The G of O
09-05-14, 12:52
Hello everyone.
I've decided to post to this forum, because this site has helped me the most with my Health Anxiety. Especially the subsection on Health Anxiety.
I want to share my experience, so here it goes.
At the end of February this year I've had my first ever fear of dying. Up until then I always thought about myself as being someone with a healthy self esteem, calm, fun, outgoing, nothing could wory me too much. Well, little did I know how much can change when you first experience the fear - I mean the real fear.
So, end of this February I had too much coffee. It was normal for me to drink a cup of coffee every morning for 10 years now. That unfortunate day I drank that one cup and aditionally one more when I came to work. It was some instant type of coffee, I never had before. I didn't read instructions to see the right dosage, I just mixed it as I felt it would be right and drank it. Turns out I have put like 3 times the recommended amount.
About hour and half after that I felt that strange strong rush that I kind of knew from before - from drinking coffee and not eating enough after that. However, this time, the rush just kept getting worse and worse and worse to the point I got very dizzy.
Suddenly, I remembered the traumatic experience of seeing my girlfriend's dad dying of a heart attack with me, my girlfriend and her mom trying to revive him. That was 2 years ago. I was certain I was over that and that it would not haunt me or whatever. Well, I was wrong. I started to think how I am about to have a heart attack or stroke. My heart started racing, I started sweating, felt lightheaded, dizzy, out of control.
I asked my coworker to drive me to the ER. There, the doctor did neurological test with shining the light in my eyes, I had to follow his finger, descripe what happened, what I am feeling, then he did ECG. At the end he told me that I had a panick attack, caused by caffeine, which caused me to have too little of carbon dioxide in my blood and too little potassium. I was to go home, eat bananas, drink isostar and rest. After a couple of days I went to see my personal doctor, she then took my blood pressure, measured my carbon dioxide level, listened to my breathing. We concluded, I was fine.
After that I had felt normal things of caffeine withdrawal in the next week. And after that I was back to my old self until end of April.
Even though the experience from end of February was the worst day of my entire life, I never thought I have developed Health Anxiety.
And then it happened. End of April, all of the sudden, I felt dizzy at work and something familiar from that day in February came to my mind again. I have completely stopped drinking coffee so I could not rationalize my feelings. I was now sure that some permanent damage was done to my heart or brain and that now something fatal was about to happen.
I tried to calm myself. I was almost successful, but after a couple of days something similar happened and I was scared again.
Then came the numbness in my arms, feeling of pins and needles in my arms, to make things worse, more so in my left arm, feeling I have to caugh...
Because my work is in an office and I sit a lot, I do moderate exercise at least 2 times per week. I hike 3 kilometers uphill mid tempo. I am doing this for about 2 years now. I haven't stopped, even with my fears. Even after feeling dizzy and with pins and needles in my arms I go on my hike and I come to the top with no problems. I am trying to tell my subconscious self that this should be proof enough that my heart, brain, lungs are fine and that I am not terminally damaged and I am not going to die. However, when I come home from my exercise and try to relax and I feel pins and needles again, I become very worried.
This has been going on for two weeks now and I have the following symptoms:
- Diarrhea
- Feeling of pins and needles in my arms and chest; predominantly my left side
- Occasional dizzyness
- Acid reflux
- Feeling like my chest or lungs are in a painful spasm
The worst thing about the whole thing is that I can't tell if the pain comes first or the fear does. This prevents me from persuading myself that all my symptoms come from Health Anxiety and not the other way around.
I am talking about this with my girlfriend, my friend, my family. My mom is a nurse and is trying to reassure me that my symptoms are there because of the Health Anxiety and not because of some serious health problem.
I have never been ill in my life. Just an occasional cold and once a flu and that's it. Healthy as a fish as we say here. I also have to confess that I never understood how people could have health problems that originate from your mind. Well... I do now, but it is very hard for me to accept this, because I was always so strong until that dreadful day in February.
So this is my story. Health Anxiety can hit anyone at anytime - one doesn't need to be particularly anxious person before it happens. Fear of dying, realization of mortality - I mean the true realization, with your whole being; that can make anyone anxious... It got me too. If someone told me this would happen to me before that day in February, I would have laughed... I am not laughing now.
