Harribo
25-05-14, 02:11
Hi guys, not really sure if this is meant to go here or not but I'm sure it will be moved to the right place if need be.
Where do I start? I have had my anxiety under control for the last couple of years now and I still have so you maybe wondering why I'm posting to be fair, the answer to that is I just need a chat and some advice about life. I have really ****ed up the last couple of years.
I'm 23, I have a beautiful 8 month old daughter & a gorgeous girlfriend who I have been with for 2 years. Perfect right? I have just outed myself to her and admitted to cheating on her 5 times the latest was Thursday just gone. I felt terrible & my head was burning with guilt & I had to get it off my chest. I feel like my life has come crashing down around me & iv lost everything. My mind is fuzzy I feel confused & drained. I literally feel like ending it. I know a lot of people on here will be like you whatever you feel like that think of your girlfriend & I am.
I don't know why I told her after the fifth girl. I didn't feel guilty up until that point & it was for some reason that girl made me feel guilty for all of the others. I also believe I may have a cocaine & alcohol problem. I only drink maybe once a month but when I do I binge and when I have a drink I take cocaine.
My girlfriend has agreed to try & work things out but I just feel miserable and numb to everything and I am not sure what to do as I am in my own little bubble at the minute.
I genuinely think I have bipolar and sociopathy personality because I am either sad or happy up or down and it also disregard other peoples feelings for my pleasure. I rarely feel guilt & I am just a nasty person in general, yet I still don't want to sort my life out. I am on the downer phase to my sick messed up mind now so I am feeling all is wo is me and don't literally give a damn about myself my girlfriend or anyone or anything. I feel very on edge. My girlfriend deserves better.
I sometimes feel like if I don't nip this in the bud now I am either going to hurt myself or somebody around me. I don't want sympathy I am a fool. I am like a cancer. A nightmare for everyone. My girlfriend would whipe my backside if I asked her too. She does everything for me & I have done this. I could honestly write a book.
So sorry for this draining boring post, I just needed toget off my chest what a loser I am. Thank you.
Harry.
Where do I start? I have had my anxiety under control for the last couple of years now and I still have so you maybe wondering why I'm posting to be fair, the answer to that is I just need a chat and some advice about life. I have really ****ed up the last couple of years.
I'm 23, I have a beautiful 8 month old daughter & a gorgeous girlfriend who I have been with for 2 years. Perfect right? I have just outed myself to her and admitted to cheating on her 5 times the latest was Thursday just gone. I felt terrible & my head was burning with guilt & I had to get it off my chest. I feel like my life has come crashing down around me & iv lost everything. My mind is fuzzy I feel confused & drained. I literally feel like ending it. I know a lot of people on here will be like you whatever you feel like that think of your girlfriend & I am.
I don't know why I told her after the fifth girl. I didn't feel guilty up until that point & it was for some reason that girl made me feel guilty for all of the others. I also believe I may have a cocaine & alcohol problem. I only drink maybe once a month but when I do I binge and when I have a drink I take cocaine.
My girlfriend has agreed to try & work things out but I just feel miserable and numb to everything and I am not sure what to do as I am in my own little bubble at the minute.
I genuinely think I have bipolar and sociopathy personality because I am either sad or happy up or down and it also disregard other peoples feelings for my pleasure. I rarely feel guilt & I am just a nasty person in general, yet I still don't want to sort my life out. I am on the downer phase to my sick messed up mind now so I am feeling all is wo is me and don't literally give a damn about myself my girlfriend or anyone or anything. I feel very on edge. My girlfriend deserves better.
I sometimes feel like if I don't nip this in the bud now I am either going to hurt myself or somebody around me. I don't want sympathy I am a fool. I am like a cancer. A nightmare for everyone. My girlfriend would whipe my backside if I asked her too. She does everything for me & I have done this. I could honestly write a book.
So sorry for this draining boring post, I just needed toget off my chest what a loser I am. Thank you.
Harry.