Teaching with panic attacks

[gauss101]

Hi.
I've been teaching maths for 15 years and love my job. Last year, after working too many hours, and family problems, I had a severe bout of panic attacks. So, took a few weeks off to rest and readjust my teaching schedule. Now, six months later they're back. I taught all day, at the beginning of the week and panicked all day. I know it's just a feeling to be experienced and stood my ground and it would fade away. The problem was the next morning, knowing I would have to do the same thing over and over again. My students sit their exams in five weeks and all I could see, was a long corridor of the same pointless questions, about things they should know, and feeling like death everyday. I care deeply about my students and want them to do well but can't give my best while I'm like this. Luckily, a colleague can take over the revision and that lets me free to do something positive. But what?????
As I said, I love my job and when I feel ok enjoy every second but it feels as though I may have burnt out and taught my last lesson. This scares me, as it's the one thing I do well.
Any suggestions ???????
Many thanks for reading this.

[aprilmoon]

Hi
This must be really hard for you,but I'm sure you haven't taught your last lesson.
You love your job too much for that,and that's a great incentive to finding your way through.
I know only too well how awful these things are,and how exhausting they can be.
Have you considered any meds or are you already on some?

[graham58]

Hi,

It seems to me you need something to help calm your mind down and help you relax. Have you thought of something like Tai Chi or meditation?

You might be overtired as well; I'm not a psychologist but it sounds to me like you're "running on empty" a bit there and the repetitive part of your brain is taking over because there's nothing to stop it. Maybe a good long walk in the country with a country pub at the end of it all, or on the coast, would be in order (OK, I'm not the best at taking my own advice), or a bike ride or something. so that you can put some distance between yourself and the school situation?

Best of luck anyway,

Graham .

[gauss101]

Thanks both. Yes, I've been on diazepam and citalapram for years. I've had a lot of stuff going on and lost both of my parents in the past few years.
The panic always kicks in first thing in the morning. I think you're right and that I've been running on empty for too long. Relaxing seems to consist of crashing out and sleeping. Teaching really an act and you appear to know everything. In real life you get tired of trying to appear strong and the keeper of knowledge and knower of all things.
Maybe I should analyse my work and try meditation, or something physical.

[Tanner40]

Gauss, it must be tough to maintain the facade of confidence, standing up there in front of your students, while you are having a panic attack.

When my panic was at it's worst, I began using CBT methods and practiced them on a daily basis. It really helped me a great deal to be able to take out those irrational thoughts and to replace them with rational thinking.

I also practiced meditation in the form of self guided breathing and deep relaxation videos. There are many to choose from on YouTube. Give them ago. I found that thirty minutes per day really made a huge difference in my anxiety levels.