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View Full Version : One hell of a year!



heather1
19-05-14, 20:57
Ok this is probably not right to post here. But just in genral need a rant and chat...and people to talk too....so since this time last year its been one hell of a time.

First of all my mum was diagnosed with thyroid cancer....so I went into a state of panic then a feeling off numbness.... (my step mum died of cancer in 2012)....yhe day after that I left my partner, who was mentally abusive controlling manipulative etc....I left him in the middle of thr town centre with our little girl and moved into my dads....

My ex then stated shouting abuse and harrassing my family and friends....turning up in places I was like picking daughter up from nursery.

Then june last year my grandad had a fall and a few weeks later he ended up in hospital with pneumonia and a crushed fracture in his back....he was in hospital until October last year until he came home. He is now chair and bed bound....so when he came home my grandma had carers in to help....but everything in between she done for him hoisting etc....

The abuse from ex continued and he was finally arrested and charged with stalking in November pleading not guilty.

Grandad then went back into hospital week before Christmas then came home Xmas day which was the best.

On new years day evening my dad had chest pain....not major but he went to the drs next day and an ecg showed a minor heart attack so he was sent straight to hospital where he was then told he needed a bypass. So after a few weeks in hospital he was sent to Papworth and had a triple bypass.

Then in March I had criminal court because of stalking.ex changed plea to guilty restraining order was given.

Then in April my grandma died very suddenly. I was and still am devastated....pm revealed heatt failure. But it was a total shock....we were all close and to me she wasn't the grandma I saw occasionally but I sa her and grandad every day. My grandad is now in a nursing home. Which my grandma would be pssd off about because she faught tooth ans nail to get him home.....

In between all this iv been in court once a month since August for child contact but as of last week my ex is only allowed indirect contact with his daughter. ..

But im so sorry for the essay but just wanted a rant.....at the minute my head just seems blank...there is nothing there. It also feels like my mind isnt let me think of my grandma and I camt picture her nor anything....Im trying to be the strongest I can be but I feel like im eventually just going to breakdown...like eventually its all going to hit me...

Just some kind chat would be lovely :)

Rennie1989
19-05-14, 21:01
Bless your heart!! That is one heck of a year! I am so sorry that it has been very turbulent, I don't know how I would have coped if it happened to me. But you deserve a massive pat on the back for getting through this the other end unscathed, well done you!

Have you considered having counselling? You had a lot going on and I can imagine a million and one emotions along with it. It may help to get it off your chest to somebody impartial who can help you find the way to lead a harmonious life (by harmonious I mean staying calm and in control).

Take care of yourself

heather1
22-05-14, 19:28
Hi rennie thank you for replying :yesyes:

I would find it extremely difficult and embarrassing to talk to someone face to face about how im feeling.....
Right now im flapping about HA and im feeling totally unreal :/ ? But it's just weird.....it feels like my mind doesn't want to think of anything....its just like its pushed everything to the back of my mind and locked it away....and the front bit of my head where im supposed to think is just blank.....its the only way I can describe it. :shrug:

swgrl09
22-05-14, 20:40
Hi Heather,

I agree, what a year you have had! Wow. It makes sense that your brain wants to not think and wants to shove all that to the back. How could you not? I remember feeling like that for a while when I had a tough year ... I think it's like being in shock almost. You're mind doesn't want to feel it.

Just keep in mind that the longer we push things to the back, the more they try to push right back out. Eventually our feelings will find a way to come out. It's better to do it in a controlled environment with a therapist than to just snap and break down out of no where.

Hoping for the best for you :hugs:

heather1
22-05-14, 21:20
Thank you :D I know what you mean....all these emotions and thoughts will eventually come out and not in the best way. My grandma had a break down 20odd years ago....but it happened about two years after her mum (my great grandmother "nan nan") died. I suppose it was the same she bottled it all up.....and she was a strong person....and im.very weak....ive surprised everyone and myself at how strong-ish I've been....but now im figuring out that its because everything is being pushed back....

Thanks for the replies :yesyes:

Zeitgeist
22-05-14, 22:33
Stay strong.

Not sure why life always throws so much at you in short order but it does.

It will feel terrible one, embrace that but know it will get better. If you need help seek it, sometimes we all need a friend or some respite, or someone to listen.

You will get through it. And the future will be bright.