Negative beliefs v fact

[NE21 worrier]

Hello folks,

This is just a general thread for myself based on a CBT technique which I have recalled. Indeed, this was one of the first techniques which I learned about and it's probably something which I should have revisited a few weeks ago as I've been having a rough time with anxiety recently, as noted in this thread (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=154057) (which is work-related but I have noticed anxiety creeping into all areas of my life).

Nevermind, at least I'm looking at it again now - one thing I do know is not to beat yourself up about things you should have done but haven't. Anyway, basically, the technique is to write down the most negative beliefs that you have about yourself - the stuff that is really causing you the most anxiety - and then challenge them with facts.

Here are a few of mine:
Belief: I'm not grown up enough
Fact: Yes, ok, I live at home when you're 30 with my parents - it's probably not where I envisaged I would be when I was an idealistic teenager. But I have looked after myself generally fine before when I've lived out previously and I have stated an ambition to move out again. There are plenty of 30-year-olds still living with their parents - this is really not something to worry about.

Belief: I can't do my job very well
Fact: Again, I can understand why I have this belief as my call times are some of the longest in the contact centre and the nature of the work often focuses on this. At the same time, though, I have some of the best quality results in the workplace - an advantage of a perfectionist streak - and I deal with complaints usually in a very reasonable way. My manager supports me well and I have a new job to move into soon anyway.

Belief: I don't eat regular meals
Fact: Again, there is some evidence behind this belief so again it is understandable why I have it. Again, though, the evidence is flawed in that it is recalled from the times when I have been anxious. Of course, I don't eat very well when I'm anxious - the first thing which goes is my appetite (in line with the digestive system shutting down in fight/flight). The way out of this is to find out what I am anxious about and deal with it. Otherwise, evidence suggests I eat quite normally.

Belief: I'll let my friends down if I miss out on... *anything*
Fact: I have a great group of friends and an active social life. I have missed events in the past without losing their friendship. My friends would understand if I have external stresses causing me to take it easy and possible miss out on events - sometimes I just have to learn to say 'no'. Indeed, an area for improvement is actually saying 'no', rather than not replying to a text at all as this is surely a greater form of avoidance.


I think this may have helped me sort out my head a bit for now. I hope this sort of thing might help others too! :)

Peter

[HalfJack]

I try to do that too but I've never really thought about it, I'll definitely make a conscious effort to do it more now :)

[NE21 worrier]

Oh it's not easy to do! If it was I would have done this thread already and yet it's taken me a while and a couple of 'bad' weeks to get to this point. I'm just glad some of what I have learned has finally kicked in. It really shows I'm getting there, though :)

When I was younger, I used to write things down a lot more than I do now on paper - now I seem only able to write extensively on the computer but I suppose that's sometimes exactly what these forums are for.

Take care,
Peter :)

[HalfJack]

I think it's something I've always done naturally but making it a thought I listen to was the hard part.

[Ryan92]

I've suffered with negative beliefs for years. It's been a while since I tried this technique, its difficult for me but I really need to do it more often. Thanks for this :D