View Full Version : An awful day..Hospital with my Mam
I just need to write this down to get it off my chest. I woke this morning feeling anxious again and had a little cry. I got myself ready and went out to collect some of my Avon books in. I got half way round and had a phone call from my dad to say that the doctor had called an ambulance for my 83 year old Mam. I went straight over to the hospital to meet them at 10 am. They did ECG and blood tests.
While she was in A&E there was a man in the next bed and the doctor was talking to him, he was saying how he used to be a postman then all of a sudden the doctor shouted out and the man had gone into cardiac arrest. All the doctors and nurses rushed round him to try to resuscitate him. A nurse came to take us away to another room but my poor Mam was left there. The poor man died and I was so upset by it especially when I saw his poor family :(
Not long after that they moved my Mam to a ward and did more tests. They eventually let us take her home at 7pm. They gave her a GT spray and she has to go back next Monday to see a cardiologist.
One of the nurses had noticed how distressed I was seeing the man and came to talk to me. It brought back some bad memories for me which were the cause of me having PTSD. I feel exhausted and very weepy tonight. I wish I could cope with situations like this better but no matter how hard I try I always go to pieces :weep:
Well, Annie,who is to say that you didn't cope well?
I would say that you did cope.
You stuck it out when you could have run away. Is that not true?
Perhaps .....instead of forever being critical of yourself it is instead time to accept that you do cope well.
Something worth remembering is that you have been conditioned to think negatively about yourself. But you have no genuine reason at all be hard on yourself.
The critical voices are not yours. The thoughts are not yours.
They are the voices of people who were cruel and unkind to you.
Remind yourself often that being self-critical is not productive, don't waste your energy on it.
Rather there are huge personal gains to be made from working on building a more realistic, genuine & positive view of yourself. The REAL you. We recognise the real you but I appreciate it takes time & hard work to get to that view yourself. But it can be done. So.... Please stop being self-critical ya hear?
Annie, is it not time to begin thinking differently? To be true to yourself.
So.... My friend..... Accept this HUGE PAT ON THE BACK from me because you are very kind and attentive daughter. You put your families needs above thise of your own. can you see that this was brave? it meant facing the fear?
so these special :hugs: are for you and your family but especially your Mam.
:hugs: :grouphug: :hugs: :grouphug: :hugs: :grouphug: :hugs: :grouphug: :hugs: :grouphug:
Catherine S
12-05-14, 21:33
Annie, nobody would have coped with that, its got absolutely nothing to do with your reason for being on NMP so please don't beat yourself up about how you reacted...most 'normal' people would've felt exactly how you're feeling right now, that'd be stressful for anybody least of all that you were also worried about your mum. Be kind to yourself and accept that your feelings right now are normal given that situation, don't think about it too deeply and allow yourself time to get over it. Take care and hope your mum is ok.
ISB x
Thank you Tessar and I still believe, your kind words have made me tearful. Yes I guess I was brave. My parents know I don't cope with hospitals too well and kept saying that I could go if I wanted to but I stuck it out. They have both thanked me for staying with them and being there for them.
I am going to have a soak in the bath, I haven't eaten too much today and just had a little bowl of soup tonight as we were late home and I don't like to eat late. I still feel a bit shaky but most of that is because I am so tired.
It's ok to say it Annie.... Repeat after me... "I was really brave"
Can I have a sticker please? :D
MRS STRESS ED
12-05-14, 22:07
Annie you can have a brave girl sticker :D because as awful as you felt you stuck it out and you were there for your mum who needed you ,I hate hospitals but I have lived in them for the last few years so I know how bad it feels doesn't do anything for are anxiety and it must of been really awful with that poor man passing away god bless him sending you and your mum best wishes I hope she feels better soon take care Annie xx :hugs:
Thank you Mrs Stressed I have had so many bad experiences in hospital that they really freak me out. I need to train my thoughts to see them as good places that make people well.
MRS STRESS ED
12-05-14, 22:21
The thing is hospitals tells us were not well and that starts our anxiety ,but thats a good way of thinking about them Annie thanks xx
It's ok to say it Annie.... Repeat after me... "I was really brave"
C'mon.... Say it after me........ I was.....
Thank you for the hugs Kim :)
---------- Post added at 22:36 ---------- Previous post was at 22:35 ----------
C'mon.... Say it after me........ I was.....
I was VERY brave today :)
Carolclelland
12-05-14, 22:40
Well done, you done it ,stick on in there ,good for you xx
Thank you Carol, I felt rubbish with myself because I panicked all day but you have all made me feel better about it.
I'm so sorry to read about your day. Like everybody said, ANYBODY would be upset by that. I'm sorry you had to go through it :( But be proud of how you did get through it and also don't be surprised if your anxiety is up a little tomorrow too. It just makes sense if it is.
I'm so sorry to read about your day. Like everybody said, ANYBODY would be upset by that. I'm sorry you had to go through it :( But be proud of how you did get through it and also don't be surprised if your anxiety is up a little tomorrow too. It just makes sense if it is.
Yes my anxiety is up again today :(
bernie1977
13-05-14, 10:30
Sorry to hear you've had to go through that but WELL DONE on getting to the hospital in the first place and for staying. Be proud of yourself, I don't think you realise how strong you are. Two fingers up to anxiety from Annie! X
MRS STRESS ED
13-05-14, 19:07
hi Annie just wondering how is your anxiety today hope its not to bad and how is your mum hope she is on the mend xx :hugs:
My anxiety is worse today but for other reasons :( If you read my last comment on my hrt thread :( Luckily Mum is much better :)
MRS STRESS ED
13-05-14, 20:32
Sorry to hear your not so good at the moment hope you feel better soon try and have some you time pleased your mums doing better xx
I was VERY brave today :)
Well done Annie, I will b going to bed with a smile because u said it :flowers:
Annie,
I'm so glad your mum is better today.
I can really relate to your fear of hospitals (or having to 'stay put'anywhere when we are feeling extremely stressed) the feelings of flight are overwhelming!
But
You stayed.
You are such a brave lady.
You and your parents should be so proud of you because I am.
Annie, sending love from down under :hugs:
Petra xx:flowers:
Thank ypu Dally and Petra. I have to go in hospital myself for an operatio next Tuesday so hope I can be brave then :(
Just saw this thread Annie sending big :hugs:
sarah
Oh dear, it never rains but it pours! Just had news that my husbands Aunt has just died :( What an awful week this is turning out to be. I don't think we will be able to get to the funeral either as I have my operation on Tuesday. :(
Wow, you really can't win this week. I'm really sorry to hear that. Well, if you can get through this week, then you can get through anything. :hugs::hugs:
It seems never ending. Thank you for the hugs :) xx
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