So sure I have cancer....

[Worried 24/7]

So I know my fears bounce all over and I probably seem crazy...or are crazy....but I'm so terrified I have cancer in my throat. I have a super hard lump on the back wall of my throat that is clear looking that has been there quite a while. I also have a squishy looking lump behind my tonsil. I keep getting burning tongue on and off. I keep getting more and more lymph nodes popping out in my neck. My neck feels sore and I get pain deep in my throat where the dip is sometimes.last three months keep having feeling similar to popcorn kernel stuck on back of tongue. Drs say swollen taste buds...but why for months??? iNow I feel like the glands are swollen under my jaw. Glands. Nut lymph nodes. I keep getting intermittent pains in weird places like my inner knees, backs off ankles, inner wrists, inner elbows....I have tender spots on my stomach sometimes(gas, condstipation??). I get pains at the bottom of my ribsright on the ribs. L ower back right sided pain when I bend over for months now. Feels knotted up maybe? I had bronchitis recently and they saw it on a chest xray but now I'm scared they only THOUGHT it was bronchitis and it's actually cancer that has spread because my friends mom died from being misdiagnosed with bronchitis for months :-( I'm so convinced I have cancer that has spread through my lymph system and I'm going to die. My back story is this:

Binge drank a fair amount until I had my kids but now drinking is rare
Don't smoke, never have
Constant sinus drainage
Allergies
Terrified of hpv(which could cause throat cancer???) Because I always would kiss my best friend on the lips and I'm scared she has it and doesn't know
Only ever had sexual intercourse with my husband(we got together when I was 15)


I read things saying the hard lump could be a cyst and the other lump behind my tonsil could be as well, or the hard lump could be from sinus drainage, etc... but given all my symptoms I'm TERRIFIED I have throat cancer. My neck pains are scaring me. I keep thinking it could be tight neck muscles but I just can't convince myself of anything but hpv and cancer.... I don't know how to keep going on terrified daily

[Fishmanpa]

I had oral cancer. In fact, I spent the entire day at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore getting follow up tests and exams. Even with the cancer free reports, I suffer with some really unpleasant side effects from treatment. How would you like to have to do swallowing exercises every day for the rest of your life so you'll be able to swallow? That's what I'm dealing with so you have every right to fear this nasty disease. Thing is, I'd be willing to bet my next paycheck you don't have it. With your described history and age, it lessens the possibilities even more.

What you describe just doesn't present like any oral cancer I've read about and I'm part of a couple of forums where everyone has had some variation of it.

So, make an appointment with your GP and express your fears. Get the medical reassurance you don't have it and please speak to him/her about some kind of therapy to help you corral these thoughts.

I've said this before several times on these boards. Cancer can bury you six feet under ground. HA can bury you above ground as living with such fears isn't living :(

Positive thoughts

[UKmamainUS]

Regarding the swollen tastebuds, My five year old has one. Dr said out might never go down and she might need to go to an ENT to get it removed, but it's nothing sinister. If you and your hubby have only ever had intercourse with each other the chance of you having contracted hpv are small. The risk increases with number of partners. I hope that if nothing else, these two snippets of info can help you relax a little.

[Worried 24/7]

Fishmanpa: I have my first appointment with a therapist tomorrow :-) also, if I had throat cancer that has spread, would my neck lymph nodes be noticeably hard or large? Because no doctor has seemed concerned... How bad would I be feeling? I'm really tired lately.

UKmamainUS: could I have gotten out from a closed mouth kiss do you think?? I've changed my whole life due to being scared that I have a disease. I won't kiss my kids on the lips anymore or share drinks or food with them because of my fears...

[Cusper]

Hi Worried.

I have the same feelings as you. I have had all sorts of symptoms and now I know for sure that it is anxiety and not a disease. Right now I have the pains in the inner knees thing going on. Actually I have had leg pains all week. I have had anxiety that has gotten worse since I have had a child. I have had pains underneath my ribs....I went to the doctor thinking I had a tumor under there and it turns out that it is actually my ribs that bend from carrying my son around in a carrier. I quit drinking and smoking last year and have given up every kind of food with additives just in case. I am obsessed with health sites etc etc... but still these roaming symptoms. If it were to come down to why I think this is the case is because I am a housewife and I think I need more mental stimulation and a goal. I just had a breakdown this morning because I woke up with those pains... but I've realized that when I am out with friends having fun I don't notice any symptoms. I personally think that all of these physical symptoms are a manifestation of something we aren't addressing. I think it's because I don't have a job. Maybe there is something underlying that you don't know is bugging you? Anyhow I hope you feel better I just wanted to write in and let you know that I am feeling something similar. Maybe a midlife crisis? I don't know but if I can I think I might go see a therapist because this isn't living.

