Why don't non-panickers get it?

[jollywalrus]

Hi Everyone,
I haven't posted for a while because I have been feeling a lot better. I just wanted to share my experience yesterday with you.
My husband took me superkarket shopping, which as many of you know has been a super panic situation for me. We have been going every week and I have now progressed from a basket to a small trolley. My husband has been so patient with me and I know he has been feeling a bit more optimistic that I will get over it all. SO WHY DID HE ABANDON ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOP TO GET HIS WALLET FROM THE CAR?!!!!
"I've lost my wallet!" he shouted and promptly ran out of the shop. This sudden situation threw me and I quickly went to 9 out of 10 fear. I tried to shop hanging on to the trolley for dear life, but I'm afraid I went to pieces a bit. I bought pork and leek sausages instead of pork and beef because my eyes wouldn't focus properly!! I was scared.
He came back after twenty minutes, completely oblivious to my plight.
"You left me in the shop" I said, but he didn't get it. It just shows that unless you experience panic and anxiety, you don't really understand it at all!
Best wishes,
Christine

[Laurie28]

Christine,

You are so right!! they don't understand, you can't possibly until you have been through it. Your husband however seems to be great and has supported you even though he will probably be the first to admit he doesn't understand (when I was at my worst my boyfriend didn't understand one bit (and he admitted it) but he could see what a state of fear I was constantly in and always supported me - I think i scared him alot as i went from a grounded person to this hysterical wreck!!))

Anyway you survived!!! YOU WERE IN A SUPERMARKET FOR 20 MINUTES without anyone with you for support, you didn't choose to do it that way, but you didn't run screaming from the shop, you picked up some wrong sausages it's not a big deal.

I think you done GREAT:D

[Tessie28]

Hiya Christine,

I think loved ones try but cannot understand unless they have felt the same. Depression [as you may know] is like this too and I go spare if I hear anyone say "why don't they just pull themselves together"[Duh!]:(.

Anyway you managed the shop thing really well so a big pat on the back you did well to get any sausages at all!

Take care,
love Tess xx

[Meg]

Christine ,

Well, what fantastic progress you've made over these past weeks !!

A progress summary post in successes is called for please ..

Good for you .

If the truth be known I think he panicked a bit about his lost wallet . Suddenly it wasn't where it should have been so he took off in a hurry ( forgetting your needs) and clearly to have taken 20 mins it wasn't where he thought it was in the car either !!
What a great impromptu practice and achievement for you though . Chuffed I hope .




Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[Caz Fab Pants]

Christine,

I guess its just too hard for most people to grasp and often not through lack of trying.

Think you did really well in the shop and it just goes to show that you are capable of alot more than you give yourself credit for. Good for you!! :)

Hugs,
Caroline
x

[Lilith]

A long time ago I witnessed someone having a panic attack, and I thought she was just being a drama queen and looking for attention, because OBVIOUSLY there was nothing to be afraid of. Once I started having PA's I remembered this incident and was terribly ashamed of myself for having such thoughts. I guess you just can't comprehend it until you go through it.

[kate]

So true, Lilith,

We judge people so quickley without being aware of what they may be going through.

A lesson to us all, I think.

Kate x

[sal]

Hi Christine

Doesnt it just show no one can really grasp how you feel until you have been there yourself.

You have done really well progessing from a basket to a trolley, i know myself it is so much easier to abandon a basket than a trolley and took me a long time to feel comfortable using a trolley.

It was a minor blip, but not on your part. Circumstance dictated that anxiety attack, as if he had his wallet you would not have been subjected to those feelings.

But you didnt run out of the shop, you carried on. The easier option would have been to bail out but you carried on with it. Be pleased with yourself i am sure many of us put in that situation would have gone out.

