New to NMP, will it ever end?

[ragdoll_uk_98]

Hi everyone, am new today! Feeling stuck in the same daily rutt as every other! Am 33 years young, and have suffered with depression and anxiety from a young age. But this time is so different!!! My dad passed away last august, no illness, no signs... Polishing his car and his heart stopped. And this seems to be where my downfall started. Anxiety like never before and a total fear of dying. It has over taken every aspect of my life. I'm scared of dying in the car, on the stairs, while watching television, who will find me, how will I die, when.... Questions over and over. I'm on antidepressants and propranolol, but this is not depression, I know that one all too well. The propranolol has stopped the racing heart but the racing thoughts.... Some days it's all I think about, then that's when my breathing changes, trembles, lump in my throat, scared to be on own... Am currently having phone calls from mental health team but there must be something else I can do???

[Chessgirl]

Hi, This sounds like me.
I really recommend CBT. Your GP should be able to put you in touch with a therapist.
Good luck

[Annie0904]

Hi welcome to NMP. Really sorry to hear about your Dad, that must have been a big shock to you :(. Good to hear you are having support from the mental health team but maybe something like grief counselling may help you too? Might be worth speaking to your doctor about it.

[ragdoll_uk_98]

I have been offered cbt and am currently on the waiting list which is approx 18wks, so hopefully not too much longer. I've read many times that medication and therapy done together is not as successful as having either one or the other. I would love to go to the doctor and ask him to run every blood test, scan, any other test on me to make sure I'm not going to drop dead any time soon, but even my mental health worker has said unfortunately death is a guarantee and no matter what anyone says it will come to us all. I have been given a number for bereavement counselling but not sure if I'm ready to deal with my loss just yet. X

[Annie0904]

Your last sentence there says a lot "not ready to deal with my loss yet" Not an easy thing to do but the sooner you can get help to deal with it the easier it will be to handle your emotions and thoughts. Sending you hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs: