View Full Version : Are You Chasing a Rabbit?
On the cancer boards recently, there was a guy that had been posting about his fear of oral cancer for close to a year. His posts were not unlike many I see here and was one of the catalysts for me finding this site and learning about HA.
He had seen no less than 4 ENTs, had 2 CT scans, several scopes, an MRI and countless blood tests. With each initial diagnosis of "Rhinitis" (basically allergies) he refused to believe it as he "knew" it was something sinister.
I don't know whether or not he'll accept the diagnosis because of his HA but something his doctor said to him was brilliant.
"He said there was nothing sinister and I need to 'switch from chasing a diagnosis to learning to live with it.' He felt it might be stress related and he sees cases like this all the time.
I will have to take comfort that no diagnosis is better than getting a bad diagnosis. I'm going to try and relax more. He said 'focus your attention on something else because constantly thinking about it will only make you upset, worried and will exacerbate the problem.'"
I feel you can take a lot from the above. That's what acceptance is about. Accepting there's nothing sinister going on physically when the doctor tells you so. Accepting that it's anxiety causing your distress and choosing to treat the real issue. Learning to live with the real diagnosis as opposed to chasing a rabbit you'll never catch is key to healing from anxiety/HA.
Positive thoughts
That speaks loudly! Thank you for sharing this- puts things into perspective!
Another great post Fishmanpa ...thank you x
Hey FMP - great post. I think in many ways a useful analogy to reinforce a well trodden path on this forum.
Most people will have health worries at some point in their life, yet most people don't spend their life worrying about their health. I happen to work for the NHS and spend a lot of time talking to patients with long term conditions. I even recently ran a workshop on end of life care which as well as professionals included a host a patients with terminal diagnosis of some sort. Without exception their resolve was far greater than I would ever imagine my own to be and whilst no doubt they would have rather been in an entirely different situation they were still living in spite of the fact that they were dying.
Skippy sums this up well. To recover from HA the fear of not living has to be greater than that of dying. The former we can do a great deal about, the latter whilst we can do things that affect our chances (exercise, eat well etc) there is little else we can do to change destiny in that regard. So really it is a no brainer, but a genuine psychological battle to get to that point.
The thing is, as CP is saying, at some point, you are going to have some physical issues. It's inevitable. It's called aging ;)
The truth of the matter is, when that happens, you'll deal with it. I've seen many examples on these boards where someone actually does suffer an illness or situation in their lives and guess what? They deal with it! AND... their anxiety takes a back seat. The event ends up being the catalyst for their healing from anxiety/HA.
One of the most common issues I see here are stomach and bowel issues (you know my affinity for poo threads ~lol~). It's a real physical condition most often caused by stress/anxiety. Symptoms vary from the poops to chest pain etc., but it's not sinister. 'switch from chasing a diagnosis and learn to live with it.'
Learning to control your anxiety whether it's therapy, CBT, meds etc., and adjusting your diet will often alleviate the symptoms. I just saw a post today where someone changed a simple thing in their diet and "Presto!", the symptoms stopped. My fiance' has some stomach issues. Her doctor prescribed a PPI and put her on an elimination diet. Something she's enjoyed her whole life is now causing an issue. DAIRY! She stopped milk and cheese and within a week, her stomach improved. She had a bowl of cereal the other night and guess what? Gas... bloating... pain... So now we know.
Take control and fight back for your life. And remember, acceptance IS fighting. Yes it's hard, but the things in life that are most valuable often are difficult to reach, but damn if it's not worth the fight!
Positive thoughts
Thanks for these inspiring posts :)
Thanks for bumping this again, I really needed to reread this :)
Stressed32
06-05-14, 18:47
For me, I have a hard time trusting my doctors. So, if I go to a dr I have never seen, I find myself questioning their credentials and if they overlooked something. I am so bad that I have to have copies of labs etc. and look at those results myself!
For me, I have a hard time trusting my doctors. So, if I go to a dr I have never seen, I find myself questioning their credentials and if they overlooked something. I am so bad that I have to have copies of labs etc. and look at those results myself!
So if you can't trust doctors, what makes you think that a forum full of HA sufferers would know any better?
Positive thoughts
Stressed32, my doc would look you in the eye and say, "Only one of us gets to be the doc!" And if I insulted his intelligence any further, he would show me the door ... Now, where I live there are only a few competent doctors, so, given that I can't do self-diagnosis that would get me anywhere, write my own prescriptions, and order my own tests ... that role has to be his, not mine, lol! And he makes it clear he doesn't need the patients' "help", by bellowing "I don't NEED your HELP! I have been to MEDICAL SCHOOL!' ... He has a point. If I can't trust him, then why bother going to see him?
Have a think about why it is that you aren't able to carry out these physician-only privileges. I think it's great that you have enough understanding to read your own results. Smart cookie. Me too, sometimes. It's all the stuff I DON'T know that would kill me! ... And that's why I am the patient, and he is the doctor. Until I am sitting on his side of the desk, that's the way it should be. :winks:
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