googler192
17-05-14, 15:03
I don't know what else to do. I'm so anxious and scared and basically just completely at a loss. No judgement please, what's done is done and i can't undo it as much as i would love to. I'm aware that i've made a stupid mistake and i hate myself.
I'm a 21 year old single female student in my final year of studying psychology.
A week ago i slept with a white british man (22 years old) that i've slept with about 4 times before but this time it was unprotected. I know that this was such a stupid thing to do but he told me that i needed to trust him. he said that he was clear and he wouldn't sleep with me if he knew he wasn't.
I have health anxiety and it focuses on a severe phobia of contracting HIV. I've had two tests before and i've always had clear results but now i am absolutely terrified and convinced that because i slept with him unprotected that i will have caught HIV.
My fear goes as far as planning what i'm going to do when i get the positive test result. I have taken the time to plan what i'm going to say to my parents when i get my positive result. I'm so scared. My cousin and my housemates offer me reassurance and sometimes i can look at it completely objectively and rationally but when im being irrational its crippling. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't even get out of bed because i know that i have to face it again.
I don't have any symptoms but i got a sore throat the other day and now i think that it could be some kind of symptom (i've done enough googling to last me a lifetime)
I have previously had person centred counselling to try and combat my fear and I have googled every possible outcome. I'm so mad that ive got myself in this position two weeks before i go on the holiday of a lifetime with my family. I know that this is going to be on my mind for the duration of the trip but i can't tell my family what is really worrying me because my parents don't know that i'm not a virgin so they will be severely disappointed at my lack of care and consideration. I can't get tested until mid holiday because it wont be a month since possible exposure until then.
I know i shouldnt have done it but i wanted to show him that i trust him. I thought i'd gotten over this. Obviously not.
Any advice or others experience would be greatly appreciated. I am terrified. Please someone just help me.
I'm a 21 year old single female student in my final year of studying psychology.
A week ago i slept with a white british man (22 years old) that i've slept with about 4 times before but this time it was unprotected. I know that this was such a stupid thing to do but he told me that i needed to trust him. he said that he was clear and he wouldn't sleep with me if he knew he wasn't.
I have health anxiety and it focuses on a severe phobia of contracting HIV. I've had two tests before and i've always had clear results but now i am absolutely terrified and convinced that because i slept with him unprotected that i will have caught HIV.
My fear goes as far as planning what i'm going to do when i get the positive test result. I have taken the time to plan what i'm going to say to my parents when i get my positive result. I'm so scared. My cousin and my housemates offer me reassurance and sometimes i can look at it completely objectively and rationally but when im being irrational its crippling. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't even get out of bed because i know that i have to face it again.
I don't have any symptoms but i got a sore throat the other day and now i think that it could be some kind of symptom (i've done enough googling to last me a lifetime)
I have previously had person centred counselling to try and combat my fear and I have googled every possible outcome. I'm so mad that ive got myself in this position two weeks before i go on the holiday of a lifetime with my family. I know that this is going to be on my mind for the duration of the trip but i can't tell my family what is really worrying me because my parents don't know that i'm not a virgin so they will be severely disappointed at my lack of care and consideration. I can't get tested until mid holiday because it wont be a month since possible exposure until then.
I know i shouldnt have done it but i wanted to show him that i trust him. I thought i'd gotten over this. Obviously not.
Any advice or others experience would be greatly appreciated. I am terrified. Please someone just help me.