Struggling with Anticipatory Anxiety!

[Charlotteee89]

My anxiety has calmed down quite a bit in the last few weeks but of course there's still some there.

I'm constantly scanning myself wondering if I'm feeling anxious & if a certain thing or situation will make me anxious or not & when it doesn't I kinda panic over not panicking? :wacko:

I'm a little stressed at the moment by more normal things but my anxiety disorder is making me feel more anxious & panicky over them, & as soon as I start getting anxious my obsessional thoughts kick in & then I start getting anxious over my thoughts... It's all one big horrible cycle.

My anxiety is making me feel very self aware & very conscious of myself which is making it harder, I'm so preoccupied with my own silly thoughts. I can go a good few days where I feel normal & think more normally but then suddenly I will mentally freak out be like "Oooo I'm not anxious! What's going on? I should be anxious!" "What can I think about now? I'm not anxious, why am I not thinking irrational things?!" "Why am I not obsessing? What's even 'normal' thoughts anyway?!" then I start getting obsessive thoughts again - I've triggered the thoughts myself! :doh:

Anyone have any advice on how to control this anticipatory anxiety? How to stop myself getting overwhelmed about not being anxious & the constant scanning of myself?

:)

[Oosh]

Haha why are you getting freeked out because you're not feeling anxious/panicky ?
Shouldn't you see that as a sign you're functioning more and more normally each day.

I used to/occasionally can feel a feeling of self doubt but it's more a feeling like im a tightrope walker doing it and then looking down and panicking and thinking "omg what are you you doing, you can't do this, get out" but I don't think that's quite what you mean.

It's a good sign whichever one it is. It's self consciousness. It's spending time in a normal external, spontaneous mindset, without thinking too much about it and you know this because then suddenly you can look inward and start questioning it/yourself.
Like you're a director, directing a movie and all cameras/focus is on everyone else and then you turn all cameras/focus in on yourself and put yourself under the microscope.

You're spending more time in a non-anxious, non self conscious, externally focused mindset, be happy about that.

Why are you not anxious/panicky ? Because it's leaving. Snap straight back into the external thoughts you were having before you questioned it.

If I'm not grasping it feel free to put me straight.

[Charlotteee89]

Anticipatory Anxiety is very common, my Therapist is constantly telling me off for 'anticipating anxiety' & constantly scanning myself.

When you've had weeks & weeks of anxiety & you're finally feeling better but you're not quite there enough for your anxiety to not move onto something else. Your mind is almost in auto-pilot for anxiety, it's gotten so used to it that it's almost 'normal' even though you know it's actually not. & As soon as you start to feel happy & non-anxious your mind starts questioning it because it doesn't like this new mind-set, because you are still very aware of yourself, constantly nit-picking & over-analyzing. You so badly don't want anymore anxiety that you can't help but question yourself wondering when & if you're going to be anxious again. You're too aware of yourself, which isn't always a good thing, you're too sensitive.

I'm going through Social Anxiety right now, I'm constantly wondering whether my closest friends at work actually really like me & actually want to spend time with me, & constantly 'finding' reasons why they don't, even though I know it's stupid & I'm being over sensitive & over-analytical. I just so badly want to do stuff like go out, go out for meals etc, basically just do anything to get me out of the house which I still get anxious over. I think I'm just craving independence so much at the moment & I'm getting a bit jealous over other people being independent & having 'a life' so to speak.

:wacko:

[StrayWookie]

This is a kicker yeah. I know after years of constantly being on edge, the first time I was in a psych hospital for treatment after about 2 weeks in there I was in the lounge watching a movie and felt really weird all of a sudden. I checked my pulse and it was low, like about 60, which at the time was odd because I was ALWAYS anxious and monitoring myself, so I actually had a few minutes of calm and was not even thinking about anxiety. The oddness of that feeling sent me into a panic attack lol. Weird what we can get used to.