College :(

[Charlottie]

Okay erm about a month ago maybe more, we had a gas attack at college. Some idiot set off CS gas in the cantine and it had the whole college evacuated. At the time I had a panic attack.
And since then I've been really nervous.
But this week it's just got worse. Everytime I've been on my way to college and then got there I've felt so sick and almost thrown up. This is not good as I'm emetophobic already so this makes me feel worse. Yet, when I know I can go home I feel much better so I think it must be anxiety.
Today, just as I was nearing the college doors I was convinced I was going to throw up and I began to shake and almost cry. I took a few deep breaths and managed to compose myself.
But can anyone help because I'm starting to dread going to college, everytime I get there I just want to cry. :(
My chest pains/tight chest has come back with avengeance too. :(
Any advice is appreciated.

[Charlottie]

Also when I think about going to college I get like the retching feeling in my throat. It's horrible I hate it; I'm so scared of being sick. :( Even more scared of being sick at college. It's always been a phobia of mine, when I was about 6 I used to refuse to eat at school because I was terrified of being sick while I was there.

[Gemm]

Hello.
You sound like you are having a really hard time. I have been in a similar position before. I was not smart like you and wouldn't tell anyone about my feelings. You are doing the right thing asking for advice on this site. My position would have been made so much better if i had acknowledged my difficult feelings.
I hope you begin to feel better soon and try not to play the awful incident over and over in your head. Is very hard but try to keep in mind all the times you have gone through your college door and you have felt ok. Take care x

Gem

[Charlottie]

Thanks for replying <3

I don't keep replaying the gas thing in my head although, I do get very nervous before going down into the cantine and whenever I go in there I heave [ugh sorry TMI].
I just don;t know what to do :(

My chest is hurting really bad right now, feels like I can't breathe argh.

[creatrix]

Hi, Charlottie. I don't really have any advice, but maybe some relaxation techniques might help? I understand your fear about being sick at school (there was in incident in the 8th grade that resulted in me answering to the name of "bleh" for the rest of the year. I'm hoping you'll find that funny and not horrifying. 25 years later, to me it's downright hysterical, but at the time it really sucked!!!) You sound like you're doing the right things - breathing deeply, trying to compose yourself, and looking for advice. I know this is anathema to college students, but maybe you should cut out caffeine if you haven't already? Anyway, good luck to you! Keep fighting it, honey: you may not see it right now, but you're doing well!

[Charlottie]

Ahh I wimped out of going today; I couldn't face it. :(

[creatrix]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that! I know it's so hard to believe yourself even when you know you're being irrational. Is there a mental health clinic on campus? Maybe it would help to get an appointment with them so you could begin to associate college with not just the fear but also the healing process? Just a thought.

[Charlottie]

We have erm mentoring/counselling people I think.

I don't really know.

[samc100]

Hi Charlottie - find out more about the counselling offered at the college. I think the sessions are often free of charge so it is worth ago and it might help you alot. Take good care.

[Charlottie]

Bad bad BAD day at college today :(

Can a panic attack consist of... (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=15550)

[samc100]

Oh poor you Charlottie - but welcome to the club as that sounds like a panic attack to me.

I get the sick feeling which seems to make the panic worse.

Can you talk to anyone about this parents/college/Dr? Obviously we are all here with help, tissues and hugs but if you are wanting to look at treatments they'd be able to find out stuff in your area.

How are you feeling now?

[Charlottie]

My mom and dad just tell me to stop worrying or that I'm a hypochondriac so they don't understand.

I think I'm going to the doctors soon if I can get my boyfriend to come with me which he said he will as I'm terrified of them. My dr. said go back if I'm still worried about my chest hurting so I'll tell him all this.

Right now, I feel hot inside my chest, like the back of my throat feels hot as well, it's really weird and uncomfortable.

[samc100]

Good on you for planning to see the Dr and for recognising you are struggling ( I was in denial for ages!).

Tell the Dr everything. You could write it down before you go so you don't forget anything.

[Charlottie]

Hmm I could do :(

I just wouldn't know what to say.Plus are people allowed to come with us into our appointment cause I don't think I can sit there on my own. o.O

[samc100]

Yes your boyfriend can go with you so don't worry about that. I took my other half in with me once so the Dr could make him see what we were dealing with.
He was like your parents and thought I'd snap out of it.

[Charlottie]

Annoying isn't it?

Thankgod my boyfriend understands; he cuddles me when my chest hurts and helps me relax and tells me he loves me and stuff. He's like the only person who makes me feel better.

[samc100]

Well clone him - we could all have one!

Please try to make an appointment to see the Dr. It's not fun but it is preferable to having panic attacks and feeling remote and lonely.

[Charlottie]

Yeah that's true.
I'll try get one, hmm I don't have a day off soon, I got college till Friday and then work all next week :|

[sim_1331]

Hi Charlottie, sounds to me like you have what is called post-traumatic stress disorder. This means that you have bad thoughts and feelings about going to a place or thinking about a place that you had a bad experience in...i dont know much about it but ive seen info about it on websites ive been on to do with anxiety and stress, i dont have any web addresses or anything, perhpas you can google post traumatic stress disorder and see what you come up with.....

I hope you start to feel a lot better about going to college....good luck darl. :)

SIM

[Charlottie]

Well it's definitely college making me ill since I broke up Friday afternoon and since then I have not felt sick once.