Do other people really struggle with change?

[worried 101]

Hi there.
Havent written on here in a while, last summer i went through pretty much a nervous breakdown.
Was very poorly, but slowly have come through and now have a counsellor and new meds. Basically learning to deal with things a bit better.
I still have my down days and have a lot of anxiety issues. Basically today I found out that my mum and dad were hoping to move to france in the not so distant future. While this has always been something they discussed it never really came of anything as my mum was never to keen, but now she has come round to the idea and are looking to move.
This came as a huge blow to me as I look to my mum for alot of support and she has been a big part of my recovery. I burst into tears when she told me but know that this is something they have always wanted and deserve this.
Has made me feel really down though and I really struggle with change.
Does anyone esle experience this real fear of change or have any advice I would be really grateful?

[Angelika]

Every little change brings on anxiety for me. I think it started when I was moved as a child and left with my grandmother I'd never met. When I was moved again later on, when I married, when I had a baby, when I moved house again - any change of any kind is a threat to me, and causes bouts of anxiety.

I can honestly say, looking back, that every change has been for the better and I regret none. For eg, having baby/s was the best thing I've ever done. However, my brain doesn't learn. I hate it.

[worried 101]

Thankyou for your reply. It helps to know im not alone sometimes. I think my fear and hate of it stems from childhood as my mum was often ill and in hospital alot when I was younger. I literally cant stop crying about it. Feel so pathetic as am 24 and have my partner and my own life now to get on with but really struggle to be away from my mum(even moving 20 mins down the road seemed a long way!)
I know its what they want and it will make them happy and its totally selfish but wish they weren't going and they stayed. But I know it's not going to happen and that I'm going to have to put a brave face on it but don't know how as literally feel so upset.
My partner struggles to understand why it's making me this upset. If only I could stop these tears... Trying so hard to but keep falling apart!

[Angelika]

Sorry to hear this. It's hard to give advice where I'm useless myself. The only thing I know is what I said - looking back, no change has been worth the panic, they have all taken me forward. Not doing things because you fear the fear is no way either. All I can recommend is that you try your best to say to yourself over and over if necessary, something like: 'I know what this is. I am just fearing change. However, this time I am going to let this happen while I am afraid, because I know it only the automatic anxiety that is making me afraid, there is nothing to really be afraid of.

[Rennie1989]

It is very normal for change to cause anxiety in anybody. When I moved to Kent last January is triggered a period of depression, whilst for my husband starting a new job back in Surrey caused him massive anxiety. Some people thrive off change, other's do not.

[Ryan92]

Hi :)

I struggle with change. In the past, my family have said they would like to move to Spain. As soon as I heard this I would always have a panic attack. Scared of the big change, not having my family for support unless I went with them to Spain.

It makes me feel guilty like it's my fault they haven't gone yet. One day, when Im able to control my anxiety I hope they can go and enjoy themselves and who knows maybe I'll join them, although I doubt it :)

I cant cope with change very well at the moment but I feel one day, I could do with a fresh start in my life. There isn't much around here, jobs, future prospects, friends etc. At the moment, change does still make me feel very anxious, think Im being a little too ambitious with the moving away idea at this moment in time lol

I think my parents divorce is what started my problems with change.

I've suffered with anxiety for years, last year I had a breakdown. I was offered a job but couldn't accept it, I was having several panic attacks daily, mood swings, thoughts of suicide, crying. It wasn't just the change making me feel anxious, the pressure of dealing with new people daily and working to deadlines.

I'm starting to make small changes in my life. It makes me feel very anxious at first but eventually I feel better afterwards than before.

I suppose whats not helped me is since after leaving college I've been stuck at home and unemployed for 3 years.

Im stuck at home most of the time so Im stuck in a rut so change in my life is even harder :doh: I try and keep positive, one day when I'm able to control my anxiety, a better job that I will enjoy will come (I hope :doh:) or I'll be able to have that fresh start in my life.

Your definitely not alone :hugs:

[worried 101]

Thanks to all of you for your replies, it does help to know that there are others out there that suffer from change although i wish none of you had to!
I have been feeling low all day..really struggled to feel anything but real sadness. It sounds terrible but I dont feel excited for them or happy as all i can see is it from my point of view which is awful, selfish and do feel bad as I know they deserve a chance to do something that will make them happy, I just wish it wasnt moving away to France!
Im finding it hard as I know if it caused me that much upset that my parents would not go, but I do not want this as know it is something they want and deserve. Its just at the moment I cant face seeing them or speaking to them as I know ill probably end up in tears as hard as I try not to and dont want to make my mum feel even more guilty.
I feel fustrated at myself as I think 'come on, you're and adult, get on with it. How many adults have parents that move away and cope with it fine?' I wish so much I could just view it like that.
Ryan 92 I really hope that you get the fresh start that you deserve and I can completely understand how the anxiety can cause things like panic attacks as I keep having flurries of panic all day, like butterflies in my stomach.
Rennie, is there anything that helped to decrease yours and your husbands anxiety?
The fact that I have no control over it all dosent help...Im not the one making the decsision to move so its out of my hands really.
God I wish so so much I didnt feel like this:weep: