Hoping I'm not the only one

[Jen1989]

Hi everyone :)

I have just joined this forum and hoping to share some experiences. About 4 years ago now I had my dream job that I had worked for all my life. I was living away from home and one day I got up and everything was spinning. I was regularly on aeroplanes as I was a performer so I put it down to the air pressure as I was a frequent flyer. That was the beginning.....

Over the last 4 years my symptoms have gotten much much worse to the point that I can barely leave the house. I have had to stop performing and can only manage to teach for a few hours at night. I am constantly lightheaded with vertigo attacks along with severe breathlessness. I have been told many different things by doctors and if I'm honest have lost complete faith in them. I have been told my problem is migraines, then blood pressure, then a sinus infection, then an inner ear problem, then an iron deficiency and now they are saying I have anxiety (no wonder huh?!)

I was put on citalopram with 2mg Valium for the side effects. I didn't take the Valium as I didn't want to end up with an addiction on top of everything else. The citalopram did help in making me a bit happier however it didn't do much for my symptoms (light headed, dizzy and breathless) so I decided it probably wasn't for me. I then got referred to see a councillor which I went along to. I spoke with the mental health professional for an hour for her to tell me she doesn't think my problem is mental!!?? But rather a physical problem.

As you can probably tell my head is totally mashed and I'm feeling realy down :( basically I just wanted to ask does anyone else have these issues on a daily basis from anxiety? I struggle to believe that my thoughts are causing me to feel this way.

My main ones are: lightheaded (constant) dizzy spells, exhausted, breathless, palpitations

Sorry for the long rant lol xXx

[Cretinetta]

hi Jen! I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. Lightheadness, dizzy spell, heart palpitations are every day quests for me. Worst of all is racing heart, can't even sleep, because I feel like there is a train passing under my pillow :-D Like you, I prefer to stay at home. Cause I'm afraid to have panic attack when I'm middle of people. P's. Excuse my bad English.

[Jen1989]

Thanks for your reply :)

It is absolutely horrible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm like that in public also. Anywhere that has bright lights with lots of people and straight away my symptoms get worse. My palpitations I can manage to stop most of the time by jolting my stomach ( the way you would if you sneeze) but I never get relief from the lightheadedness :(

How long have you suffered from anxiety?

Lots of love xXx

[ragdoll_uk_98]

Hi Jen1989, has anyone ever told you about propranolol? I take these to ease my anxiety symptoms. They don't take the anxiety away and I have to deal with those but the symptoms took over my everyday life. Heart racing, dizziness, room spinning and the bright lights.... I get this too. I was on citalopram for about three years but felt that they weren't having the same effect so now take mirtazipine, I was also prescribed diazepam but for the same reasons as yourself I decided not to take these as was worried about becoming addicted.

[Cretinetta]

I started do suffer 4 years ago. Then I got better thanks to my family who were very supportive. Last year my best friend died of ovarian cancer. From that day the hell started. I haven't had even one normal day since. So afraid of having some kind of cancer. I don't talk to my family anymore of my mental issue. Cause I don't want to make them worry. I live 3000 km from them. Worst of all is being alone with all these horrible problems. Because once I did explain to one of my ex friends of how I feel. She started to ignore me after this. I just stay alone, with all this mess in my brain. Lately I got new symptom... Forgetting things. Never happened before :-( does it happen with you too? It's really nice to know that I'm not the only one. I really hope you can find serenity. Because living with constant fear is so destructive.

[Jen1989]

Hi ragdoll :)

I was prescribed propranolol a few years back when my doctor thought I was suffering from migraines although I didn't take them very long (I later found out my headaches were from being prescribed high doses of codiene which was apparently to help) so I still have boxes of them in my cupboard. Do they help relieve your physical symptoms at all? Also do you take them all the time or just when your having a bad day? Thanks for your reply <3

Hi cretinetta :)

So sorry to year your having a tough time also. Memory problems are a big problem with myself also!! I think this is because we already have so much going through our brains that we don't take some things in. Do you have a partner you could talk to? I know what you mean about not wanting to worry people as I'm exactly the same. I have always tried to deal with things alone and don't like to ask for help. I have a few close friends and my partner who I can talk to about it but unless someone has went through it themselves I feel like they don't understand. Have you saw your doctor also? <3