I've decided to post to this forum, because this site has helped me the most with my Health Anxiety. Especially the subsection on Health Anxiety.
I want to share my experience, so here it goes.
At the end of February this year I've had my first ever fear of dying. Up until then I always thought about myself as being someone with a healthy self esteem, calm, fun, outgoing, nothing could wory me too much. Well, little did I know how much can change when you first experience the fear - I mean the real fear.
So, end of this February I had too much coffee. It was normal for me to drink a cup of coffee every morning for 10 years now. That unfortunate day I drank that one cup and aditionally one more when I came to work. It was some instant type of coffee, I never had before. I didn't read instructions to see the right dosage, I just mixed it as I felt it would be right and drank it. Turns out I have put like 3 times the recommended amount.
About hour and half after that I felt that strange strong rush that I kind of knew from before - from drinking coffee and not eating enough after that. However, this time, the rush just kept getting worse and worse and worse to the point I got very dizzy.
Suddenly, I remembered the traumatic experience of seeing my girlfriend's dad dying of a heart attack with me, my girlfriend and her mom trying to revive him. That was 2 years ago. I was certain I was over that and that it would not haunt me or whatever. Well, I was wrong. I started to think how I am about to have a heart attack or stroke. My heart started racing, I started sweating, felt lightheaded, dizzy, out of control.
I asked my coworker to drive me to the ER. There, the doctor did neurological test with shining the light in my eyes, I had to follow his finger, descripe what happened, what I am feeling, then he did ECG. At the end he told me that I had a panick attack, caused by caffeine, which caused me to have too little of carbon dioxide in my blood and too little potassium. I was to go home, eat bananas, drink isostar and rest. After a couple of days I went to see my personal doctor, she then took my blood pressure, measured my carbon dioxide level, listened to my breathing. We concluded, I was fine.
After that I had felt normal things of caffeine withdrawal in the next week. And after that I was back to my old self until end of April.
Even though the experience from end of February was the worst day of my entire life, I never thought I have developed Health Anxiety.
And then it happened. End of April, all of the sudden, I felt dizzy at work and something familiar from that day in February came to my mind again. I have completely stopped drinking coffee so I could not rationalize my feelings. I was now sure that some permanent damage was done to my heart or brain and that now something fatal was about to happen.
I tried to calm myself. I was almost successful, but after a couple of days something similar happened and I was scared again.
Then came the numbness in my arms, feeling of pins and needles in my arms, to make things worse, more so in my left arm, feeling I have to caugh...
Because my work is in an office and I sit a lot, I do moderate exercise at least 2 times per week. I hike 3 kilometers uphill mid tempo. I am doing this for about 2 years now. I haven't stopped, even with my fears. Even after feeling dizzy and with pins and needles in my arms I go on my hike and I come to the top with no problems. I am trying to tell my subconscious self that this should be proof enough that my heart, brain, lungs are fine and that I am not terminally damaged and I am not going to die. However, when I come home from my exercise and try to relax and I feel pins and needles again, I become very worried.
This has been going on for two weeks now and I have the following symptoms:
- Diarrhea
- Feeling of pins and needles in my arms and chest; predominantly my left side
- Occasional dizzyness
- Acid reflux
- Feeling like my chest or lungs are in a painful spasm
The worst thing about the whole thing is that I can't tell if the pain comes first or the fear does. This prevents me from persuading myself that all my symptoms come from Health Anxiety and not the other way around.
I am talking about this with my girlfriend, my friend, my family. My mom is a nurse and is trying to reassure me that my symptoms are there because of the Health Anxiety and not because of some serious health problem.
I have never been ill in my life. Just an occasional cold and once a flu and that's it. Healthy as a fish as we say here. I also have to confess that I never understood how people could have health problems that originate from your mind. Well... I do now, but it is very hard for me to accept this, because I was always so strong until that dreadful day in February.
So this is my story. Health Anxiety can hit anyone at anytime - one doesn't need to be particularly anxious person before it happens. Fear of dying, realization of mortality - I mean the true realization, with your whole being; that can make anyone anxious... It got me too. If someone told me this would happen to me before that day in February, I would have laughed... I am not laughing now.