my life is a mess

[Soph18]

My life was good a year ago. My new baby sister was born and I became a proud big sister. The happiest day of my life.

Now, I have lost half my family because of how I feel. I have started having stupid anxiety attacks and not feeling able to leave the house. I am emotional alot of the time. I lost my step mom in Jan and life is messed up ever since.

I feel alone. I feel misplaced and feel like no one understands me so feel like I cant talk to anyone. I just want to feel happier before I go to uni. But what if I get to uni and no one likes me? I make no friends?

I just want friends around me, giving me cuddles and telling me everything will be ok and go back to the old times. But no, that can never happen... :'( xx

[jefferina]

I'm sorry to hear about your step mum that must be incredibly hard for you.... I don't no you or your step mum but I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be so unhappy... Mayb you could see your gp and talk to someone about your loss... About a year ago I couldn't even sit in the same room as my family and I am very close to them so it was awful... I had constant anxiety attacks which led to not leaving the house ... I now can sit with them and I can go out.., I just took it day by day spending small amounts of time with them and built it up overtime... I suffer from social anxiety so I have a way to go but I'm getting there... I just take one day at a time and try and face a small fear every day.. Like today my brother is coming round so that's another step in right direction... Also I find meditation exercise and getting fresh air really helps x take care xx lots of info on net about meditation x

[Oosh]

So did all of this start when you lost your step mum in January ?

Losing people can trigger anxious and depressed feelings. It's come at a difficult age for you too. You'd have been finding things difficult anyway.

There are friends everywhere and it sounds to me like you'd make a good friend. Try not to see things negatively and believe stuff that isn't true. You're feeling sad, it's expected and it's allowed.

Other people going to uni will have the same worries as you, I know that for a fact. I've seen hundreds of people voice this in posts.
Instead of seeing it as you and them why not see the other students as having the same worries as you and try and give them a friend and make them comfortable ?

You'll become a valued friend to many of them.

It's also a good opportunity to find good friends there who you can confide in about the loss of your step mum and they can give you a hug and help you get over it. The whole experience can be a healing process for you.

See it, then make it that way.

Get out of your head right away that you won't make friends and that nobody will like you. You know that's not reality and I do. Nothing's that black and white.
All that's true is those beliefs will bring you down and make you believe stuff that simply isn't true.

Keep posting, there are lots of people in your age group feeling the same way. You're far from alone.

You're going to make good friends at uni. You're gonna be a rock for others there who need your friendship and support. Be there for them, give them a friend, make them giggle and feel better, you'll be there most valued friend.

[Soph18]

aaawwww thanks to both of you for that. It is just my fears and me being stupid most of the time. I have lost so many people and i have lost half my family too. It is just a tough time right now. I have my exams in the next 2 weeks and that doesn't help. I just don't know what to feel anymore. I am feeling like I'm invisible and feel like I'm a rubbish person. :( I will get there I guess. Xxxx

[Oosh]

You're not invisible.

You're not a rubbish person.

One at a time. Try and get your exams out of the way. It's one less thing on your mind.

Then give yourself time to feel sad about your step mum and look forward to uni, making new good friends.

Concentrate on what you can GIVE to those new friends. Be a good friend to them. And when they call home they'll be saying "I've met a really good friend called Sophie and things at uni are a lot better now".

It's gonna be a tricky year but at the end you'll be coming out of it and a lot wiser for it.

Go through your life being cool to people and giving and thinking about how THEY might be feeling and you'll become a very prized friend.

You need a support network around you when things are hard. If you haven't got them there you've got them here.

[Soph18]

aaaww that message then made me cry. I have never had anyone tell me I'm a prized friend before. I'm just scared and missing my step mom so much today. I cant stop crying.. :'( it means sk much that you just said i have people here to help me through.. Thank you! Xx

[Oosh]

:yahoo:

[Soph18]

thank you.. Means a lot. Your support is helping massively. Xxx