[Cretinetta]

Hi Jen! I have fantastic fiance, but I don't want to talk about my problems with him. Every time I try, he says that I'm over thinking and that I'm pessimistic. He listenes of what I have to say, and same time he's looking football or who knows what. So it seems that he's not much interested of what I have to say. You are right Jen, it's much easier to talk with people who suffer about same problems. My doc thinks it's all in my head. I've had several problem's with my health. Last time I saw my doc... I had mono, he allarmed me that I can have lymphoma cause all those enlarged lymph nodes all over my body. So I stopped consulting him. Now when I have problems I go to private doctors, I pay from my own wallet. At least they listen to what I complain, and they are more accurate. Sometimes I feel like I want to run as far as I can... Scream.... Break stuff and so on. I tried to take valium for calming me down, but I swell up. I think the hardest thing of all this is being alone with million bad thoughts in head.

[Jen1989]

I know exactly what you mean. I'm sure there are some fabulous doctors out there but I feel like if my problem had been spotted when it all started instead of palming me off with excuses that I wouldn't be as bad as I am now. Definitely!! It's horrible :( do you still manage to work? I can't work up the courage to try the Valium either. I tend to only do things that I absolutely have to because I feel like there's no point when my symptoms are just going to ruin it for me anyway. Even going to the grocerie store is a challenge as the second I leave my car I feel like I'm going to faint. I tend to run in get what I need and come straight back out

<3 xXx

[Cretinetta]

I do manage to work somehow, fortunately I'm private estethist so when I have bad bad day I simply don't take clients. Worst of all is when I have to do nail or eyelash extensions. Impossibile with shaking hands :-P as you Jen going to grocery store is total nightmare for me. As long I'm in my car doors closed, I'm ok. The moment i step out, my feet start to shake, seems like my feet are made of rubber :-D also lately I try to hide my face, hat and big sunglasses. Don't know even why I'm doing that. Like you I do things that I have to do, because leaving home is always big challenge for me. Lately I don't even to make myself pretty, make up, hair done, nice glothes and so on. Just have shower, tie my hair up and look for baggiest glothes I have. Awul situation :-( does it happens to you too?

[ragdoll_uk_98]

Hi jen1989, I was very reluctant to take the propranolol because I researched them before taking them and tried talking myself out of taking them but for me recently they have stopped all my symptoms. I still get light headed every now and then and I do still get the anxiety feeling but the tablets have kept it under control. I was prescribed them three times a day but was too scared to so take two, one am one pm, my doctor would still like me to take three but I'm happy on two! They deffo do help, and when i miss
One I can tell the difference by the afternoon, but I don't take one if I've forgotten because I then panic that maybe I didn't forget and would end up taking three.... The way out minds figure things out I suppose. I really didn't wang to take them but honestly they have been a great help x

[AlexandriaUK]

Hi what medical tests have you had so far

[Jen1989]

Thanks for all your response guys :) that's brill to know ragdoll, I'm at the point now where I will try anything to get better.... I will defo speak to my doctor about trying them again. <3

Yes cretinetta I also get days like that :( I do try make an effort with my appearance as it can lift my mood but some days it's impossible so I know exactly how you feel <3 I have days when I will do literally nothing all day.

Hi Alexandria :)

So far I've had many diff blood/urine tests, 3 ecgs on my heart, a ct scan of my head and sinuses, audiology tests, and last week I had an mri scan of my full head so I'm currently waiting on those results coming back, if nothing abnormal shows then my doctor is going to try me on another medication. I had to move doctors as prior to this I wasn't being referred for any tests..... Was just repeatedly given anti biotics, iron tablets etc.

[AlexandriaUK]

So at least you know that you don't have a brain tumour so that's great news and should still your anxiety,what about your neck, is that ok I would think so but thought I would ask

[Jen1989]

I had some tests on my neck when I was referred to the ent department.... Problems would have showed up on the ct scan also which is a relief. It's the uncertainty that drives me mad! No doctor can seem to give me a clear answer :( rubbish feeling like this xx

[Cretinetta]

Hi Jen! How are you doing today? I woke up with panic attack...... again:-( don't know even why. Today I go to doc and ask for some medicine to calm me down.