Introduction and straight into things!

[Tornup]

Hi All!

First of all, Im Tom, 26 Years old.

My anxiety.... Well at first I thought it was IBS! It wasn't that bad, but then as time went on, I kept feeling like I needed the loo, and panicking a little bit because i desperately needed to go.

then it progressively got worst, where id panic about going out in case I needed the loo and there wasn't one, this feeling was not just a bad thought, but was also from some bad experiences (all close calls Luckily)

When I did go to the loo, I suffered from bad diarrhoea, so I went to the doctors explaining the IBS, she said try some some IBS remedy etc..

Then i started discussing my symptoms with my friend at work, who suffers from anxiety and i started to think and feel like maybe, im getting anxious, and the this "mind->Gut connection" is causing all of this...

went back to the doctors and he has prescribed me Amitriptyline Which I am now on 50mg...

I am still feeling anxious, i tell myself I am OK, but for example, my partner wants to take our kids to the fair tonight nice and close, little walk away, yet ever since she has mentioned it, I have been stewing and getting a little anxious about it... I have wished it would rain all day today, and thought of any excuse not to have to go!!! I don't think I can go! she's pretty understanding, but finds it hard how last year we went to the fair fine! but this year it is such a big thing for me to-do....what I understand i guess! :(, but that leads to these thoughts about how she might leave (i know deep down she won't, and when I explain how i feel she understands and reassures me it won't happen!) and that causes me to get into a right flap! :(

I just feel guilty that she has told our kids we will take them to the fair(because last year was fine so why wouldnt this year!?). Do I just force myself into going? pull through on the anxious feelings (tummy cramps, feeling I really need to poo, lump in my chest) and not let them control my life, although I'm seriously concerned about lack of toilets at the fair!!!

TBH, I don't really know where to go from here, I was hoping these tablets were going to be some sort of magical fix! yet i still feel anxious... or do I think I am, and I'm just not "forcing" myself to go out more? should I increase my dose? go back to the doctors and say its not working, or do i need to try harder to make it work?

i feel so lost, and its ruining my experiences, Iv not taken my kids out to-do something really fun in ages! :(

thanks all!

T.

[swgrl09]

How long have you been on the medication? It can take a few weeks to a couple months to really kick in sometimes.

Have you had therapy? CBT might be helpful. Search for CBT4Panic on here, it is a free online CBT program that is really useful. Panic won't kill you and if you go to the fair and start to panic, it will pass. I know it feels really awful, but it does pass.

[AlexandriaUK]

I would go they have loos at fairs and If you don't go will you feel guilty

[Tornup]

Thanks for all your reply.

Iv been on the medication for about a month / Month and a half...

No, I haven't done any form of CBT yet...

We didn't go to the fair in the end anyway because it was raining(luckily)

I understand how I need to go out, but its SOOOO hard sometimes to get myself to go! i really have to force myself..

That being said, the places which cause me to panic when i go out with my family are perfectly fine when I go by myself... It actually makes me feel ill thinking about walking from my house to town, getting on a bus and going to the next town with my kids+Partner.... yet i do that twice a day for work!?

I'm totally new to this whole Anxiety thing! is there usually a trigger which causes anxiety to flair up?

Thing is, as soon as I got home, and my partner confirmed we were not going out because of the rain, all worry/anxiety just fell away, and i was all calm and happy again!

but on the other hand, I keep thinking about the holiday we went on last year, where we booked an excursion to a zoo, and my anxiety went mental, and I was panicking, and when I was on the coach and it stop at another hotel I had to run into the random hotel iv never been in and use their toilet, and I sat there on the toilet thinking my family are on a coach outside, in a country we don't know. honestly, thinking about it now I can feel my tummy tightening up and I'm getting a bit shaky!

When its here, its quite bad and I get really panicky but 80% of the time, when at home, or by myself at work or something i am fine!

and if im really distracted, and don't have time to think about my anxiety and and needing the toilet, i am fine also! but the moment i think about my anxiety or try to think about "Don't think about your belly!" then it kicks in!

sometimes counting the seconds of breathing intake -> hold -> release helps..

i just feel lost with it all! :(

help!?

T.