What's brought this on I wonder?

[PanickyPolly]

I don't know if it's because I'm supposed to be going to London on Monda and I can't make up my mind what I want to do but I feel terrible. I feel like the world is going to end. I'm too scared to even go out to get a pint of milk.

[creatrix]

Just breath, honey. sit still and just breathe. it will pass.

<<good vibes>>

(((hugs)))

[Chopper]

Polly, do you really, really, have to go to London?

I know how daunting that must be (I worked in The City for a number of years and hated every minute of it, so much so that if I never go back I'll be quite happy).

If it's work related can't you explain that the thought of the trip and the reason behind it are having a detrimental effect upon you?

If it's pleasure, think of it as just that, go and do the touristy things, go shopping, look forward to it?

Hope you have a good weekend, you're not alone m'dear.

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'



I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[PanickyPolly]

Thanks guys and no I don't have to go I've just been invited to a talk in one of the theatres by a company who's arse I am trying to kiss so I'm trying to keep in their good books buit the thought of going is worrying me. it will be to my advantage to go as I will be meeting people and it will help and article I am writing but right now teh thought of it is just ugh. Plus the money thing. I'd rather save it for things I really need. I'm not even writing the artcle to be honest I can't concentrate. Good job I wasn't given a deadline.

[Chopper]

Polly,

I know social situations can be daunting but ask yourself this ..... will you feel good if you go and it's a success? Or will you dread the whole event and make yourself feel worse, in which case don't go!

Not the most positive effect but being in insurance I'm well aware of the nature of risk and the cost of managing it.

If you're going to benefit from the trip, "take the strain" and do it. If you're going to suffer is it going to be worth it?

A difficult decision m'dear but one you have to face I'm afraid.

I'll be thinking of you on Monday and hope to read a post from you on Tuesday, one way or t'other.

Happiness and light to all,
'Chopper'

I saw her once, one little while, and then no more:
’Twas Eden’s light on Earth a while, and then no more.
Amid the throng she passed along the meadow-floor:
Spring seemed to smile on Earth awhile, and then no more;
But whence she came, which way she went, what garb she wore
I noted not; I gazed a while, and then no more!

James Clarence Mangan 1803 - 1849

[PanickyPolly]

It's difficult because sometimes when I make myself so things I feel better for it and really enjoy myself. Other times I feel crap. I think I'd be ok at the event bubt getting on and off busses and maybe being in the hotel on my own would freak me out. Plus my legs aren;t too good at the mo but then again they're never good and considering how they sometimes get they're good. Gosh I'm not making sense am I?

[Stew]

Polly maybe you should go, I think you'll regret it otherwise. I know its hard, i had to go to london a few weeks ago and to be honest it was horrendous( the tube esp) as crowds are simply something that scares the hell out of me. But i overcame it and towards the end of my stay i was actually beginning to enjoy it.

Stay postive hun, and i'm sure you'll be fine. Deep Breaths and off you go.

Good Luck

"Forget Perfection, You'll Never Reach it'

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Been there! Classic depression and anxiety. Don't you want to go to London?

It is hard to believe that the world will keep going on and that we will keep going on....but it's only hard to believe it when you think about it...most 'normal' people just don't think about it.

Distraction really is a great tool. Try to do as many practical, right (?) brained things as you can..take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. I know it doesn't solve anything, but neither does dwelling on things. If you can preoccupy yourself and, better still, do something productive you will undoubtedly feel better.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[mick]

hi polly
try to go m8 it wont be as hard as you think i bet,thing is i think if you can go, after the trip when your back home you can give yourself a pat on the back and say well done polly ive won a major battle against anxiety and your confidence will soar upwards i hope it goes well for you
Mick

my life has been full of terrible events none of which have actually happened!

[PanickyPolly]

Well I'm sat hre absolutely terrified. I gotta be honest...I just can't muster the strngth to go. I've tried adn tried but I justcan't and now thinking about it is making me feel faint. I would liek to go but I justcan't plus walking around London is going to be so tough physicaly for me with my hips being so bad. I really did try to psych myself up but this is just too huge for me at the moment. I just don't feel I should try to run before I can walk. I'm managing to go out locally which is more than I did a few ontsh ago so maybe I should just stick to that. As for distraction...am tryin my nest but my moods are so eratic I find it hard to concentrate for long. Working form hoem is all I have. Other than that my life is an empty void but I can't even work sometimes. it makes em so mad as my CPN said I am functioning I don't see how this is functioing

[PanickyPolly]

I'm really disappointed now that I wasn't able to go. I had to make a decision and I think I made the right one by not going as I could feel mysel fdrifting into oblivion with panic but I am so gutted that my anxiety has taken over my life ot this extend. Honestly...if only you'd known me 8 years ago. I went everywhere. I even went to the States on my own. I can't believe what I've come to. It's so sad. I feel life is passing me by. Whiz whiz whiz...there it goes.

[samc100]

Oh hugs Polly.

It was as you said - it was too huge for you at the moment. If you have only been staying local then it's a huge jump to be on a jaunt to London.

And you are functioning. At the moment you are not functioning as you'd like to but you have to do that really annoying frustrating thing of building back slowly.

And enough of my afternoon lecture. Hugs and I know how you feel.
Sx

[chillx]

Hi

As you said you feel you made the right decision so don't beat yourself up over it just try and put it behind you and move on. I think probably since you found out about this trip you have been thinking constantly about it and I know when I do that the fear just escalates.

Maybe this was too big a step for you at this stage and you need to concentrate on small steps. A trip to London is such a big thing!

I think you are doing really well, please don't let this blip get you down.

chillx

[PanickyPolly]

Still not functioning.

[MGBreva]

Hi Polly, how are you doing? Have you been to London or is it next Monday? I been there with those horrible travel thoughts even got the book the T shirt and certificate that at least says.... Well mate it was a nightmere before you did it but your back, your fine, you achieved your goal so pats on the back all round, I KNOW its not easy but stay focused on you goal of the trip, take the MP3 player with and book and listen to good music and enjoy a good read (thats if your traveling by train I hope). You will make it, impress the hell out of them in fact you'll blow their cotton socks off ...... and.........wait for it................you WILL be back on home turf with a great achievement on you belt.

cheers

Dave

[PanickyPolly]

Hi Dave

thanks very much for your thoughtful response. I didn't go becuase I felt ILL with anxiety and also even if I hadn't been mentally challenged as it were my hips were and still are in a very bad way and there would be no way I could safely walk around London. It's ok though...it turned out the talk wasn't that essential to my work after all. These things happen...I can't control them. That's all I can tell myself I guess.

This kind proves my point though doesn't it...the non functioning point. God damn CPNs.