Leem
22-05-14, 12:11
Hi all,
As I haven't posted on here for a while i would like to let you all know how am doing dealing with GADS and depression. Hopefully this will boost some of you and let you know it isn't impossible to start climbing out of the hole.
First a quick summary of my downfall. In August 2012 I literally was in melt down, couldn't leave the house, was very anxious, had suicidal thoughts and was generally withdrawn from life so much that my world shrank into what seemed like a small tunnel in my mind. This was a person that went around the world solo for 10 months, 6 years earlier, full of confidence. I didn't recognise that person anymore, that person was dead in August 2012 onwards. This all came about mainly because I lost two people dear to me within 3 months in 2012. More recently, I lost my nan who was my idol in November 2013, and although devastated, how I felt this time and dealt with it was a little different.
My secret isn't ground breaking or revolutionary at all and I still get the odd anxious spell, but nowhere near as much. The start of crushing my anxiety started with very small steps. Leaving the house to pop around to the shop and recording my levels of anxiety every time. Popping to see a friend and sitting with them even though I felt like shit and was really scared. The trick is to keep doing small steps with things that scare you, but are necessary for you to have a fulfilling life eg. seeing friends, driving a car, shopping, work etc... I remember my first time back in a car for 18 months, boy I was shaking like a leaf, heart pounding, sweating, dizzy, you know, all that good stuff!!! But I did it, then I drove a little further, then a bit more. I recorded how anxious I felt after each trip. And it got less each time.
I went to both funerals of the people close to me which were ridiculously anxious filled and terrible in 2012. But I did it and felt better after having 'achieved' this. My nans funeral was obviously bad, but what do we expect, it IS a bad occasion. But I dealt with it differently in my mind. The fact is, we are all gonna die. The trick is though, its what you do in between that counts. My nan had close to 30 strokes, cancer, but still lived till 97, and still smiled. Now hang on, she still smiled! How come? Because she literally refused to let it dominate her life. Oh now I see, we must try to live life to the full regardless of what we are up against. Its hard, I aint gonna lie to any of you, its very tough, but it is very rewarding long term. If going to the shop fills you with anxiety, do it, regularly. If you do this every day, you will walk in there with a swagger in a few weeks I guarantee that.
I have now gone from not being able to leave the house to gaining a distinction for an MSc and working as a consultant! Something that a couple of years ago would literally have been unbelievable. In fact when I was 'sound of mind' I wouldn't have achieved as much. I find myself now saying yes to things even though they really put me out of my comfort zone. I struggle to actually say no to challenging situations.
My tolerance levels in life were very narrow a couple of years back, now this has widened incredibly because i have forced these imaginary barriers open with doing things in small steps and confronting anxiety head on. Its hard when you start doing it but it does gets easier. It has taken me almost 2 years of hard graft to get to this stage. I have had some terrible days as well, but they are temporary. Stick with your goal and you will feel like a rock star once completed, no matter how small the task is. Monitor your anxiety and depression on paper or on a computer.
I aint gonna bore you all or ramble on too much (oh I have! Soz) but if you have any specific questions on how I stopped getting anxious in certain day to day activities, I will try to answer them.
Much love, and all the best xxx :)
As I haven't posted on here for a while i would like to let you all know how am doing dealing with GADS and depression. Hopefully this will boost some of you and let you know it isn't impossible to start climbing out of the hole.
First a quick summary of my downfall. In August 2012 I literally was in melt down, couldn't leave the house, was very anxious, had suicidal thoughts and was generally withdrawn from life so much that my world shrank into what seemed like a small tunnel in my mind. This was a person that went around the world solo for 10 months, 6 years earlier, full of confidence. I didn't recognise that person anymore, that person was dead in August 2012 onwards. This all came about mainly because I lost two people dear to me within 3 months in 2012. More recently, I lost my nan who was my idol in November 2013, and although devastated, how I felt this time and dealt with it was a little different.
My secret isn't ground breaking or revolutionary at all and I still get the odd anxious spell, but nowhere near as much. The start of crushing my anxiety started with very small steps. Leaving the house to pop around to the shop and recording my levels of anxiety every time. Popping to see a friend and sitting with them even though I felt like shit and was really scared. The trick is to keep doing small steps with things that scare you, but are necessary for you to have a fulfilling life eg. seeing friends, driving a car, shopping, work etc... I remember my first time back in a car for 18 months, boy I was shaking like a leaf, heart pounding, sweating, dizzy, you know, all that good stuff!!! But I did it, then I drove a little further, then a bit more. I recorded how anxious I felt after each trip. And it got less each time.
I went to both funerals of the people close to me which were ridiculously anxious filled and terrible in 2012. But I did it and felt better after having 'achieved' this. My nans funeral was obviously bad, but what do we expect, it IS a bad occasion. But I dealt with it differently in my mind. The fact is, we are all gonna die. The trick is though, its what you do in between that counts. My nan had close to 30 strokes, cancer, but still lived till 97, and still smiled. Now hang on, she still smiled! How come? Because she literally refused to let it dominate her life. Oh now I see, we must try to live life to the full regardless of what we are up against. Its hard, I aint gonna lie to any of you, its very tough, but it is very rewarding long term. If going to the shop fills you with anxiety, do it, regularly. If you do this every day, you will walk in there with a swagger in a few weeks I guarantee that.
I have now gone from not being able to leave the house to gaining a distinction for an MSc and working as a consultant! Something that a couple of years ago would literally have been unbelievable. In fact when I was 'sound of mind' I wouldn't have achieved as much. I find myself now saying yes to things even though they really put me out of my comfort zone. I struggle to actually say no to challenging situations.
My tolerance levels in life were very narrow a couple of years back, now this has widened incredibly because i have forced these imaginary barriers open with doing things in small steps and confronting anxiety head on. Its hard when you start doing it but it does gets easier. It has taken me almost 2 years of hard graft to get to this stage. I have had some terrible days as well, but they are temporary. Stick with your goal and you will feel like a rock star once completed, no matter how small the task is. Monitor your anxiety and depression on paper or on a computer.
I aint gonna bore you all or ramble on too much (oh I have! Soz) but if you have any specific questions on how I stopped getting anxious in certain day to day activities, I will try to answer them.
Much love, and all the best xxx :)