View Full Version : Scared of bi polar.
Ever since recognising my anxiety, I have not stopped googling mental health conditions and disorders. I am currently obsessed with Bi Polar disorder, (last week it was panic disorder, the week before that clinical depression) it's debilitating, thinking I have traits if Bi Polar, when in fact I don't. But everything I'm really happy I convince myself I'm going through a mania, then I get PMS and think omg I'm depressed. I must have Bi Polar.
I am so scared of getting a horrible mental health condition it's all consuming,
What I'm most scared of is getting this and wanting I kill myself. I, terrified of death. I'm scared my brain will get poorly and make me want to die.
Does that sound a bit drastic?:roflmao:
No not drastic at all, but the advice i will give is to STOP Googling. It really isn't much help in the grand scheme of things and always appears to flag up 'worst case scenarios'.
That said i personally gave in to it late last night and then felt terrible after, it had filled my head with a load of what -ifs.
I suspect most people at some stage wonder about suicide, i did once and it frightened the life out of me, of course i wouldnt have acted on it as i have too much to live for, it was just a fleeting intrusive thought and that's all.
Have you anyone you can speak to about your worries, maybe a doctor or a councillor?
Please don't worry too much, you will get better. :)
I am on a waiting list for CBT, but it's about four months long. I'm not to bad really, I have always had HA, and I do worry excessively about stupid things, like when I have a so ought period pain I have cancer or forget something it's a brain tumor. But I don't really act on it, because my rational brain takes over most of the time.
I haven't been to the doctors for years, only a little a while ago as I had a panic attack (brought on by health anxiety) and a virus all the the same time. I didn't eat or drink anything but water for ten days and my body went into melt down, had more panic attacks etc.
He gave me anti anxiety meds, citropram. 20mg, but I took it and it nearly knocked me out. I have never felt so poorly, so I vowed to get better on my own.
Meds are not something I ever want. Which I think is why I'm so scared of Bi Polar/Depression.
It spjust seems iv found something new to obsess over instead of cancer. I never realised there were so many mental disorders, and i didn't even realise I had anxiety until I had the panic attack.
---------- Post added at 19:09 ---------- Previous post was at 19:08 ----------
I also feel guilty when I look at google. But can't seem to stop myself.
---------- Post added at 19:10 ---------- Previous post was at 19:09 ----------
I also feel guilty when I look at google. But can't seem to stop myself.
Just keep in mind... If you "think" you're going mad, you're not. Someone who is truly in psychosis doesn't realize it.
Positive thoughts
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