Madgirl12
28-05-14, 21:51
I'm single, with no children and in my late 30s. I've always said I don't want kids, for many reasons. One of the big ones is because of my depression and anxiety, I can't imagine inflicting this on a child and also having to take care of a child when I can barely take care of myself and even silly things send me into a blind panic. If I have a headache and I'm lying in bed with obsessive thoughts flying through my brain I sit and wonder how do people with kids do it? Especially those who are prone to anxiety/depression etc.
I haven't had sex for years and I am worried about getting pregnant if I do it again. I wonder what I'd do, if I'd have an abortion or if I'd keep it. I worry about ending up a single parent if this happens, and not being able to give 'my child' a decent life. I see how other people struggle, even those where two parents are present.
My brother and his partner have 3 young children. My brother is the most laid back person I know, nothing fazes him and he takes everything in his stride. I think it helps that he has a great job and no money worries. I must have gotten all the anxiety/depression genes in our family. My mother has (jokingly at first) been saying to me "Doesn't it make you want one?" when she sees me with my nieces. She has been pressing the issue a little bit more often saying things like "Supposing you find a man and he wants kids?" I never know what to say but when she starts this talk it makes me anxious. Then it comes back to me at other times and I get stress headaches thinking about it.
Thing is, part of me is upset about the idea of never having a 'family' - by this, I mean the chance to replicate the unit I've grown up with, mum and dad and sibling with all the memories that come with it. I know that being a parent is very hard and I imagine it's even worse if you have health problems. It's weird and a little upsetting seeing friends with kids and knowing that I'd be rubbish as a mother. Sometimes I wonder about it, it must be a biological urge that comes over me from time to time. But I'm not a natural child person although I like being an auntie and am enjoying this role. I can't imagine being pregnant and giving birth, it fills me with dread.
I know the 'happy family thing' isn't the same for many families and that some kids don't speak to their grown up parents for whatever reason and that not everyone has it rosy. Not everyone is the same.
It's also very difficult to find a man as it is, let alone one who doesn't want children. There doesn't seem to be many men out there who don't want kids. Another thing that preoccupies my thoughts.
Am interested to hear from any parents or child free people especially.
Thanks :)
I haven't had sex for years and I am worried about getting pregnant if I do it again. I wonder what I'd do, if I'd have an abortion or if I'd keep it. I worry about ending up a single parent if this happens, and not being able to give 'my child' a decent life. I see how other people struggle, even those where two parents are present.
My brother and his partner have 3 young children. My brother is the most laid back person I know, nothing fazes him and he takes everything in his stride. I think it helps that he has a great job and no money worries. I must have gotten all the anxiety/depression genes in our family. My mother has (jokingly at first) been saying to me "Doesn't it make you want one?" when she sees me with my nieces. She has been pressing the issue a little bit more often saying things like "Supposing you find a man and he wants kids?" I never know what to say but when she starts this talk it makes me anxious. Then it comes back to me at other times and I get stress headaches thinking about it.
Thing is, part of me is upset about the idea of never having a 'family' - by this, I mean the chance to replicate the unit I've grown up with, mum and dad and sibling with all the memories that come with it. I know that being a parent is very hard and I imagine it's even worse if you have health problems. It's weird and a little upsetting seeing friends with kids and knowing that I'd be rubbish as a mother. Sometimes I wonder about it, it must be a biological urge that comes over me from time to time. But I'm not a natural child person although I like being an auntie and am enjoying this role. I can't imagine being pregnant and giving birth, it fills me with dread.
I know the 'happy family thing' isn't the same for many families and that some kids don't speak to their grown up parents for whatever reason and that not everyone has it rosy. Not everyone is the same.
It's also very difficult to find a man as it is, let alone one who doesn't want children. There doesn't seem to be many men out there who don't want kids. Another thing that preoccupies my thoughts.
Am interested to hear from any parents or child free people especially.
Thanks :)