soooooooooooo pissed off today

[strawberrie]

ok, for the last few days my armpit has felt a bit sore, and today i checked it (against my cbt's advice) and guess what? there's a lump there :( Well, anyway, i prodded and poked it and i KNOW it's a lymph node. I've had them before and it's exactly the same. All the facts tell me that its nothing to worry about - it hurts, its soft, it moves around, its got bigger from me poking at it. I know full well that if i went to the doctor she would take one look (or feel) and tell me what i already know - "its a lymph node". So, why do i feel so down about it?

My health anxiety is driving me potty - even when i know there's nothing wrong, i still feel miserable. I'm so fed up today with it all. Something in my brain tells me that unless my body is absolutely perfect (fat chance!) then i can't be happy [V]

anyway, PLEASE no-one tell me to go to the doctors to get it checked because i know in my heart of hearts that there's nothing wrong, and i dont need to. I just wanted to post it to get it off my chest. I'm going to have a good cry tonite and then i'll feel better.

HA is a real bugger! [}:)]

thanks for listening to me moan,

mag

[miss diagnosis]

I always get a pain in my arm pit a week or so before my period. Its hormanal apparently. Lots of my friends get exactly the same thing.
Thats probably what the pain is.As for the lump this can be caused by deoderant! no joke! or hormal changes too. So please relax even though Im hardly one to talk today!!

[juicyluce]

i have exactly the same thing - i feel i have to check mine all the time - to the point the doctor felt them for me and told me there was nothing there. it was sore skin from all the poking and prodding i was doing!

i know exactly how you are feeling xx

[strawberrie]

awww, i just replied and it didnt come up! i must have forgotten to press 'post' - what an idiot [Duh!]

anyway, thanks for your replies - it really means a lot to me to hear from people who know what we go through!

thank you :D

mag

[lass]

I've heard too that these can be caused by anti-perspirants. I now use a crystal instead (or crystal spray like Pitrok); gives me a bit of peace of mind that I'm doing all I can to prevent too many toxins!

[Humly]

I feel for you I really do. I am exactly the same. I too get down over things that anybody else would just shrug off. You know that there is really nothing to worry about but you just cant help doing it. I wish I could give you some useful advice but I am in the same boat. Hope you feel better soon. Treat yourself to something nice this weekend - chocolate always works for me.

Remember, you are not alone. We are all the same. Take care.

LT

[Piglet]

It's such a flock ;) this flippin health anxiety mate!!

I get myself in a tizzy over stuff like that too and more - I had an episode this week and almost didn't let one of my piglets walk to school even though she's 15, it's 5 mins away and there are plenty of people about.

Honestly mag I came that close to hysteria I can't tell you!! Thankfully in the very nick of time commonsense came along and I said to myself in my very very firmest inner voice STOP - ENOUGH!!!

Whenever I do this I always imagine a lollipop lady's stop sign (thats' thanks to Pips for that tip) and honestly 99% of the time this works for me.

We know damn well when we are getting a tad OTT, so I think we are almost angry because we know we arn't thinking rationally!

Now give over with it and go and make some more clocks!:D

Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Sax]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Mags))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))

bless u mags, how horrid to be feeling so down, yes you know logically it just a node or inflammed hair folicle and yes it'll go down in a few days but i'm sorry its making you feel down.

sending my love to you Mags and look forward to seeing you in chat soon, and with the new 'hair down' avatar you should be chillin out! pmsl

love u mags take care

love Sax xxx

[manmoor]

Sending you big big hugs Mags hun. I know how our health anxiety effects us when we find something. You have a good cry tonight and let us know how you feel tomorrow. xxx

Take Care

Mandyxx

[strawberrie]

well, i came home from a really sh!tty day and found all these lovely, kind messages from you lot! It's really made me feel better (that and a large vodka or two ;))

i'm just cross with myself really for being so silly and letting my HA get the better of me. Piglet, i don't think a lollipop lady would be quite firm enough with me, so i'm imagining Gordon Ramsay instead (in a lollipop lady's outfit of course) saying 'For flock's sake woman, get a grip'! [:I] (> mag daydreams a little about a very stern looking Gordon Ramsay in a uniform!;)[Sigh...])

Sax, im glad you like my new avatar hair do - my real hair looks like absolute crap at the moment! :(

anyway, thanks to everyone who replied, you've really cheered me up, and yes i will treat myself to chocolate tonight (nothing new there then).

mag

[anxious]

(((((mags))))))


I so know how you feel.

anx xx

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects

[strawberrie]

just to let you know that i just checked (:( im going to be in trouble now with my cbt), and it appears to have gone. I'm sure you could've all coped with the suspense of not knowing this ([:I]), but i just wanted to post it really as a little note to myself to say 'you knew it was nothing, its gone, so remember that next time!'

Although now i do have a nasty little voice saying 'are you sure its gone? maybe you just didnt check well enough', but i'm trying to ignore that voice and just feel happy about it:D.

thanks to everyone who took the time to reply, it really helped me.

:D mag

[gabes]

I know what you're going through. I'm not happy in the morning unless I do this full body assesment and check every area for "what's wrong today" and I'm not happy if I don't find something. I'll keep proding until soething hurts. Its the most uncontrolable urge. But I'm in therapy working on it.