Fighting again

[Hypo]

I haven't been here for a while. I have a new job and things have been going pretty well and apart from a few niggly thoughts here and there I have been on top of my HA.

I can feel myself slipping again though. For those who don't know my ex husband (father to three of my children) died of cancer almost 5 months ago. Recently his widow has got into a new relationship and this has caused mixed feelings and then my children found out their granddad is dying of cancer too so as you can imagine it has been emotionally strained here.

My husband's depression has also been very bad so I have had a lot going on and emotional stress is my main trigger.

I was feeling a little shaky but then I started to read a fiction book, I had no idea this book was going to be about someone dying of cancer until I got about 80% through. He died of skin cancer. So for the last few days I have been worrying about my moles that my husband says haven't changed since I last got my GP to check.

I basically would love some tips on ways of nipping this in the bud before it goes too far again. I just had a really depressing thought about dying and leaving my kids behind. I don't want to go there again.

I have been trying to distract myself and also not checking myself. I have a GP appointment in a weeks time so I am not going to check but then mention my worries when I am there if I still feel the need to.

I can't let it get the better of me again. I need to be strong right now so I am just asking for some tips or maybe just some encouragement.

[NotCool]

Remember that cancer is relatively rare.

You're experiencing these so called "hypochondrical signs", which means, that you feel completely surrouned with the disease (cancer), because you keep seeing "clues" in your book and because 2 close people have gotten sick. It's like a person worrying about a brain tumor, then seeing an internet article on one of the news site about it the next day, or hearing the news about someone dying over it - it creates the impression that it's more spread than it actually is, but the person suffering from health anxiety will immediately take it as a sign, some kind of a horrible premonition, a prohpecy.

But it's not. It's just a BS coincidence. People die from many different reasons, so don't let that make you spiral in panic.

[swgrl09]

I know how you feel. I wish I had great advice, all I can say though is that I relate. Because of losing my mom, grandpa, and a close family friend to cancer, I get triggered easily when the topic comes up. I try to just go easy on myself (which is very hard for me) and say, no wonder I am worried about this considering what has happened in my life. If I do that instead of fighting it, sometimes it calms down a little bit ...

[Gemmal]

Hi hypo.

So sorry to hear your going through this , I know for me personally the slightest mention of cancer sets me off !

I went through a skin cancer scare last year and downloaded an app that photographs your moles and tells you how risky they are , it also let's you store the pictures so you can keep track of any changes ! I found it very helpful yet addicting as I was snapping away every five minutes !

If you went to see your gp and your moles were fine and your husband says they haven't changed much then I think your fine ! I think skin cancer is noticeable even to those lucky non hypochondriacs out there .

Hope this helps and your feeling better !

Gemma x

[Hypo]

Thank you everyone.

Unfortunately my husband has a serious bipolar 'episode' so we have the crisis team in and out so I have not had much time to worry about me.

[swgrl09]

Thinking of you :hugs: