fear of paranoid schiz again...is it real noe

[vekiqf]

Hi everyone,

I am diagnozed with pure O 15 months ago and was generally good but today i had a relapse.My fear is fear of schiz paranoid type as i learned that I cant develop other types in my age..I am 34 male.I have this fear for 2 years now.I had a visit to 6 shrinks and had therapy with last one until last November and all said that I have OCD intrusive thoughts. Yesterday I had an affair and this morning thought pop on my mind what if she is an witch I know that this is bullshit but I cant remove it out of my head and I am so anxious.I am scared that I will start to beleive in that that this is psychotic break that this is schiz thought.Also thought that I can kill her started to increase and I know that I would never do that but always there is an another thought what if it is true.I am very sucessful in my job and I expect a baby in September but this is killing me I see myself in mental hospital and on drugs like a zombie..I have huge fear of it and feel terrible
How long does it take to develop schiz??Would I develop it after 2 years?Am I schizo?Please anybody

[RoseEve]

You are simply too old. I know it's hard to believe but you are well past the age if developing it. Accept it. It's the truth.

[Worrier13]

I'm really afraid of schiz myself and reassurence like "you dont have if u are aware of everything and are afraid of it" does not help at all since our fear is that someday we will develop it. I dont have much advice or help but you're not alone. I'm trying to just live in the moment and be glad of every moment I'm sane eventho I sometimes feel like Im not even real and get fullblown panic attacks everyday:( it's ruining my life ans I just cant get this out of my head