Lots of love Sal xxxxx

[mico]

Christine

I panic...but sometimes I don't even 'get it' myself. Although I can understand it on an interlectual level, but when you have those good days it can be really hard to understand why you felt so bad on other days. Unless you're feelng the anxiety then it can be very hard to understand, and if I can struggle to understand this about myself, then the average non-panicker is going to have a tough time understanding how we feel when we panic.

I guess everyone experienced some type of panic at some point during their lives though, and many can understand it to a degree.

mico

[Jules31]

Christine

Well done, you did so well.

I know just how you felt, my other half is so supportive but I had to remind him several times not to go wandering off in supermarkets (when I couldn't shop on my own). Many was the time I'd turn round and he just wasn't there as he'd gone to find something else. We got there in the end though.

Funnily enough I was shopping on my own yesterday when I noticed on one shelf a pile of stuff that someone had obviously just dumped there. Before I had anxiety I wouldn't have even noticed it but it just made me think, that I probably wasn't the only person with anxiety in there!!!!!

So be pleased with yourself, at least you got your shopping done

love
Jules

[nomorepanic]

I used to hate supermarket shopping but never ran off and left the trolley cos I wanted the food lol.

It is hard to explain but I then decided to come up with some techniques (that I never used but had them ready).

If you are in the queue then just tell the cashier that you need the loo. If you embarrassed to say that just say I need the ladies I am pregnant or something. (may not work for the guys!!!!).

You could also say that you forgot something and need to go and get it. Then go outside and compose yourself before going back. So what if someone pinches your trolley full of shopping - you can do it all again lol.

Above all don't avoid it - keep plugging at it and you will get there one day!

Nicola

[jo-jo]

Hi Christine

Yeah, its so difficult for other people to appreciate what you are going through. I only started suffering from panic and anxiety a couple of months ago but it really hit me hard at first and it put quite a strain on my relationship with my husband because he just didn't understand and felt helpless to do anything about it. It also hit home to me that I'd never really understood what my mum had been going through as she's suffered from panic/anxiety for years. I felt so awful for how I'd been to her in the past, you know, telling her to pull herself together and so on.

The best we can do is give our nearest and dearest as much information as possible so they know what is happening and then for support from those who really know how it feels, there's no better place than here :D

Take care
Lots of love Jo xxx

[Caz Fab Pants]

Nic,

I know exactly what you mean. Up until quite recently I used to have a few excuses ready incase I had to leg it once I got to the check out.

I've never used this one but think it would be a great one if you wanted to leave in a hurry. Just say 'Oh god how embarrassing, I've forgotten my purse! I'm really sorry but I'm in a hurry/have meeting' Then just go. It's totally plausable and not going to make you look like a nutter.

Then there's always the fake phone call. Just make your mobile ring by playing with the ring tone and make out its an emergency and you have to go. Although I think this would draw attention to you so maybe not a great idea.

To be honest, the best thing is to soldier on and just do it. Whether you have to think up excuses to act as a crutch or not, just tell yourself how impracticle it is to leave without the shopping and see it through. :)

Well done Christine, you did great.

Caroline
x

[jollywalrus]

Hi All,

I find the thing I do most when I get to the check out is talk! I go on about anything I can think of while I push things into bags! I'm sure they think I'm a bit nutty, but I have to get through the fact that I am pinned down at that checkout. I get terribly disorientated, almost as if I can't walk for falling over! I just try to step through it, but it's a really odd symptom.

Today I went out alone for the first time in ages (the kids are on hols) and I found panic swept over me in every shop. I'm dissappointed because I had become so much better, but I now realise I am relying on the fact that someone is with me all the time. I can't believe I did all the Christmas shopping alone in shopping malls with queues galore last year!! Where has that person gone?

Anyway, just a setback I know, I keep on going!

Love
Christine

PS Went to the beach on Saturday without a hitch. It was lovely. More of that please!

[Caz Fab Pants]

Christine,

Glad you're being so optimistic and can you rub some of it off on me. I swear I'm a natural born pesimist! lol

Caroline
x