View Full Version : How do you stop over reacting
When you notice a new symptom, how do you stop yourself from imagining the worst? Its happened many times over the years for me. Only this morning, I looked in my mouth as I have an ulcer and noticed what I think is a white patch near the back. I immediately panicked and thought cancer and asked my hubby to look, which he reluctantly did as he is sick of me. So I fretted all morning and then made an appointment at the dentist for tomorrow. I saw this a few weeks ago and thought nothing of it but today something happened and I freaked out. So now I am on the journey again, hoping the dentist tells me its nothing and worried in case he thinks its suspicious and I get referred to a specialist. I have already been told that I have lichen planus or maybe leukoplakia or something and I wasnt too worried and deliberately did not google.
I have been putting myself through this for many years. I was just reading some of my old posts from back when I joined nmp in 2006 and I have not changed at all. However, once I do get checked out/have tests I can accept the findings and move on. I want to stop going through all this though but I cannot seem to ignore new symptoms and feel compelled to get a medical opinion just to confirm what I already know deep down - that there is nothing wrong with me. I dont know what the purpose of this post is but as I cant discuss this with anybody (too embarassed/ashamed) this is my way of getting through. What should I do?
Thanks for reading.
My only advice Humly is do not go on that journey - kick that dragon in the b@@&&@x before it starts!
I am similar to you. I worry about my mouth a lot. When I was small (about 7) I visited my grandfather in hospital who had a cancerous ulcer on the side of his face. In the next bed was a poor soul who had lost his tongue, and this has stuck in my mind ever since for some reason. Grandfather came home and lived with us for a little while with the district nurses calling to change soiled dressings etc, so I believe this is where my health anxiety came from. Illness is a fact of life and it can't be helped, but I think my memory of that visit and him living with us, sadly, had a negative effect on me. I wonder if it was the wrong age to go hospital visiting? IE 7 is old enough to know a little about things but too young to explain things properly to. Therefore its left me with a bit of a health anxiety in later years.
Thanks Luc but I am already on the journey. I just cant do nothing about this as what if this time it turns out to be the real thing?
Alice, I dont worry about my mouth specifically but everything in my mind is cancer related, wherever in my body the latest symptom happens to be. I dont know what has caused me to be like this but what you are saying may explain your situation. I hope I can get some reassurance tomorrow and move on from this as I cant go on this way.
Humly I'm the same as you, everything is c word. I can't even say it half the time it makes me cringe. I'm terrified of it, absolutely, every symptom is that for me. All we can do is keep trying and keep doing the things we enjoy until it becomes more normal, I'm going to get a therapist soon to help me, it's ruining my life :weep:
I really do need to talk to someone but I dont think I can do it. I just find it all so embarassing to be like this and I cant even talk to my own family and friends or even my own husband!
MRS STRESS ED
13-05-14, 21:09
I really do need to talk to someone but I dont think I can do it. I just find it all so embarassing to be like this and I cant even talk to my own family and friends or even my own husband!
Hi love I have been were you are right now the only way forward is fight it you need to change your thought process instead of what if it is turn it round and say well what if its not ,its all about believing and accepting it is an illness but its not life threatening or anything sinister ,and you need to talk about it because it helps you and why should you feel you cant talk about it if it was an illness someone could see would you feel embarassed ,I understand you because I felt the same but dont bottle it up it wont help you keep pushing forward and most of all trust and believe its anxiety nothing more xx
:bighug1:
Thanks Mrs. I do need to change my way of looking at things. I know a lot of physical stuff is just down to anxiety and I can accept that but things such as this new white patch in my mouth, I know thats not due to anxiety and things like that I will probably always need to get checked out. Is this wrong or just sensible? But instead of thinking the worst, I need to turn it around and tell myself it will be fine - hmmm.
Dont know how I can get around the talking about things bit. Even my Dad, who thinks I can do no wrong, has rolled his eyes in the past and said "not another illness" and I dont want to burden my parents as they have enough to worry about. So for now, its gonna have to be here that I do my talking.
Humly, if the boot was on the other foot, and you were giving this advice to someone else who was in your position, would you tell them to check it out to be on the safe side? I know when I look at things this way around, I come to the sensible decision.
Yes I know that its the right thing to do getting it checked out and I pray that it will be ok. I am sad because for the past 2 weeks I have been getting myself sorted and started feeling like my old self again then this happens and knocks me back again.
I know that when I go to the dentist later on today I will breeze in and make light of the situation, as if its just a passing concern. I do it all the time because if I admit just how seriously worried I am I will burst into tears and make a fool of myself. I really need to talk to someone but dont know how I am going to do it.
You do sound a lot like me. I'm always feeling like crying when I have to talk about myself medically to explain to someone professional what's wrong. I don't know why that is, but it must be because of feeling anxious and worried partly that I'm not going to get the point across properly, leading to a lack of correct diagnosis or no diagnosis at all simply because I'm anxious - that is my concern anyway. I would seriously go check it out. It doesn't matter if you cry as you won't have been the first I'm sure (and I can vouch for that having done it myself!). Therefore with me,
1 I'm anxious when I visit a health professional
2 I'm anxious because I'm anxious and worried my whole reason for visiting won't be taken seriously due to bursting into tears or showing any anxiety whatsoever.
Its a vicious circle. I hate being like this myself, but you are not alone. I actually think that people with health anxiety have a heightened sense of self preservation compared to other people.
MRS STRESS ED
14-05-14, 12:13
Humley yes it is the right thing to get it checked out ,but tell yourself if it was something more you have gone early and thats a good thing but its more than likely it will be okay thats the way you need to think and I do understand you when you say about not having anyone to talk to ,because before all my problems I thought I had friends I now no who they are ,but I do have some family I feel I can talk to but you have us hun your nmp family :D xx
Alice, I can usually just about hold it together when talking to the doc about medical stuff, but when it comes to how I am feeling about things emotionally in relation to whatever I am there for, I just cant do it. Thats when I start crying and its the same if I try and talk face to face with family and friends - I start crying, cant talk, embarass myself so I end up not talking about it! I sometimes think though that I am so busy trying to seem "normal" to the doc that I forget to mention something that might be important. I've even gone in with things written down on a bit of paper and still not mentioned them all.
Mrs, I know I am right to go get this checked out, coz what if it does need further investigation and I just left it? I wish I didnt get so wound up and consumed by the worry. Fingers crossed for later.
Yep - done all that, bits of paper, worried I haven't told them everything etc etc.
I wish I could replace my brain with another one with no anxiety issues.
Just back from dentist and everything looks normal. I have got lichen planus in a few areas but I knew that already. I hate this anxiety. Feel reassured for a short while and then start questioning myself - she asked if it had got any bigger and I said I dont think so but I dont know coz I didnt pay much attention to it until yesterday.So I will worry about that now - classic health anxiety behaviour.
On the positive side she couldnt find it herself and I had to point it out and if it looked suspicious then she would know. Got to let this go now and probably find something else to worry about! Aaargh!
All of a sudden today I feel really worried about this white patch. I think reading some other posts has set me off again to be honest. My dentist told me it looked normal and I was happy with this at the time but now I want to cry. She didnt even say to keep an eye on it or anything so she cant have been concerned at all. Surely I can trust her and believe that she knows what to look for after being a dentist for 15 years? Someone give me a talking to please as I am getting myself into a state and not thinking rationally.
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