Feeling so low this morning.

[xrachykinsx]

I feel absolutely awful today. It's deffo hormone related but that doesn't make it any easier. I shouldn't be feeling like this 4months into medication. I never got like this before. I've spent the last 20mins curled up on my bed crying. I'm so angry, I thought I was getting better. I'm really considering coming off my tablets now as I don't really know what they are doing!!!

[Oosh]

Hang in there rachy. Stick some tunes on to lift your mood a bit.

You've obviously got some questions there about the suitability of your a.d and how much your hormones are impacting on your moods. Have you told all this to your doc ?

[I'mdave27]

That's the thing about 'thinking you are getting better' your mind can trick you into believing such thoughts , some spiritual people call it the ego. If our minds/thoughts can get us into such a mess in the first place then it can definitely trick us into believing we are getting better but what is getting better , how do you define it ?

---------- Post added at 10:45 ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 ----------

PM if you want cause I have felt like my pills have stopped working recently

[xrachykinsx]

No I hadn't really made a big thing about it before but I'm starting to recognise the patterns for when I go bad and it makes sense now. I partly wonder if I'm noticing and its affecting me more because I'm more sensitised to the feelings now. I just feel really teary and sad. My hubby is at work today and I really need some company to cheer me up. I don't really want to switch meds if doctor suggests it as start a new job on 12th. I guess I'm going to plod on as I do for now but I'm starting to feel really angry at myself xx

[I'mdave27]

I've been thinking about coming off medication for a few weeks now but I know I'm better on them , as my fiancé keeps telling me. What is it with me wanting to do the wrong thing all the time ? Lol I say just wait it out because I have off days and on days like yesterday I had a really bad day I never want to experience that again BUT just because I want that it doesn't necessarily mean I'll get what I want , it doesn't work that way. I have just learnt to accept the bad times as well as the good times when I'm anxious I talk to myself to pump myself up

[Oosh]

There's no need to feel angry with yourself. These things are there to be noticed and fixed. You deserve a medal for what you've achieved so far and you're still pushing forward.

Hormones rise and fall and so do moods. Do something to cheer yourself up. It'll pass.

Use the chatroom. I'm sure people will be in throughout the day.

[xrachykinsx]

Dave, I had made good progress and learnt to accept. Like o say my hormones are being a bit dodgey (going to get them checked out) as that's the only reason I have days like this now. I was much improved in the last month or so...even got myself a new job. Im just finding being a woman...is stopping me from really getting over it all. I'm going to try get my mum to take me shopping....maybe some bank holiday retail therapy would help xxxx

[I'mdave27]

Ha ha I feel like a woman at times lol retail therapy always works for me even though it's a quick fix , nothing wrong in that , it's better then being sad. I wouldn't like to be a woman not with all those hormones it would drive me nuts lol it's hard enough being a man lol x

[xrachykinsx]

I've always been very hormonal since a teenager but it was only by being irritable and bitchy...I never suffered just those around me! Lol since having my son and then this breakdown last October. My hormones possibly play the biggest part in my mood and anxiety. I never got anxious or depressed before. Starting to wonder if my hormones are out of balance. Will ask doctor xx

[I'mdave27]

My fiances sister has had a few problems with anxiety and depression after having her kids. She had them young so I'm guessing that played a big part in the way she felt , not saying it's wrong to have kids early , she used to feel isolated and out of touch with people her own age. However , you are a different person so yes you could go to the doctors just make sure they listen as mine only has selective hearing lol x

[xrachykinsx]

Having my son young has deffo played a part in my breakdown, but more because he's been very challenging and potentially special needs. Yeah its isolating being a mummy but it can be regardless of age. My anxiety was due to a whole selection of stresses. I was too used to'just getting on with it'...I was bound to explode sooner or later but the trigger that set this bout off was a viral infection... And have been trying to get back to bubbly, love life rachy ever since xx

[I'mdave27]

I don't think there is such thing as going back to the old person you once was. I've tried countless of times to get back to who I once was , obviously have failed , but if I'm a 100% honest with myself I don't think I've ever been any different. I'm just more aware of it now. So I kind of think that I've gone through this , or going through this , as a catalyst for awakening myself to the kind of harmful life I was living before all of this. I was dead before I got anxiety and depression but like I say I think I've had it all my life I've just recently woken up to be aware I have it , make sense ? Previous to realising I have these two annoying conditions I used to drink everyday , take drugs occasionally but when I look back at it now I realise it was because I was dead I was trying to numb myself through fear of what I was feeling. . .

[xrachykinsx]

Another bad morning! I've booked a docs appointment and managed to get in for this Thursday. My anxiety sometimes feels like excitement...like jittery inside. I also sometimes struggle to work out if its depression or anxiety. I think if I have low mood...it sets off my anxiety and that's why I'm not doing very well with my hormones. I HATE being a woman!! Grrrr

[aprilmoon]

Glad you managed to get an appt for Thurs.Sorry youre having this Rachey.
Hopefully be can suggest something.
I think when you've been through a bad spell,like we both have,getting back to normality again can take quite a while.
I feel sometimes like I've been on a journey somewhere,and have returned!,which is a bit true really. Hang on hun xx

[xrachykinsx]

Oh I'm hanging on babe. You just have times where you feel drained and tired from the 'journey' I'm just hopeful that there's a good explanation for why I go bad around ovulation and leading up to my due on day...which is never on time, so its like I never know when the mood will pick up. Start work next Monday. Hoping that will be good for me :) xx

[Oosh]

Remember seeing this a while back. I know youre already on an a.d but i suppose its a relevant story and might give you a bit of insight.

http://www.theguardian.com/science/2010/sep/17/low-dose-prozac-pms

[I'mdave27]

I sometimes feel like I'm on edge it's almost like I'm agitated and you best stay away from me or else I'll snap. I've had it for years but it does seem to of calmed down now that I'm getting older , which makes me happy , but there are days where I still feel like it and it's not the best feeling in the world. I think it's part of me having an anger problem but sometimes I get proper over excited about the smallest thing and find it really hard to calm down it's annoying , very irritating.

[aprilmoon]

I think it will be really good for you Rachy,in lots of ways.
Looking forward to hearing about it when you do.
I'll pray for you.xx

[xrachykinsx]

Thanks Oosh. Interesting read. I'm on mirtazapine at the mo as it helps my sleep. I would have been quite happy to try an SSRI type if I didn't get the insomnia that goes with it as that's what I freak out about. Hopefully the doctor can run some tests on me and/or suggest going on the pill to see if it possibly helps (not convinced about that one though)

I get irritable easily too dave, but that is just because I'm so focused on trying to be we'll so I'm easily annoyed by hubby or my little boy. Its better now though as I take vitamins for women's health lol

Thanks April :) hope you're doing okay at the moment xx

[I'mdave27]

Vita woman ? Lol I was going to try the mans one but not sure if I can take it with sertraline ? I'd stay away from prozac horrible , horrible stuff. Plus it contains fluoride !

[Rennie1989]

Tap water contains fluoride too ;)

[I'mdave27]

Which is why I don't drink tap water :-)

[xrachykinsx]

Different meds suit different people. Lots of people get on fine with prozac. Even my mum. I just don't like the insomnia that goes alongside start up effects. Fluoride is on lots of things dave. If there is anything in prozac that's no good, I'm sure there's worse than fluoride! Lol xx

[I'mdave27]

Fluoride is in lots of things but I choose to avoid it for personal reasons. Prozac made me feel like an emotionless zombie