[Worried 24/7]

Hi Worried.

I have the same feelings as you. I have had all sorts of symptoms and now I know for sure that it is anxiety and not a disease. Right now I have the pains in the inner knees thing going on. Actually I have had leg pains all week. I have had anxiety that has gotten worse since I have had a child. I have had pains underneath my ribs....I went to the doctor thinking I had a tumor under there and it turns out that it is actually my ribs that bend from carrying my son around in a carrier. I quit drinking and smoking last year and have given up every kind of food with additives just in case. I am obsessed with health sites etc etc... but still these roaming symptoms. If it were to come down to why I think this is the case is because I am a housewife and I think I need more mental stimulation and a goal. I just had a breakdown this morning because I woke up with those pains... but I've realized that when I am out with friends having fun I don't notice any symptoms. I personally think that all of these physical symptoms are a manifestation of something we aren't addressing. I think it's because I don't have a job. Maybe there is something underlying that you don't know is bugging you? Anyhow I hope you feel better I just wanted to write in and let you know that I am feeling something similar. Maybe a midlife crisis? I don't know but if I can I think I might go see a therapist because this isn't living.

Holy crow! It's like I wrote this!! I also have a son I carry around a lot. I am also a housewife with no life outside the house! And then we have the same symptoms! That's so crazy, I'm so glad to see your reply!

[Fishmanpa]

Fishmanpa: I have my first appointment with a therapist tomorrow :-) also, if I had throat cancer that has spread, would my neck lymph nodes be noticeably hard or large? Because no doctor has seemed concerned... How bad would I be feeling? I'm really tired lately.

It wouldn't manifest as fast as you described. I had one swollen hard, immovable node that grew slowly over several months and didn't respond to antibiotics. I'm also much older than you and my lifestyle lended itself to it. My doctor was concerned. The fact that several doctors are not concerned with you hopefully will quell your fear.

Good luck tomorrow! You can beat this!

Positive thoughts

[Fizzy Warrior]

Hi! Me too! Some of the symptoms you describe sound very familiar to me! The 'popcorn kernel stuck on back of tongue' thing, tickly/tingly throat & chest, and pain at bottom right-side of ribcage, I have all those too. I've been very tempted to Google the symptoms but am trying very hard to wean myself off doing that as it only ever leads to more problems! I haven't gone to the doctor yet because, for me, these symptoms are just the latest in a long list of various symptoms I've been experiencing for the past 18 months or so, and I've been convinced I had everything from coronory heart diseas to MS and back again. My doctor has now managed to convince me that my symptoms are all anxiety related, and (I think) that caused them to subside, but now they've been replaced by these 'new' symptoms (in the past couple of weeks) which I learned from this site, is apparently a classic thing that happens with HA. So I'm trying not to worry, and am telling myself it is all part of the HA and I managed to make all my other symptoms go away by mind-over-matter, ie believing my doctor when he assured me that there was nothing physically wrong with me... so if I can do it once, I can do it again, right? That's what I'm telling myself anyway! And I always find it reassuring to come on here and find other people who have the same sort of symptoms. Hope you feel better soon -x-

[Worried 24/7]

Good to know I'm not alone. I waited a month to get in with a doctor then accidentally missed the appointment and now they won't take me so I have to start all over :(

[UKmamainUS]

I'm no HPV expert, but I'm pretty confident you can't catch it from a closed mouth kiss. I think you would either need to have sex, or specifically touch a wart or something. Do you even know for sure your friend has HPV? Even if she does now, it didn't mean she was having a contagious outbreak when you kissed her. Could you see your doctor and get athe Gardisill vaccine to put your mind at ease about future HPV.

---------- Post added at 13:11 ---------- Previous post was at 13:05 ----------

Please don't deprive yourself of kissing your kids (though let's be honest, sooner or later they aren't gonna want to let you kiss them on the lips anyway). I TRULY believe that if what you said on here is 100% true (and you have no need to lie to strangers so there's no reason it wouldn't be), you won't have HPV. Can't you get a pap done just to was your mind?

[Worried 24/7]

I got a pap but I'm worried I have it orally....

---------- Post added at 20:50 ---------- Previous post was at 19:16 ----------

Two days agree the last time I kissed my friend on the lips, my tongue started feeling funny and had everysince with only short breaks of relief. The doctor today said he thought it could be acid reflux. But the timing scares me...however, I did kiss her goodbye often for like a year before that, so maybe it's just a big coincidence. Then recently she was showing me her mouth because she's been having dental work and I saw these fleshy bumps on the back of her throat and got all freaked out again. I'm scared I have warts on my throat where the doctors can't see them. Then in scared that if I have the hpv virus that that's why in getting all these weird pains and getting sick often. :(