Do you have many friends?

[xBettyBoopx]

For those who don't go out very much socially.....do you have good friends? I'm not talking about online or even work colleagues but true friends?

I have seen a lot of posts about lack of friends and feeling lonely (that's me too) but I was wondering whether this is true to form or if you're lucky enough to have some friends who have stuck by you. I don't believe that if you/we had another kind of disorder/illness, it would be any different. A while ago now I worked with someone who had cancer, he 'lost' a lot of his friends who decided it was too hard on them to go around and see him or phone and ask how he was. How much of a friend are you if you dump someone because they're having a bad time?!

Oh dear, this really is a rant of some description lol:hugs:


http://blog.logmycalls.com/Portals/155740/images/rant_marketing3.jpg

Els/bettyboop
xxx
xxx

[itisok]

it might be social anxiety

---------- Post added at 06:08 ---------- Previous post was at 06:07 ----------

Feeling you might be disliked is major cause of social width drawl

[Magic]

Oh dear, I have social anxiety ,don't like parties or doo's but I have never or would ever turn my back on anyone who was ill. I know many people who are ill.
As for friends ,mine are mainly on nmp.
I have a neighbour who is a true friend. That's about it.
By the way I am not a miserable person -although I sound like I am.
Someone I new was ill. It was her funeral last week. My husband went,
but I could not go because I was busy looking out for someone else who was ill.:unsure:xx

[Fishmanpa]

Interestingly enough, despite the fact that I'm totally comfortable with people, have no issues being in front of large crowds (I'm a performing musician), can speak with them like I've known them all my life and bare my soul through music.... I have only a few friends I consider close and with whom I stay in touch with (I can count on one hand). Even prior to meeting my future wife, I didn't have an issue being on my own and actually preferred it. Her and I spend a lot of time together but we also give each other space. She has her interests and I have mine and while we appreciate the other, we don't actively participate together.

Certainly, I (we) go to the occasional party or got together with a friend(s), but outside of what I do for a living and my music, I prefer my solitude.

Positive thoughts

[Annie0904]

I used to think I had quite a lot of friends until I was ill, now (not counting my NMP friends) I have 2 friends, they have been there for me through thick and thin and have given me so much support. I have done the same for them in the past. 1 or 2 genuine friends are worth hundreds of those who are not.

[MRS STRESS ED]

Hi xBettyBoopx before all my anxiety got really bad I had friends ermmm dont no what happened ,I dont like crowds myself even family parties I dread ,but I do have some very good family ,but I think that my anxiety has made me lonely xx

[Booboojenny]

What a good post..I was just thinking today a good friend is not someone you have neccaserly know for years it could be someone you just met..I have learnt a very hard lesson in the last 3 wks just who really does care about me....when I am fully recovered I am going to help everyone who is ill... I would hate to think of anyone suffering alone like I did at times to feel that desperate and have know one to turn to ...I think the government should provide MH support workers to help support sufferers for the first two months at leadt after diagnosis, it would lighten the load on he GP's too. May be if we all write to our MP :) just a thought:D

---------- Post added at 17:28 ---------- Previous post was at 17:20 ----------

I do realise that some people that i know have never sufferd with MH issues and cannot relate to anyone with depression, I think there needs to be so much more awareness out there about anxiety/depression it is a serious illness. I was actually told last week by someone you have to pull yourself together, luckily I was too drugged up to comment :yesyes:

[Magic]

Oh Booboo, How I hate (that's a horrible word I know) the expression "Pull yourself together" has anyone got a good reply to this one?
or "What do you do with yourself all day"? that is something else that annoys me.:mad:

[Rennie1989]

I have only a few friends that I speak to from school and what ever friends I make are from work or college. Because I am too shy and have this damming feeling of not being worthy I don't often go out and socialise with them. I spend more time texting them or messaging them on Facebook because, if I do want to see them, we are all either working, studying or otherwise occupied.

I have a ton of work to do with my novel anyway that this kind of suits me down to the ground.

[yvonne_uk_98]

I have friends at credit union, my women's group and my nmp friends.

I feel that my friends on here nmp are more supportive, caring, loving and understand more. My women's group, they understand as we have come through similar situations.

my true friend is my sister. I have lots of true friends on here, everyone is precious!

[GingerFish]

No, my partner is my only friend tbh and I'm the same with him.

[Ryan92]

I have 1 friend, I met him at secondary school. I don't see him much now though because of his job and my social anxiety issues. He knows I'm a very shy and anxious person and I can't help feel he'd rather be with his other friends instead of me. Mainly because they're more talkative, confident and have more in common with him.

[Soph18]

i have no friends really. Well one and that is it. No one that fully understands me though. I'm alone and just want someone to talk too.

i got violently attacked by my so called best friend because she thought she owned me. She would say i was amazing then hurt me, kick me, punch me, strangle me, pop my lip. It was horrible.

so now i have trust issues. Xx

[Blagger Boy]

Nope.

[AnxietyDJ]

To be honest, I do have a lot of friends (that isn't meant to sound as showy-offy as it does btw), but since officially being diagnosed, I have seen them a lot less, which conversely has made me realise that perhaps they were not such great friends after all - i.e. now I don't make the effort with them (which I used to do), I never hear from them. I've known them all since I was 11, so we go back a long way, which makes it seem like even more of shame that I am drifting apart from quite a few of them.

I have only told two very close friends about my diagnosis though, as I am worried a lot of my other friends will not understand or make fun of me :(

[ChrisScotland]

My social anxiety and panic has gotten rid off most of my friends.That sounds bad, but it's just the way it has gone for me.

If you find it hard to be around people(friends), you stop doing it, then your friends start to fade away, either because they think you don't like them, or because they get tired of asking you to hang out after so many rejections.

[SoppyCow]

Ive had one friend for the last three years, he is enough for me :-)

[MyNameIsTerry]

None anymore. I had several good friends before, I'm similar to FMP in that I would be in front of people a lot (not a musician, but I would be hosting meetings, doing talks, training, holding workshops, etc) and I tend to prefer a few really good friends to a few hundred people on Facebook that I don't really have much of a connection with.

I lost my friends because I isolated myself. I cut off all contact because I was so stuck in my anxiety and didn't want to trigger anything further. My social circle revolved around work as well and I couldn't be in all that stress and infighting once this hit me. I couldn't socialise as we would be in pubs, clubs, activities, etc and I didn't feel I could do any of that.

I don't judge them for this, they are still friends to each other, it was what I went through and I couldn't make the effort with them. I have considered making contact since but to honest, I'm not sure whether it would return to good days and I've quit drinking which was a feature of socialising.

It is my belief that this is part of the problem with anxiety disorders because if you can't work, socialise or enjoy time with others...it hammers your self confidence, self worth & self esteem.

[Carnation]

They say that if you can count friends on one hand, you are extremely lucky.
My Dad use to say that your best friend was your pocket. (Money).
I've always thought that your best friend is your Mum.
And then when you meet someone, they should be your best friend.

[HalfJack]

Yeah I have no friends, I think I distanced myself from them too. I'd love to have friends but I just don't connect with many people. I do have a boyfriend though.

I keep in contact with my ex and a few old friends of mine in London. They're always inviting me down but I rarely have the money for the train tickets.
I used to act, so I have the performer mask on a lot of the time. My hands shake a little in big groups but usually no one notices. I have a few groups of friends in the town I grew up in. We don't keep in touch but when I visit we play poker and have a laugh.

I miss being around people, until I'm around people. Very catch 22. If I drink alcohol then I become a social butterfly but the social butterfly gets me into trouble so I don't drink much at all now :P