience with the pill. My brain has made the connection between taking medication and panicking. I also understand that for some, anxiety is incredibly debilitating and in such situations, it is suitable for others.
Anyway, up until a month ago, I felt like I was getting much better. I would have short periods of anxiety, but nothing that I couldn't deal with, and with a bit of mind power, I could get through it.
In the last month, I have been faced with my "best friend" essentially telling me go away and said that I had done something wrong to disrespect them but didn't care to elaborate. It was much more than a simple "go away" and I have honestly never felt so hurt by words in my entire life. This particular friend is also going through a hard time and I believe the words said were motivated by something other than me. This still leaves me with the issue of having the person I was most close to walking away from me in arguably the most toughest time of my life. I am having a very hard time coming to terms with this and it is causing me so much anxiety. I wake up stressed. My chest is tight, I have a lump in my through, racing heart etc. I feel not much relief from anxiety unless I am asleep or, hate to say it, drunk.
My other friends don't really understand how much this has affected me and make me feel like I am kicking up a fuss. I have tried a couple of times to have a genuine conversation with this friend who has walked away from me as I feel like I have many unanswered questions, only to be ignored on all occasions. It makes me feel incredibly alone. I also notice myself being very negative around my friends because I'm not really in the greatest place and I'm worried that this will make them turn away from me as well. I have brought this to their attention and they have assured me that it won't happen, but I also heard the same thing from this friend and they did end up walking away from me.
I can't seem to come to terms with this issue of my friend abandoning me. My psychologist said I need to deal with these issues one at a time and to assume "if I don't know what I have done wrong, then I haven't done anything wrong"(this particular issue is just one of many). However, I am having a hard time getting this thought in to my mind. I agree with the notion, but I can't seem to move past this situation. I know it will take time.
My question is, if anyone can relate, how did you deal with moving on from a friend who abandoned you? I've been told that time will heal the wounds, but I feel like I can't deal with feeling this way anymore and I need to get passed this immediately. Anxiety is the worst and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!
Sorry for the rant, it does make me feel better though.
Thanks :)
My first post here on this website and I'm coming here mainly to get some advice on how to deal with feeling like you're alone in the recovery stages of anxiety.
Firstly, a bit about myself. I had my first panic attack approximately 6 months ago after taking the pill. At the time, I honestly thought I was having a heart attack and was very close to heading off to the ER. However, with the help of another, I was able to get through that panic and calm down.
Since that time, I have only experienced one other panic attack (lucky me, eh?). However, I have suffered from severe, frequent and long-lasting feelings of anxiety.
After my first episode, I got on it immediately. I went to the dr and got a referral to see a psychologist, which I have been seeing throughout this. Throughout this period, I have had confidence in CBT and how it has helped me through this time. I really do believe my psych understands me and works for me.
I am currently taking no medication as I really wanted to get down to the real issues causing my anxiety, rather than band-aiding them with medication. That said, I am not against medication, rather, it just isn't for me. Particularly because of my bad experience with the pill. My brain has made the connection between taking medication and panicking. I also understand that for some, anxiety is incredibly debilitating and in such situations, it is suitable for others.
Anyway, up until a month ago, I felt like I was getting much better. I would have short periods of anxiety, but nothing that I couldn't deal with, and with a bit of mind power, I could get through it.
In the last month, I have been faced with my "best friend" essentially telling me go away and said that I had done something wrong to disrespect them but didn't care to elaborate. It was much more than a simple "go away" and I have honestly never felt so hurt by words in my entire life. This particular friend is also going through a hard time and I believe the words said were motivated by something other than me. This still leaves me with the issue of having the person I was most close to walking away from me in arguably the most toughest time of my life. I am having a very hard time coming to terms with this and it is causing me so much anxiety. I wake up stressed. My chest is tight, I have a lump in my through, racing heart etc. I feel not much relief from anxiety unless I am asleep or, hate to say it, drunk.
My other friends don't really understand how much this has affected me and make me feel like I am kicking up a fuss. I have tried a couple of times to have a genuine conversation with this friend who has walked away from me as I feel like I have many unanswered questions, only to be ignored on all occasions. It makes me feel incredibly alone. I also notice myself being very negative around my friends because I'm not really in the greatest place and I'm worried that this will make them turn away from me as well. I have brought this to their attention and they have assured me that it won't happen, but I also heard the same thing from this friend and they did end up walking away from me.
I can't seem to come to terms with this issue of my friend abandoning me. My psychologist said I need to deal with these issues one at a time and to assume "if I don't know what I have done wrong, then I haven't done anything wrong"(this particular issue is just one of many). However, I am having a hard time getting this thought in to my mind. I agree with the notion, but I can't seem to move past this situation. I know it will take time.
My question is, if anyone can relate, how did you deal with moving on from a friend who abandoned you? I've been told that time will heal the wounds, but I feel like I can't deal with feeling this way anymore and I need to get passed this immediately. Anxiety is the worst and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!
Sorry for the rant, it does make me feel better though.
Thanks :)