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Fishmanpa
12-05-14, 23:46
I was reading some posts on the cancer forum I'm part of and wanted to share something to give you some perspective. When you're worried about a disease you don't have or possibly can get. When you're depressed because you feel trapped or depressed by your situation, come back and read this. It's an eye opener for sure.

Positive thoughts




"Howdy. I'm ****, a married male. I'm 75 today, May 10th. I'm here to offer support from a "BTDT, got the shirt" fellow (and incurable) patient.

On Monday, I go in for a CT with contrast to see how the effective the radiation to the metastatic tumors in my liver (my 4th distant Metastases) and a lymph node between the liver and my stomach (5th distant metastasis) has been. You probably know what the significance of those distant metastases is, but just so you know, that puts one in Stage IVc with a 5-year survival (from the diagnosis of any distant metastases) rate of Zero.

For what it's worth, this was not fun, but compared to getting gut-shot (I took two .32 rounds to the gut in 11/67 up in Pleiku, RVN) it was a walk in the park. One of those rounds cut my Iliac artery and I bled-out at the scene. They gave me 18 pints of whole blood and the doctor who admitted me from Triage said that there was no way to have survived that as rigor-mortis should have been LEAVING my body before he got to me!

The other round entered about 1.5" above my naval and hit my spine dead on before it ricocheted around and embedded itself in the back of L3. That bullet took out the nerve-ends of the nerves that control the muscles in the right hip, which now provides no help in balancing and I cannot rotate the hip to the outside.

A third round went directly through my right sciatic nerve and my right leg, and I have no control over any of the muscles below my right knee. My right foot simply terminates my leg, I have no control of it.
A fourth round went harmlessly through the inside of my right thigh.

I've also had my chest crushed in a high speed auto crash (145+ mph) and was brought into the Army hospital at Ft Sill, OK one year before I got shot. I had a "Flail Chest" which was definitely painful because unlike most "broken ribs," mine were so violently broken that the rib-ends were all completely separated and overlapped, shredding my right lung in the process. As a consequence, my right shoulder is about 1.5" forward and 1" down from its original location, and I have a bony ridge under my right scapula.

I got shot on the 5th of November, 1967, and after a brief hiatus in the states, I was back in Vietnam before the end of February, 1968. Before my return, I had to have my temp colostomy closed and learn to walk again.

If you would like my advice on coping with these problems (which I call "Life's footprints,") I would suggest working diligently on cultivating the "Soldier's/Survivor's attitude" with respect to the losses of function that are so depressing to you at this moment.

That attitude is taught to all new soldiers in Basic Training, but not especially identified as a "Soldier's attitude." It is summarized by the following commands:

1. Observe (the situation you are in and the factors that affect you)
2. Identify (those factors and the specifics about them)
3. Assess (your situation, the external situation and the factors affecting both)
4. Adapt (to the changes in you situation, including your present physical state) and finally the most important:
5. Overcome (any obstacles between your current state and the state you desire to be in.)

Central to the success of this is your attitude. To succeed, PROGRAM yourself. Put your doubts aside, I'm proof that it works. Give yourself a continual stream of cheerleading and tell yourself that you can and will overcome this.

There are techniques for overcoming fear, such as maintaining a neutral mind as you go to your team to learn where you stand, and what your prognosis is, but this message is about developing the Survivor's attitude which is to think, not in terms of what you have lost, but in what you have left and how you can use that to live your life happily.

That's important enough to repeat, the key is to think in terms of what you have, not what you have lost. Put that later bit completely out of your mind and do not let it reappear.

The fact is that you can do this, but only if you actually invest the time and effort to do it.

I wish you the very best and every success."

swgrl09
13-05-14, 00:02
Wow, an eye-opener indeed. Thank you.

NotCool
13-05-14, 00:51
Yep, good post. Ironically, that guy actually faced real (health) problems and didn't give in to the despair, while we and our "little" problems function in a way, that every little harmless pain and lump sends us into the HA spiral.

Fishmanpa
13-05-14, 00:57
That's the point of why I posted this. I face real health issues everyday. But even my problems (and there are many) pale in comparison to his and yet he's so positive, so upbeat and grabs life by the b@lls even when facing his demise. I admire him greatly for that attitude and can only strive to be as positive.

Positive thoughts

SADnomore
13-05-14, 04:24
Wow. Talk about soldiering on! THIS is soldiering on. I'm copying this to my desktop.
Thanks for sharing, FMP xx
Marie

anxious_thoughts
13-05-14, 05:53
Wow, an incredible read. Thank you.

HoneyLove
13-05-14, 09:42
Great post FMP, thanks for sharing it with us. Some people are just so inspiring with their mastery of their emotions.

This really follows on nicely from a discussion I was having with a friend yesterday, and she was describing how she was reading about controlling our fear. She quoted the author as saying something like in a dangerous situation the danger is real, but the fear is not. The fear is something we have invented ourselves, it's just a combination of thoughts and chemical reactions in our bodies that can be controlled.

That's easier said than done I realise, but it's food for thought. Especially here where a lot of the "danger" is actually imaginary, we are worried about things that haven't happened and may never happen.

There's a lot to be said for learning to be aware of our emotional reactions and working to stop them overwhelming us. It's a difficult practice, but once we begin to recognise what's happening in our bodies when we become anxious and panicked it's just about taking baby steps to control our thoughts around the fear and thus control the reaction in our bodies.

That's why I feel it's so important to learn a little bit about what happens in the body when we are anxious, stressed and panicked. A little knowledge about what's physically happening can empower us to learn to control our reactions.

SarahH
13-05-14, 09:49
WOW:blush:

clevername
13-05-14, 21:26
Great post!

MRS STRESS ED
13-05-14, 21:46
What a fighter now this is a man to inspire us this is a man who wants to live omg it makes me feels bad for moaning ,now if this doesn't make us sit up and think nothing will amazing post Fishmanpa thankyou xx