HA for son's health is taking over

[Button1]

Hi everyone,

Some practical tips/ experience would be really appreciated...I have awful HA which I've had two lots of high dose sertraline and two rounds of CBT for. My therapist has suggested that long term psychodynamic therapy would now be most appropriate. I have my ups and downs but I'm managing my own HA ok at the moment despite the fact that I had to terminate a pregnancy at 21weeks in January because the baby had fatal abnormalities.

So that's the context...

I'm noticing that my anxiety over my sons health (he's almost 2) is taking over everything recently. Every time he has had ANYTHING for the past 6 months I've taken him to hospital. And I mean ANYTHING, coughs, colds, peeing too much pooing too little...you name it. I've barely been at work this year as although I only took a few days off after we lost the baby, if my son has had anything, even if we have alternative childcare, I get so stressed I can't go to the office. I cried almost all day yesterday because he's got a cough and tried to imagine what I'd do if he died. Then I wondered how I'd kill myself because I couldn't live without him.

So not normal and not rational. It's manageable in the short term but I can't do this forever, I won't have a job or a life and my son will only remember seeing the inside of GP surgeries and hospitals from his childhood.

So what do I do? Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Advice appreciated xxx

[Annie0904]

I had 4 miscarriages and I think it probably made me a bit overprotective of my children so I can understand how the loss of your baby would make you more anxious about your son. I never wanted to leave my children with anyone else.
I think you have accepted yourself though, that this is not rational thinking even though I think it is understandable in your circumstances.
You know yourself that coughs, colds etc are normal in young children but your fear of losing him is taking over that.
I agree with your doctor that you need the therapy to help you to deal with this. Sending you hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[cattia]

Hi Button,
I'm sorry for your loss. I can completely relate to this. My HA is more often focused on my children than myself these days. At the moment I am worried that my three year old son has some kind of development issue because of some of his behaviour. I analyse him constantly and am forever looking stuff up online to try to figure out what could be wrong with him. I honestly believe, having suffered from HA for many years, that HA about your children is worse than HA about yourself, because you are so responsible for them and love them so much, also you have the added guilt that you're passing your anxiety on to them. What you have been through will have affected you a lot and it's not surprising that your anxiety has ramped up a gear. Hopefully if you can get some support in dealing with it then your anxiety will improve Xx

[Button1]

Thanks everyone, I agree that losing the baby has alot to do with this but I've had the anxiety over my son's health almost since he was born (he had to have an operation on his tummy at Great Ormond Street when he was a few weeks old) I don't know if this sounds odd but the affect that had on me was just as profound if not more so than the loss we have just had. I still wake up at night with flashbacks from the time he was in hospital.

It's causing alot of problems with my husband as we just don't deal with this in the same way- my son is at home today as he has a bad cold and tummy bug and I've made him take him to the doctors. I left him notes on what to ask and say and he didn't do all of it and now I don't feel reassured by what he has fed back from the appointment. He just thinks I'm crazy.

I need to be in work tomorrow but I can't see how I'll manage it based on today :weep: