Brindley
13-05-14, 14:33
Hi Everybody, I have had episodes of health anxiety most my life. My last one was seven years ago. I was obsessed that i had something wrong with my heart and i was only able to get over it when my first daughter was born as my time wasn't spent thinking about myself.
Fast forward to now after being anxiety free for nearly 7 years and I have been having the worst episode of my life.
In September i noticed that one of my testicles seemed larger. I had always had 1 bigger than the other, but it felt huge. I inspected more and found a little bump/spot on the top of my testicle. Between this time and January i had to wait for an ultrasound on my testicle. It hadn't got any larger and was much smaller than a pea, but i believe this period of time caused so much stress and anxiety that it triggered my hypochondria back off and i have been struggling to come back to reality ever since.
Even after getting the all clear form the ultrasound i was convinced that they have missed it, it sounds stupid but even now i get the odd doubt about it. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that the doctor didnt actually tell me what the bump was, he just said there is nothing there and i'm fine. I had to do some self diagnosis, but i think the bump is an appendix of the testi, im not sure though.
I knew my HA was back though as after that i thought i had skin, anal, bowel cancer.
I had a huge lymphoma episode as google algorithim'd lymph nodes when i was searching for something and i am able to feel alot of mine under the skin and have 2 big ones either side of my throat, 1 of them much more feelable than the other (it's placed in a different place to the other). Of course, the more i poked this the more it grew and the longer it stayed raised.
Recently i have been worrying about a brain tumour as someone in my town died from one and just reading about it triggered it off. I have always had the testicular cancer worry at the back of my head though throughout the whole ordeal and i do still now and then.
I have been feeling better recently but i am nowhere near getting over this. I know i have a mental illness and this is why i am the way i am. Repeating these in my head brings me back down to reality. I went to my gp and instead of telling him about the most recent lumps and bumps i am worried about, i asked to speak to somebody about my HA.
I have had my assessment which helped in itself and i am currently waiting to see someone for the first time, but that could be a couple of months and i am going to have to do this by myself whilst i wait.
So that is where i am at the moment! sorry for the long post, but you seem like such a great community and i wanted to introduce myself. I didn't want to suffer in silence anymore!
Fast forward to now after being anxiety free for nearly 7 years and I have been having the worst episode of my life.
In September i noticed that one of my testicles seemed larger. I had always had 1 bigger than the other, but it felt huge. I inspected more and found a little bump/spot on the top of my testicle. Between this time and January i had to wait for an ultrasound on my testicle. It hadn't got any larger and was much smaller than a pea, but i believe this period of time caused so much stress and anxiety that it triggered my hypochondria back off and i have been struggling to come back to reality ever since.
Even after getting the all clear form the ultrasound i was convinced that they have missed it, it sounds stupid but even now i get the odd doubt about it. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that the doctor didnt actually tell me what the bump was, he just said there is nothing there and i'm fine. I had to do some self diagnosis, but i think the bump is an appendix of the testi, im not sure though.
I knew my HA was back though as after that i thought i had skin, anal, bowel cancer.
I had a huge lymphoma episode as google algorithim'd lymph nodes when i was searching for something and i am able to feel alot of mine under the skin and have 2 big ones either side of my throat, 1 of them much more feelable than the other (it's placed in a different place to the other). Of course, the more i poked this the more it grew and the longer it stayed raised.
Recently i have been worrying about a brain tumour as someone in my town died from one and just reading about it triggered it off. I have always had the testicular cancer worry at the back of my head though throughout the whole ordeal and i do still now and then.
I have been feeling better recently but i am nowhere near getting over this. I know i have a mental illness and this is why i am the way i am. Repeating these in my head brings me back down to reality. I went to my gp and instead of telling him about the most recent lumps and bumps i am worried about, i asked to speak to somebody about my HA.
I have had my assessment which helped in itself and i am currently waiting to see someone for the first time, but that could be a couple of months and i am going to have to do this by myself whilst i wait.
So that is where i am at the moment! sorry for the long post, but you seem like such a great community and i wanted to introduce myself. I didn't want to suffer in silence anymore!