Has anyone got health anxiety cantering around mental health?

[HotTea]

I have always been over anxious, but until ihad a very bad episode of panic two months ago, I didn't know that's what it was. Nor did I care.

Ever since the first Panic Attack, iv did nothing but spend my time on anxiety forums, and looking for success stories.

I got prescribed pills, had a bad reaction, never took another and vowed to get better on my own.

I'm terrified of getting depression, I'm terrified of anything that won't make me, me, anymore. I'm petrified of pills, I don't even like taking paracetomal.

Only thing is now I'm left with this constant asking myself if I feel anxious, because I'm terrified of the word Disorder. I don't want an Anxiety Disorder.
I'm not actually anxious until I ask myself If I am:huh:

My anxiety peaks 10 days before my period and I think every twinge is an incurable illness.
Last night for the first time ever I woke with my heart going crazy, I didn't have a panic attack, although I was telling my body to bring one on because I wanted to get it over with and go back to sleep.

So today, obviously I'm obsessed with my heart. Iv spoken to my doctor twice who sat and listened to my heart and just old me, Karli, your heart is fine. I do now feel reassured. Until the next thing :(

Bit of a jumble. What I'm trying to say I think, other than the general cancer, heart anxiety, does anyone constantly worry about having depression and anxiety.
I just want to be carefree how I was before I ever knew about anxiety disorders!

[julia]

Yes I know how you feel ,I think it's because it's the one thing you can't see and can't just fix I'm terrified of even the word mental health

[Sabre120]

I know what you mean, I had a sort of mental breakdown after visiting a friend at university, going from my quiet countryside life to the unlimited freedom of the student life was so exciting, yet it made me depressed because it was something I didn't have. It's taken me 2 years or so, but having worked in college I'm now at university myself and much happier, but for a long time after that breakdown I had many days where I worried about my mental health and was, in hindsight severely depressed, I kept worrying about what events should make me feel happy, if I was enjoying something, such as a movie, should I be aware that I'm happy at that moment? Its hard to describe, but I endlessly questioned my mental state.

[RoseEve]

I was also terrified of having a disorder. The word seems hopeless. In the beginning it's so hard. It does get better. Now I embrace the word disorder. I say with pride that I have mild OCD, GA, and HA. With pride because I understand the problems I have and address them and live a full life. :hugs: