As I get older the fear gets worse!!!

[xBettyBoopx]

Am having a real bad time lately but I have realized that thoughts of getting better when I was younger, have now faded completely. It's not the thoughts making more symptoms but the other way around. I feel absolutely defeated. If in all these years (40+) I couldn't stop the symptoms or accept them, then how will I now when I have tried every area I possibly can.

I am at the moment stuck at an exhaust centre trying to get my lil car fixed and trying to hold on to myself. I am only a mile from home but may as well be 10000000!!!! It's the third time I've been here in a week and I've felt like this all 3 times...omg I'm rambling AGAIN!!!

[Annie0904]

Aww BettyBoop, I don't know what to say but just want to send some hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[SarahH]

Me too:hugs:

[trish1955]

I feel .like you Betty I am so tired of fighting the loosing battle of forty odd years what chances I am ever going to be free from dam anxiety panic and agoraphobia the few that. Have been over it one time or another. Seem to end up back here with a so called blip well over the years mine slightly lifted but never left me and after a slight lift when it can back it was always with vengeance always more scarey than before to the point I can not go out to my daughters next door can no even relax in my own home only time I not aware of my panic phobias is when I m asleep which I o my have five of six hours a night xxxxx

[Catherine S]

Betty an Trish...i'm in the oldies club too! Mine started in my mid 20s and i'm now 60 :scared15: I don't know if either of you girls have seen my thread about Magnesium supplements posted this morning? Take a look, it might it of some interest to you both.

I Still Believe x

[Annie0904]

I'm an oldie too (56) and blame everything on hormones :)

[Catherine S]

Hormones have alot to answer to :nonono:

[NoPoet]

Well, for what it's worth, it hasn't got anything to do with age. Even if you were 99, you would still have time to get better. What is affecting you is the length of time you've had these negative thoughts. You've created a pattern of thinking that has become a part of your nature. Over time, constantly thinking these things has led to a few very unhelpful beliefs - for example, the belief that you won't recover.

Believing something for long enough can make the belief seem unshakeable, but that doesn't mean it actually is. It will just take more time and effort to change it.

Are you in therapy? I would strongly consider you seek out CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) with a highly qualified therapist. CBT is a practical form of therapy which can be painful at first, as it maps out the extent of the problem, which may seem frightening. But CBT helps you to target specific parts of the problem and eliminate them one by one. As problems start to clear up, they can have a "domino effect" and take other problems with them, without you having to do any extra work. Also, CBT is useful at finding your specific negative beliefs and helping you reprogram them.

Some people talk about the "homework" aspect of CBT as if it's a problem. Anyone who is not prepared to do any kind of work is not giving themselves much chance of getting better.

If you have a good therapist and are prepared to work with them, you may start to see results within a handful of sessions, mainly when you learn that the actual problems causing your anxiety are fewer and more "normal" than you may think.

[AlexandriaUK]

I'm also a golden oldie, if you think about it we had no support system in place when we were younger but if we had and could have had something like NMP to go and find others to relate to how great would it have been, someone older and wiser who had been there done it and got the tea shirt and the cap:) would we be were we are today, still anxiety sufferers, I think if nothing else maybe we can help the younger anxiety etc sufferers learn that they can and will get better.

[trish1955]

Your right. One thing we can prove to the you youngeR ones are we are all still here fighting the fight lol as for CBT phycicpoet I ave tried that along with so much other stuff and your right to alexandra there was no support for us. My doctors didn't even. Give my illness at 12yr old a name I was nearly thirity by time I new I was agoraphobic I some times
think we should just get on being g this way as you read post were people have Been cured or been panic and anxiety free to end up back here having what they call a blip every. Blip i had was harder and harder to shake well I Be honest I still have not shaked it lol lol bless us golden oldies xxxx

[xBettyBoopx]

Thank you to everyone who replied. I am sorry you are all suffering too. I haven't tried CBT with a 'professional' coz I was turned down but i basically do it everyday anyway. Every day is a fight and I am so tired. I could type out an essay!!!

[trish1955]

Me to bettyboop I could write all day about how my day my life my constant battle goes on and on but lie you. I am to tired to even begin lol xxxx

[blueangel]

I agree absolutely with PsychoPoet - CBT can equip you with the tools to manage anxiety but you have to engage with it. Therapy is not about sitting there and saying, "OK, cure me", because it just doesn't work like that.

When I went for CBT, I ended up paying for it myself because the waiting lists were so long, so I don't know whether the fact I was using my own money focussed my mind on getting as much as I could out of it!

[trish1955]

Yes blue angel it mite work it mite not if I worked for evey one there be a lot less on here as there are people on here that tried CBT think this depends how bad you are myself or how long you have been this way I had a cpn years ago was WOR,king with her a year in2004 and she had just slight change my way of thinking in a year then she had to leave I was left with no support for a few years and some bad stuff happens in my .so all I had learned had gone they talking about me doing g another course of CBT. I did in2011 and it didn't do any thing they talking ten weeks I ave been this way for over forty years. And they think ten weeks will change it it didn't I. 2011 why will it work now. Xxxxx

[AlexandriaUK]

I think that CBT works if the recipetent is in the right frame of mind at the time they start the course but Its not a sure fired cured for anyone, I have some who have had meds hypnosis acupuncture you name it they have had it and still suffer.
I find group Therapy is really good for some who can deal with others knowing there business as this really does let them see there are others trying to cope with the same problems.
You can set up group meetings in your areas yourselves, just make sure Its in a safe secure area maybe a local library or comunity rooms.

[trish1955]

How do I find out who suffers in my area not that I could do this as I can not even go to my daughters next door let alone a group meeting which I wolud like to do if in time I get out this really deep rut I am in at the moment what is the right frame of mind as everything I like your friend have tried so many things and each time I have gone and worked hard at what they ask of me yet. As I say still trying go find away xx

[AlexandriaUK]

Hi Trish will PM you, but the right frame of mind means that in a way you are at your best because some people cant leave the house so to be able to go they have to leave the house so are receptive to being guided along the right path.
There are courses out there that you can start at home if you are agrophobic.