I'm back........after a long time.....

[ScaredCaz]

Hi Guys

Not been here for a long long time kind of resigned myself to living with my anxiety for ever more,this weekend has been quite horrible

Bit of background I have IBS have had this since my mum died 5 and a half years ago I think I have health anxiety but I am different in that I am petrified of going doctors or having any kind of tests

The reason I believe this has reared his head again is because I am now 41 years old I went to see the nurse the other week who I know can't refer me for tests to have my left ear syringed she said that now I am over 40 I am eligible for a free NHS health test which involves a blood test I am so so scared to have this done

I am scared they will find some that will require further tests and I am also very overdue my smear test that I am also too terrified to go and have done

I have told myself I am going doctors Tuesday after the bank holiday I plan on taking a urine sample and have him listen to my chest and take my blood pressure so I can mentally knock those 3 things off my list I want to be in a place where I can go docs like other people do like my husband and my sister and not worry like this it is on my mind 24/7 literally

Can anyone relate to this?

Thanks Guys :weep:

[Worried 24/7]

I completely understand. I want all the tests possible for reassurance, but then I don't really want them because I KNOW I have something terminal. It's a catch twenty two

[ScaredCaz]

Hi worried

You are right it is catch 22 sometimes I can convince myself I am ok but then I start thinking if I had these tests done I would know I'm ok......but what if. I am not :wacko: and so the anxiety feeling comes back and all the symptoms I have spent 3 months ignoring

My mother died suddenly of heart attack aged 62 :weep: my father in law passed away march 15th this year aged 65 of terminal cancer :weep:

I HAVE to go docs on Tuesday and hope and pray whoever I see is in a good mood because if I get a doctor that lacks understanding it's another reason I won't go :weep:

[Worried 24/7]

I'm sorry about the loss of your family. That can defiantly induce some health anxiety issues. How old are you? I'm 28 and my husband always tells me I'm too young to be worried allot cancer and things like that, but I always have examples ready... I'm worn out from the anxiety and its making me depressed. I've been taking new steps to try and get a handle on this beast

[ScaredCaz]

Hi worried

I am 41 I keep thinking now I am over 40 everytime I go doctors they are going to be looking for something wrong :weep:at the same time I have to do something whether I actually go doctors on Tuesday or not is anyone's guess including mine I am so tired feel very alone and very scared

:weep: